What is so bad with a 13 (almost 14) year old and 19 year old dating?

So I have been reading online about 13/ 14 year olds dating and some people have a total thing against it while others dont. In some ways I totally understand that, a 19 year old may try to force sex on a 14 year old then they coould go to jail. But really the guy I like(I think he likes me back) wont do that. We are both christian, so I dought that he will do anything bad. Also, I would never use him to give me drugs or cigs. So what would be so bad with us daiting?
Sarah98
Asked May 21, 2012
It's not about good or bad, it's about illegal. The law considers a 14 year old too inexperienced to make good choices about dating and sex therefore, they can easily be taken advantage of by an adult.

Ask any adult if they feel they knew enough to make good dating choices when they were 13-14 years old. When you become 20 you will feel the same way. Don't try to jump over the most important learning and development period of your life. Use those years to become smarter and you will benefit greatly.
Rob
Answered May 22, 2012
I see where you are coming from, but I am 25 and still think the same as 15 or so. I just learned more and grew. Some people do not change their beliefs. I didn't but it took me this long and messing up so much to get the right one. so yeah but good answer
I've always held the opposite view. I've always wondered what was going on in the mind of the child and the adult to make them think it was a safe thing to do.

If he's so Christian, why does he want to break the law? If he's so Christian, why is he acting like a pedophile? It doesn't make sense.

I agree with what Rob said.
skyDancer
Answered May 24, 2012
I'm sorry but I don't think you get it. He if we started to date it wouldn't be ileagle (at least where we live). It would only be ileagle if we had sex.
Sarah98 May 24, 2012
What you call "dating" the courts call "soliciting a minor" which is a crime.
You two should both understand the legal ramifications of what you're considering, and it sounds like you don't. The law would look at him as a predator and you as the prey. Judges are rarely lenient in this kind of case because they risk political backlash for going easy on pedophiles. All of this is a risky business that could potentially land him in jail depending on how this thing plays out. Depending on where you live, your parents could also be charged with a form of child abuse/neglect if they were aware of the relationship and didn't intervene or report him. You could be removed from your home. The consequences of this "relationship" are severe.

I'm sure it's hard to see when you're "blinded by love," but this can go sooo bad in so many ways. As the saying goes, if you really love him, let him go.
You are right it not illegal it is just the age dif that may make it fell a little wierd
First of all what law is he breaking? none! dating or courting(hanging out) is not a crime, second of all if the bible and Jesus don't condemn pedophilia why should you? you're the only one that doesn't make any sense, stop your twisting the law out of reality by exaggerating and letting your own personal opinions get in the way of what should be some accurate advise for this question, dating is nothing more then spending time together publicly to get to know a person it's not a sexual act. here is the legal definition of "soliciting a minor" (Solicitation of a minor involves a defendant asking or engaging in a conversation with a minor and during the course of that conversation, the defendant asks (or solicits) the minor to meet them for the purpose of engaging in a sexual act.) there I hope that this clears up any of the misinformations that you've be spreading around.


Back in history older men were always with younger girls.
Ex: a 50 years old with a 14 yo or whatever.

I am not sure but most young people are not really mature enough for relationships.

I am not really sure about it, if I was you to be on the safe side not to get him into trouble, I would just be his friend and if it is true love it will work out. I would try to date guys your age because of the laws.

People have everything messed now a days and you have to be careful.
mysteryshepherd
Answered May 21, 2012
i guess its okayyy if you both really like each other its just that sometimes older people may pressure younger people in to
things they dont want to do
cookie_cakes
Answered May 23, 2012
Edited May 24, 2012
Don't go out wiv a 19yr old he may seem nice but they change yes they do .... Be their done that. Big mistake .......x
Flora
Answered May 24, 2012
If there is anything sexual between you two its illegal. Also, this person is an adult, you are still a child. you are still growing and developing and learning. This person is done with that. You still have so much more to achieve, learn and understand.

Enjoy being a kid for once. YOu still have a childhood to fufill.
elle_is_me
Answered Oct 20, 2012
if u like that guy and he also like you then no matter nothing will happen wrong if you have true feelings for each other......
heidisteen33
Answered Jun 12, 2013
1) Confirm that he likes you back. You said you think he does, but that may not be the case. When guys meet girls they think are too young/unsuitable for dating, they might subconsciously act more affectionate because he's relaxed around you etc.
2) Please, please, please consider the matter of legality. True, it's not illegal to date him, but you yourself said it would be illegal to have sex with him. You may not think that you need sex, but he's a boy, and he's 19 years old. And 19 year old boys tend to have needs. Do you really think he'd be able to go two/three years without sex? Of course that is possible, but that is something he has to consider.
3) This is just some food for thought: If he does say he like you, maybe you should consider how truthful he is being, and whether he is just using you, or whether he has a hidden purpose. He may be Christian, but there are some who are misguided etc. Would a 19 year old really take a 14 year old seriously? Would you take someone who is 5 years younger than you (9?!?!) seriously? It's not exactly the same in terms of maturity level (and it's even more inappropriate), but seeing as both of you are quite young (yes, even him), this can be applicable.
CRedwood
Answered Jun 12, 2013
I don't see how its wrong. If she likes the guy, yea they might have an age difference but does age really matter? I would say try talking to him and see if is a keeper or just a passer byer. But I really don't see the problem?
Demistar
Answered Jun 22, 2013
i agree with rob. but when you are 19 you will understand. im assuming youre about fourteen or so right now, so imagine dating someone 4 or 5 years younger than you. that difference in maturity is enormous. it is the same for a 19 to 14 difference, although sometimes it is harder to notice if the 14 year old is very developed
aberri123
Answered Jun 29, 2013
I'm in the same situation Sarah98... :/ it's a tough situation :/
Heather13
Answered Jul 09, 2013
Hey don't feel bad doll, my boyfriend is 18. Lol. As you see in my picture. But if you're happy stick your middle fingers up at the haters and say we don't give a fuck. Age is just a number, and if love has no "Gender" like most people are for, it shouldn't have a age! So it's not bad, but stay happy! And don't listen to te bitches saying it aint right! You both are Christian, and I'm sure you love god. You two will work if he likes you back.(: hope it helps darling.(:
Remember god just said gender not age or weight or height.
Kinz_Michael
Answered Jul 11, 2013
The bible and laws r separate for a reason the bible aint got nothing to do with the laws or the parents
Look its legal as long as you two don't have sex till your of age I'm a lawyer
lawman55
Answered Dec 02, 2013
Ok but it can lead to other drama
The truth is there maybe nothing bad or good about a 13 year old dating a 19 year old, in fact it all has to do with each and everyone's personal and individual attitude towards this kind of relationship, it's only bad for those people who believe it is bad, but for those people who don't see it as something bad, then it becomes acceptable and not considered bad.

And that is where your personal individual opinion comes into play as far as accepting or challenging and changing the attitude of societal rule and laws. and as far as a 19 year old forcing a 14 year old into sex, it is just as probable for a 14 year old to force a 19 year old into sex or a 14 year old forcing a 30 year old into sex and we know such incidents of rape, molestations and sexual harassment, where the perpetrator is younger then the victim and this is true on a daily basics as reported form local news everyday.

But like I said this is nothing but an attitude issue.

Suomynona
Answered Oct 07, 2015
I dated a 19 year old when I was ten or so I'm 14 now and I regret everything he took my virginity made me sleep with other guys forced me to get drunk and I thought I loved him and he loved me back and then I accedently left a camera recording and what I found on there was him having sex with 14 other girls my age
aperson
Answered Oct 08, 2015
You may have started out dating but at some point you chose to go or he forced you to go beyond the dating relationship. real dating is not a sexual relationship it is more of a hanging out in a public social setting getting to know each other...
Nobody that Is under the age of 18 should be with somebody that is 18 or older that y laws and religion r separate from each other
Don't date. You'll regret it later, trust me. But of course, teenagers these days won't listen. *rolls eyes*
rosesanchez
Answered Sep 22, 2017
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Answered Feb 03, 2019
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sabreen
Answered Feb 07, 2019
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theawsomedude99
Answered Jun 12, 2013
i totally agree with you :)
That's what I'm saying.... Live and let Live! these people who involve themselves in others personal business thinking they can change peoples minds would live a less stressful and less hateful life if only they'd mind their own business..

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