Cheating my boyfriend of 3 years

Hi, I have been in a relation ship from last 3 years with my guy who is a capricorn and I am a taurus as they say we are soulmates,he is the best I can get, he loves me and I love him very much. he shares everything with me but I hesitate a bit as there are things I don wanna tel him abt me.yes I have cheated on him once in past with a guy though I jus kissed him which I realised at tat very moment that it was wrong.now there is a guy I had a huge crush in college and he is back in my life after 5 years, that tym he wasnt interested in havin a relation ship with anyone and now he is all over me.he treats me with luv,he is a leo who are not so very comfortable to share their feelings with anyone but he did al this for me.i am the first gal he ever sought so much, wel I went to his place this weekend and we kissed and now I am thinkin m I realy in luv with my guy as I cheated on him twice.he is away from me from last 2 months and coming to be with me next month.point is I know m a bad person but whnever he is not around me,y do I cheat him.last tym also when I cheated on him,he was not around for 2 months and this is not the first tym I am doing this in a relationship,i had a boyfren before my present guy for 6 years and I cheated on him also.what is wrong with me...can I never be committed?can I never get married? Pls help

It sounds like you're looking for gratification and validation from other people. When your boyfriend isn't there to validate you, you look around for a substitute.

It's not anyone else's responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. That's your responsibility. That's why it's call "self-esteem." It's the esteem you hold for yourself. Certainly, no one has the right to mistreat you, but no one is responsible for making you feel good.

I would recommend that you work on that before you even think about marriage. It takes a lot of work to nurture a good marriage, and even the best marriages have difficulties. If your marriage becomes difficult and you look for someone else to validate you the way your husband does, then you'll be headed for even bigger trouble.

Cheating is an act of selfishness. Most people who want it all end up with nothing.

Listen to skyDancer.

It seems that you need to be loved and if he leaves you havta substitute and rob that was rude we are trying to help