I'm getting depressed because people don't like me. Help!

Hi!

I've just reached the point where I can't take it any more! All my life I have been trying to figure out why I don't have friends and why people don't like me and today I'm just giving up. Let's face it, the truth is that people DON'T LIKE ME

I can't make friends, when I meet new people it might be OK at the very beginning but after only a few weeks it gets worse and worse and they start treating me badly and/or they just stop talking to me, even though I haven't done anything to them, at least nothing that I know of. I turned 25 recently and I decided to invite some people for my birthday drinks. It took me a long time to find the people that I could invite, not because I didn't want to see them at my birthday, but because I don't have so many friends and most of the contact numbers are either to my ex colleagues, with whom I'm not in touch anymore, or to some random people I met several times and that's all.

When I finally chose several people that I though might come, a lot of them haven't reply at all and a great percentage of those who did replayed that they can't come and that all. I also sent invitations to all my colleagues at work, over 30 in total, (I wanted to invite my colleagues as I have NO friends) and only 4 replied... guess what? That they already have other plans. I regret that I sent those invitations because I feel so stupid now, especially that everyone knows that none of them is coming... and they are laughing at me behind my back... but why? I never did anything wrong to them so why are they being mean to me? I feel so unpopular... well, I am unpopular and it hurts so much!

I'm having that meeting soon and I feel so embarrassed that I don't ant to go anymore. If I'm lucky, there will be 4, maybe 5 people and they don't know each other yet... but they all think that my "FRIENDS" will be there... but I have no friends and they will laugh at me too when they find it out It will be so humiliated to admit to everyone that no one like me and I have no friends! (those few who might come are only some people I know, I see them maybe 4 times a year, so they're NOT my friends).

What is wrong with me? What's the reason that people find pleasure seeing me suffer? Yes, I turned 25 and I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I have no idea how to handle this situation even tough I tried to change it so many times! I think I tried almost everything and nothing works for me. I also feel so emotionally weak Today I just couldn't hold it together anymore, I just came home and started was crying. I've really had enough of it, I can't life like this any longer! Please help! Share your thoughts if you can
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Nov 10, 2012
It also happened to me all the time since I was in high school. now I'm 25 and still feel the same way. I always think that people don't go all out on me. They're not trying to hurt me , but they also make me not to involve in an important situation. I work in a numbers of team. If there's something bad happen in that team, I feel that it blamed on me. I am the 1st target. I cant figure it out, why people act that way to me. I never try to do any harm things to them, never laugh at them when they're getting into trouble. But they do that things on me.. yeah.. sometimes shit happens.. and sometimes it happens all the times. Take it, learn and keep trying, only you can find the flow.. Sorry, I don't have any solutions and sorry for bad used of English .
PRR89 Aug 23, 2013
You present an lot of information on WHAT is happening but almost none that would provide a clue as to WHY. Very few people shun others without a reason. The key to changing your situation is to answer the question, why?

Maybe you're trying too hard. A person can be so friendly that people consider them obnoxious. They can be overly serious, argumentative, negative and depressing, a whiner, aggressive, judgmental; all kinds of things like that. The key is to figure out what's different about you and the popular people around you and change.
Rob
Answered Nov 10, 2012
There isn't anything wrong with you, I don't have any friends either and I was like you always trying to make friends and when I thought I found new friends after a month or so they stop wanting to hang out with me. I couldn't figure it out when I was your age, I am 50 years old now and you know what? I still don't have any friends. I was feeling depress all the time and I wanted to end my life and I even tried it once but I didn't die. One day I ask God why am I here when you know people don't like me I ask him what is my purpose in my life, well my answer came which was God had chose me to go through the hurt and pain of being lonely and being misunderstood, being abused, and being talk about and laugh at for no reason at all, even my own family hated me for no reason at all and as long as I thought about the negative part of my life I will always feel bad but I had to learn to turn it around to a positive, this means I had to learn to love myself and I had to tell myself there isn't anything wrong with me and God wants me to help others who may be going through something that is making them feel the same as I did, I use to say this "out of all of the people in this world there isn't one person I can call my friend" followed by saying this is sad followed by crying followed by depression followed by suicidal thoughts. you see I had to go through this to be able to carry out God's will because he wanted me to help people that is feeling lonely, or unwanted, or feeling like nobody loves them, or to help someone that's feeling depress or feeling suicidal. Just remember you are special because you were chosen by God to be used for his glory. He gave us the gift to minister to people. The reason we can't have friends is the friends we choose are doing things of the world so he protects you and I and he separates us from them. So please stop crying and stop letting the devil beat you up or confusing you, and be glad you were chose by the chosen one which is God. I hope I said something to help you.
sonea0000
Answered Apr 30, 2013
Well said. I have asked God to show me what I am supposed to be doing since friends, family, co-workers, bosses and just every day people seem to shun me. I reach out, I offer my help, I lend an ear, I am first to remember birthdays and such but never receive the same in turn. So I have to learn to be strong, be comfortable with me in my own skin and continue to look at the positives. It really hits me when I am home and hear the neighbors at cook-out or play, when I go on Facebook and see people who are mutual "friends" of mine have gotten together for an event, and didn't invite me, or being introduced to my husbands' family and not one, not a single one, has ever called here and said "Hi, How are you today and would you like to come over?" I pick up the phone and they say, hi, can I speak to (husband) or will you tell him(message). We have more than 7 yrs together. Turn to God & self.
Been thinking about this lately...having a very long dry spell for friends myself idk whats up but the sadder I get the worse it gets. Most were fair weather types so when life got hard for methey kept their distance, this is dissappointing some of them I stuck by during their greatest trials soooo it felt so unfair. Truth is I think that I may have had too high expectations and turned from them in a resentful way. I had way more friends when I had no expectations and just accepted whatever people could give. I try to have a greatful heart and positive outlook but it does get rough sometimes.Hope life picks up and you find good loving people to hangout with. God bless
skval1
Answered Jun 13, 2013
im 19 but you sound exactly like me.always been this way since I can remember I guess it just feels worse as you grow up it bothers you more and still you feel like a people repelant smh and the person who said God has a reason for it,it still doesnt make it feel better
mimimimi
Answered Jun 20, 2013
Edited Jun 20, 2013
I felt the same way but now I realize that if I have no friends its because they weren't the ones god chose to be in my life. So don`t feel depressed sad ;like your not important because you are a matter a fact is that in GOD`s eyes you are nothing but important and that goes to everyone no body in this world is worthless because if you were then you wouldn`t be here so remember God loves you and made you because he has a mission for you in this world, and I leave you with a bible verse :)
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
miomomo
Answered Jul 04, 2013
i have also no friends. But my situation is is little different. I dont want to spend time with friends for long time. ijust enjoy to stay alone. but it is hard to find lonely time among peoples. I am 25 and have lazy eye. so usually people dont want to talk to me. but they act like nothing and behaves well, but I know they dont like me. there are only few peoples, mostly relatives, who are very supportive to me. I am very aggressive sometimes, so people usually avoid me. I just want friends when I need something to do which icannt do alone. I have been living lonely life without friends for the last 9 years.
eaglesmile
Answered Jul 05, 2013
There is a reason why people like us don't have friends. We need to find out why. Do you complain? Are you a negative person? Do you feel that what you do is never reciprocated.

To those turning to The Diety to solve their problems, with all due respect get real. IF THERE IS AN ALM-IGHTY OMNIPRESENT BEING, he or she doesn't worry about whether you have friends, or what the score of a game is. He or She does not put people on Earth to suffer.

Maybe this type of thinking tends to make those of you seem a bit odd.

Some folks have the gift, and others like us just project a negative vibe that we probably cannot control.

Perhaps a support group should be established for all the folks with these feelings, then maybe we could find out how to better adjust. It would be interesting to see if a group of us could become friendly.
Rudster
Answered Jul 11, 2013
People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I have always let people be rude and unkind to me without answering back as I don't want to upset them. That has been my mistake and still is, I think I lack self confidence. I get on better with polite quiet people who don't take advantage of others so maybe you should try that too. It's always a challenge to try and get popular people to be your friends but these people prefer other popular people so search for possible friends who have a similar personality to you and you will feel better about yourself.
sadiepetra
Answered Aug 26, 2013
There is a guy, 29 years old, still kinda unsettled, single, have less friends, and previously had the same kind of feeling, felt depressed, betrayed in love, and still sometimes future seems uncertain, but he has now quite become indifferent towards 'what will happen' coz he knows that what is destined to happen, will surely happen, and it surely has some good hidden inside it. He used to feel bad, but now try to smile and give smile and keep in touch with old friends.. People around him are earning a handsome money, employed in various great companies, and most of them married, even younger than him, and even have a child or two.. That person is the one writing this note.. yes, me. What do you think I may have been going though? But still I feel that God has something really great in store for me, and I am trying to do my best.. You can try making an account in any of social networking sites, like facebook, and add some people there, or go out in your work and just try interacting with new people, just casual talks, try knowing other person's interests and actively participate in the conversation related to them.. Surely your popularity will increase, and so your no of friends will increase..
rishhk
Answered Sep 01, 2013
I have always been the same way. Commenters who encourage you to dig deep and figure out why you are incapable of making/keeping friends just don't get it. I am sure you have lost many nights' sleep trying to dissect and analyze your faults and character. I thought it would be better for me when I started studing what I wanted to study in college--that I would be around people with similar interests and all--but it actually got worse and I look back on my time with those people as one of the saddest times in my life. The most practical advice I can give you is to take a good personality test (like Meyers-Briggs), aand find other people of your exact personality to hang out with. Personality Cafe is a good place to start. One thing I have noticed is that the "popular" people are almost always shllow, self-centered, and boring. The advice I was given my whole life about trying to be interested in other people and "be a friend to have one" just doesn't work. It either encourages people to talk about themselves incessantly or creates an artificial kind of relationship that neither party wishes to pursue after awhile. You can't "force" a friendship by behaving (or not behaving) a certain way. There are 7 billion people in the world, and someone, somewhere, would "get" you if they had the chance. Truth is, you may never meet that person, but I find comfort knowing he or she is out there.
Simone123
Answered Nov 21, 2013
Ii think all those who don't have friends are introvert. I am in high school and I don't have any friends.at first I had difficulties...I always keep on thinking that why I don't have friends... whenever there is a group activity none of them want me in their group.They only talk to me when they need something from me. But now everything is different I don't care what people thing about me I am happy alone if you have friends who laugh on you it means they're not your true friends..... having friends like them its better not to have any friends... All of your depression will go away when you will start loving yourself.
kkiirrttyyyyy
Answered Feb 07, 2014
Edited Feb 07, 2014

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