My wife had sex with my cousin before we met. Is it ok that I am so devestated over it?

My wife and I were at a family gathering yesterday and I introduced her to my cousin. They said they had met before at some party, but they were both acting really awkward and my cousin tried to excuse himself from the conversation. He stayed away from us the rest of the night. I asked my wife about it later, and she got really nervous. I knew something was up and then she told me that she met him at a party 5 years ago, got drunk, went home with him and had sex. They had sex a few more times after that, but no relationship. I was really mad at her at first, but I feel bad now cause I know it was before we met and she feels awful about it and is really embarassed. I know she has had sex with other men before me, and I accept that, but finding out she had sex with my cousin was devastating. I think the fact that it was a casual thing made it hurt even worse, and now I can't get the image of my cousin banging my wife out of my head. Is it normal for me to be absolutely devestated over this? Just wondering how others would feel if it happened to you.

If you knew she had sex before, the only revelation in this was that one of them was your cousin. There was no way back then that she could have known where it was headed. There's no reason for either of you to make it into a big deal. This has the potential for growing into a bigger problem. Avoid all of the curiosity questions like, "Was he better than me?" and move on.

If it was during your marriage I could understand getting upset, but she didn't even know you existed when she was with him. I can understand never telling you before because it would just upset you for no good reason... like now. She married you. Be happy with that. It seems like neither of them wants to hurt you.

I think that your being upset is understandable and a natural instinct. But it is in the past and no longer a factor at all. Forget about it. It is not important. There are many other things to be upset about, like the government.

Yeah, what they said. Let it slide. Do not ask any questions. If she's faithful to you, she doesnt deserve to be punished for what she did before you to got together.

Im going threw this same situation and im so hurt and confused. I cant get the thought of a family member that I will be in contact with for the rest of my life having sex with the women im in love with.. What if the whole family found out? I love her and I dont want others looking down on her for something she did before we met? Im not mad at her im just very heart broken and im not sure if our relationship will ever be the same.. What do I do now? I want to get over it an move on but I cant...