Should I be jealous that my boyfriend is mainly hanging out with girls?

About a week ago my boyfriend moved to San Antonio for college. I understand that he's not texting me so often because of classes and stuff but he's always hanging out with friends and claims he doesn't have enough time to be callin or texting me ..so he takes forever to text ..like 30minutes. When he does call me he like tries to end the convo short so he can go with his friends. He just barely told me that the friends he's been hanging out with this whole time are actually girls. I'm pretty mad right now the jealousy is killing me. Do I have a right to be mad?
UnknownRainFall
Asked Aug 26, 2012
To be jealous is not the point, u must insure if he like u and just try to make u like that, so he react as if he has other friends then u'll find in reality no change in his way of talking to u,

If there is a change then there is something, how do he look at them? and who r they to him really?is it related to his study as friendship or different ?!

Tell him u want to c his G.friends, because u r going n a visit to the area he is in (don't tell "I'm investigating"), and c what u'll find?
My4649
Answered Aug 26, 2012
Here's the thing about long distance relationships: either you trust him, or you don't. If you can't trust him when he's out of sight and with other girls, then your relationship isn't going to last.

Another thing is you might want to take a realistic look at your expectations. You aren't the center of his world, nor should you be... and he shouldn't be the center of yours. He isn't obligated to return your texts in the time frame YOU think he should. He has the right to decide when and if he communicates with you. 30 minutes isn't so unreasonable. He isn't at your beck and call.

You have to understand that going away to college is a major transformative moment in a person's life. He's exploring and enjoying his new found freedom from his parents, and he has every right to do that.

As for the jealousy... Whether or not you have the right to be jealous isn't the point. The point is jealousy is gonna hurt you a lot more than him. If you get on his back repeatedly, then your jealousy is going to drive him away -- he's already around plenty of girls who aren't nagging him.

Also, if you feel he's wantonly disregarding your feelings, then he's not the guy for you.

Ultimately, YOU have to decide how you want to feel. Do you like feeling jealous? Of course not... So find something else to do besides obsess over him. YOU can be busy and fulfilled enough that it takes you 30 minutes to return his texts. YOU can have enough going on so that you don't even KNOW that it's taken him 30 minutes to get back to you. If he's moving on with his life, there's no reason why you can't as well. If you can't be happy for him and understand that his life has just changed, then it looks doubtful that you can continue to be happy while being a part of it.
skyDancer
Answered Aug 26, 2012

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