I do this for my own sake, for my own happiness. I will be happier if I'm dead than staying in this world.
I do care about my family, but this is just too painful. I prefer to hurt them. I know it hurt my family... but I just want to end this....
I know cyanide poisoning from google, but it is hard to find, and even if a pharmacy have it, they won't sell it. I'm willing to commit bad things like stealing but, I don't know how cyanide looks like.
So, I need an alternative. I don't care if it is painful. I no longer care. But I need something that will make sure I will die and.... no one will know that I died because I killed myself.
I live in Asia, and things probably so different here. I need to know where I can get things that will kill me, yet no one will notice that die killing myself...
I'm sick of this beautiful lie, I prefer the painful truth :P
Edit: Oh I'm 21 and I have had enough beautiful time.
Someone gave me happiness, but the's also the reason why I want to die now. That is the only time when I really feel happiness.
Edit: I would shot myself if I can, but u wont be able to get ur hand on a gun here.