Hi. Im not even sure what to say right now so I guess I'll start with my problem. I'm 16 almost 17 I don't go to school and I dont have a job. I have major depression bipolar disorder, insomnia and social anxiety, which is why I don't go to school. I could never even muster up the courage to go cause everybody thought I was such a loser I would get the same looks everyday. Then I wasn't taking medication but now I am. Even though my pills are seeming to work which is why I'm here. I wake up extremely tired everyday thinking how much of a loser I am and how I should just put the gun to my head. My mom had slightly the same illnesses but all she does is beak at me for not being good enough and how my sister could do everything I couldn't. I have a stepfather who constantly yells at my mom and makes fun of her but of course I can't say anything cause he thinks I shouldn't have a day in anything. I only have a couple friends and I don't get out much, and being the person that I am I always compare myself to better people. I can't get over this I feel like I can't be a functioning member of society and that I'll always be loser. I'm about to get kicked out in more than a week and all I can think about is why they didn't just do it before. I just want help, I don't want to live on the street, I want to have a life but I'm so self-destructive that nobody wants anything to do with me. I've tried counciling also but there just a bunch of assholes who only care about their money and just sat there while I stared at them. I want help instead of being this dysfunctional loser. Last thing I'll add before I leave is that it really started to go downhill when one of my best friend died of ecstasy overdose. I still miss him and with his one year anniversary coming up I feel more useless than ever. The meds I am on are serequel XR and zopiclone
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