Ever since I was born I have been named “fat”. By the time I was 14 I had enough of being socially unacceptable and bullied for my unattractive complexion in other people’s eyes. This motivated me to lose 22 pounds by the summer before my 15th birthday when I travelled abroad to Lebanon.
I had come to a conclusion to why I had lost so much weight at that time. Firstly, I had no studies and other things to focus on so it led to less stress which supported my weight loss. Secondly, I was able to walk up and down the mountains without thinking that it is a must to exercise to maintain my weight as I had tons of friends to enjoy conversations from morning to midnight. Therefore, I had fewer cravings for food as I did not spend my time at home in front of the food and felt completely satisfied with less food to just stay out of the house. Finally, I ate vegetables most of the time I felt the need to eat, which boosted my weight loss before the date of arriving to a country called Qatar.
I felt socially acceptable, proud of my achievement. However I gradually destroyed the fact that I lost so much weight as I returned to Qatar. The reason is, it’s not as safe to always stay out of your home and therefore you have more temptation to eat food. Also, even when you are out there is always a reason or something to encourage you to eat. Moreover, even though joining gym and trying to be more physically active could help, you realize that you have studies and friends and problems, which increases stress and could therefore, increase weight gain.
I was never able to maintain a healthy weight. It was either to eat so little or to eat so much. Due to my failures in dieting I have tried so much and given up on trying to be socially acceptable by the way that I look. Although it is very important for me to be socially acceptable as I am a house captain for my school, and I need to be more approachable. I have given up on the consequences of food, as I use it no matter what mood I am in, or if I wanted to feel better about myself.
In my head at this moment is only frustration, I want to do something about this, yet I don’t. I want to re-live a happy, confident life and avoid stressing about gaining weight. I want to hear something I’ve never heard before. I definitely wouldn’t like to hear the plain old “eat healthy and exercise”. The truth is, you can’t do that here. Even if you signed up for gym – especially when your home is filled with snacks and you’re the only one in the family with a metabolism as slow as a snail.
So what do I do? No, I can’t move countries; I’m only 15 years old. I’m starting to hate myself more and more. I need something that works, on the short term but could work for a life time. I was fat my entire life and I’m back to the same weight and I have no choice but to keep gaining as long as I am in this country. As for exams, I need to study a lot and because I have more cravings, I’m always sitting down. Please help me… I need something useful. Tell me something I don’t know.
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