Should I leave my baby's father

My partner and I have been together for just over two years, have a 9 month old daughter and live in the UK (he is English). Our relationship was pretty rocky at the start, much better at the time we decided to have a baby, a bit rocky while I was pregnant and now its all over the show.

I am from Australia and all my family and close friends are there. His family are here but they are not close and we hardly ever see them. Until recently he had always said he was 100% keen to emmigrate out with me and at that time we were planning to go soon after he became eligible for an Australian visa in April this year.

I didn't really want to have a baby in the UK but we really wanted kids together and because he is 46 (14 years older than me) we thought it would take a while to get pregnant so we decided to start trying. As it turned out I got pregnant almost straight away. We agreed that we would have our baby here and move home before her first birthday so that I could be a stay at home mum to her (for my own visa reasons I have to go back to work at the end of my maternity leave or I can't stay in the UK).

I find being in the UK with a new baby incredibly lonely - I have an amazing family and loads of wonderful friends there but have really struggled to establish a support network here - and can't wait to move home. Because he really doesn't like his mother I don't even have in-laws for company/advice/help. The one thing I have always clung to is that we will be moving home soon.

Now he says he does not really love me and that he is not going to move to Australia. He understands that I don't want to stay - especially as I have already given up one opportunity for us all to move home to give him more time to get used to the ides and detach himself from things here. So he has given me two choices- 1. take my daughter home alone; or 2. stay here and pretend we are together and that everything is ok for her sake.

I know he is clinically depressed at the moment and have tried to get him to seek help, which he says he will do. What should I do? Is it fair to take my daughter away from her Daddy (he is a good daddy)?

You have to decide whether you're willing to remain in your current situation so your daughter can have a relationship with her daddy and he has to decide whether what's holding him in the UK is worth losing his relationship with his daughter.

"Clinical depression" doesn't sound like he's happy where he is. If he has no relationship with his family, there has to be something that's holding him in the UK. That's the key to this dilemma. What is it?

I don't see how #2 is a viable option. Pretending everything is ok doesn't work. Couples who "stay together for the kids" usually are miserable, and the kids inevitably pick up on the tension. Plus, what would your daughter's life be like if she's reared without the support and love of an extended family/support network?

Maybe there are other options that could make #1 somewhat workable, although certainly not ideal... Could the two of you jointly pay for airfare to/from Australia? Or video chat so your daughter can see/hear him? Maybe 1 won't work so well, but what about 1.4?

stay toether for the kids when they get older things are going to be if there dad is not there

A good family network is important to a child. Not just parents, but grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are important too. They need to know that sever. People love and support them. If moving home to be with family makes you happy, it might make her happy. Babies and kids can tell when something is wrong. Just don't push him completely off of the table. Let him come see her whenever he can, and when she starts asking questions about her dad be open and honest with her. Then you have to support her decision in what she wants. But by then she will be much older.