Does my cousin have a mental disorder?

I came to housesit for my cousin's family while they were on vacation. The 2 story house was an absolute disaster from top to bottom. It took an entire month to clean every room because I can't live like that. Finally they were due to return from vacation. She didn't tell me that she was sending her husband and handicapped child back from vacation first and that she wanted me to take care of her. Well of course I love their kids, so I did. Then when she comes home with her son, she's jetlagged, so she asks me to get them ready for school in the morning. I guess she never got over jetlag, because now she wants me to get them ready every morning. Her husband works all day while she shops and stays on facebook. She pays a friend to pick up the kids from school and help them with homework. Whatever the friend doesn't get to I end up finishing because their mother doesn't have the patience to help them with homework. Since no one cleans up, I end up doing it. The only thing she manages to do is cook dinner, and sometimes I do that too. When I told her and her husband I was going home (obviously this hasn't been a happy visit for me), she got upset and said she didn't know what she'd do because no one ever helps her. The real kicker is that when friends come over she paints herself as a victim and tells them neither her husband nor I ever help her. Then she cons them into doing more chores around the house because they feel sorry for her. I try to help her out because she's been sick the past few days, but the minute you disagree with her or don't do exactly what she says, she hates you and forgets everything positive you've ever done for her. I love the kids, they're the reason I came in the first place. But I also feel sorry for them. She trash talks her husband in front of people all the time, but he doesn't say mean things about her in front of others even though he could. So I feel sorry for him too.

I've tried to analyze her personality. She's very smart and loving, but she just can't manage/clean a household or discipline and teach her kids. She's content living in filth and buying stuff while others care for her family. I'm leaving soon and I'm counting down the days. I must admit, overhearing her talk about me behind my back after doing so much for her kinda ticked me off. In the house she begs me to stay, but outside the house she tells people she can't wait for me to leave. I don't plan on mentioning this because 1. I want to leave peacefully, and 2. I think she must have some sort of disorder. As unbelievable as it may sound, none of this is made up, she really is this way. I'm out of here, but I think I would feel better about the situation if I could understand the logic behind her actions.

What do you think is wrong with her?
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Jan 24, 2012
There's no logic to crazy, so you CAN'T figure it out. I've learned the hard way that when you try to figure out crazy, it just makes YOU crazy.

Whether or not she's clinically mentally ill is irrelevant; she's obviously irrational and manipulative.

Just leave when you can and cut ties with her so you don't get dragged back into her world. If you believe the children are in danger, contact social services.
Answered Jan 24, 2012
I do not think that she has a disorder. If she were to have a mental disorder then she would acting weird and saying things that seem out of place. It does seem from your description that she is doing that but it seems more like she is strageticly doing this just to make herself look as if she is the worst off person in the world. When she tells people that you are a pain and wish that you would go away, she is trying to say that she has annoying reletives. when she chews out her husband in public, she is trying to make it seem like she is married to an idiot. When she tells people that you and her husband never do any work around the house she is trying to make it look like she is alone and stuck with loads of work. It does not seem like she has a disorder but more that she is just trying to make herself feel poor, and make others think that she is poor.
Answered Jan 24, 2012
I agree that you shouldnt try to figure it out. Dont let her issues become your issues. Just get out. She is clearly not well.
Answered Jan 24, 2012

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