What do you do when you can't make the pain stop?

I'm not asking to hear about rainbows, and sunshine, and suicide isn't the answer. I've been in emotional pain for about 5 years. Daily. I've lost so much. I feel so alone. I don't even really feel "alive" anymore. I have no one to talk to. My friends are gone. My family causes me so much pain. I've been trying to believe the whole "it'll get better" bit. Really, everyday gets worse. I have nothing to look forward to. It feels like everything is slipping away and my financial and relationship problems are just in such a shambles. I can't fix either one. I love my boyfriend, but he feels so far away even though we are under the same roof. He won't help me. He won't look for work. That's not fair, but I don't want to put him on the streets. He won't touch me. We haven't had sex in two years. I know he's not cheating because he never leaves the house and can't afford another woman. I don't know what I'm getting out of this relationship. The man I loved is gone. I don't understand why I'm suffering like this, or how to make it stop. After five years of trying everything I know to do, I just dont think things will get better. I was supposed to be the perfect one, but I failed miserably. I can't afford therapy or meds, and neither worked before. I can't take much more of this. I don't want to take much more of this. I don't know what else to do. What do you do when you can't make the pain stop?

Deja vu from last summer?

The same input produces the same results. You can't complain about your boyfriend if you're unwilling to put him out. Not an easy solution but that's the answer. The reality is, when you can't/don't change what's causing the pain, you continue living with it.