****ed up world?

Okay first to clear 2 things, first I'm a Muslim and watching porn is forbidden in our religion, secondly I'm just 15 year old so I would like you to excuse me.

Let me start my story, my so-be-called father filled my family with bull**** about me being depressed and they brought me a doctor.
He just thinks I'm depressed because I treat him very badly, you may ask why. I got plenty of reasons let me state some.
1- He doesn't care about me nor my brothers all he cares about is his wife and having sex.
2- He only married my so-be-called mother (which she is probably a slut) because he just wanted to have sex obviously.
3- He walks half naked inside the house.
4- He never gave me real advices about my life and when he does it is just as fake as his face.
Not to mention how he cooks the food, and I'm the one who suffers from that, all my friends making fun of me because I'm very thin and weak.
I still got a lot to go but just let's say this is enough for now.
I caughted my father watching pornographic videos many times, and his computer is full of it, I also have seen my grand father watching pornographic videos too. But this is a lot after knowing the only person I loved in my life (my grand mother) watches porn too LOLLLL. I checked her laptop browsing history and I founded some porn videos. LIKE REALLY WHAT THE HELL WHY IS THIS ALL HAPPENING TO ME ?
Let's now check my so-be-called mother, she child abused my brother and now he is mentally ill, and I'm suffering from maladaptive day dreaming because of her abuse.
I'm constantly thinking about committing suicide I keep getting this thoughts. I'm taking some pills but they doesn't help me at all. My social life is now falling apart and I'm failing at school. Everything is tasteless right now.

While it is understandable that you're concerned with what others in your family are doing, none of those things will affect you as an adult unless you allow it. You have no control over what they do, your control is over what YOU do.

The critical thing for you is to make sure you don't let their behavior define who you are. I know it seems like your entire life is in that house right now, but it isn't. In a very few years you will be on your own and have 50-60 years left where you will be responsible for everything that happens to you. All you have to do now is accept them for who and what they are and go to work on YOUR future. Get your grades up. Learn some skills and make your life about who YOU are.

I admire you for recognizing what's wrong, my concern is your reaction to it. Learn from what they're doing so you're kids don't have the same experience when you have them.

One side of my family is Muslim and the other is Hindi. Both sides are just humans. Cut your family some slack with the porn. They aren't perfect. You have no right to expect them to be perfect. Their spiritual relationships aren't your businesss. Just take care of yours. Just be the person you think you're supposed to be. If you donnot think about who they're supposed to be, maybe the problem won't seem so big.

There is never any justification in treating others badly. You don't have to let others treat you badly, although. Sometimes I still have trouble with English, but I want to say something like their porn watching and you treating people badly are both bad things so no one can judge the other. Hope that made sense.

For the things faling apart / suicide / failing, I'm the last person who would have good answers on that, unfortunately. You aren't alone in your pain. Hopefully, it will get better for you. Things do get better for most people because they learn how to make them better. Listen to Rob.

It sounds like you're going through a lot of trouble. I'm sorry that's happening.

The only thing you can do right now is figure out how to get through it in one piece. Right now, you are dependent on them for shelter and food (unless you have somewhere else to go). So, the best thing you can do is study hard so you can get into college. That'll get you out of their house and set you on a career path so you can take care of yourself.

No, you can't just flip a switch and not care what's happening to you. The thing is you do sound depressed. People who aren't depressed usually don't contemplate suicide. All you can do is just try your best to survive your family long enough to take care of yourself. Rob is right; you still have your whole life ahead of you. I know it's difficult to imagine now, but if you can look at this as a challenge you can overcome you'll increase your chances of making it out, healing, and living a happier life as an adult.

In the meantime, you need someone to talk to who can help you cope with what's happening to you. Can you talk to a guidance counselor or another trusted adult? Or try a crisis line? What you're dealing with is obviously difficult for you, so you need to find support. Try thinking about something you can be grateful for every day. I just adopted children who were being abused and neglected, and that's one of the exercises their counselors suggested. Its one of the things that seems to be helping them to be happy about the future and help them not focus on how much their past has hurt them.

I wish the best for you.

Well, first I have to say that is neat your "Muslim" never talked to one before. Maybe you can in site me on some of their beliefs, if you want too. Just comment on something of mine.

As for me, I would look at what I can change. Go from there and change what can be done.
Than the things you can not change, you can try to seek outside help for the problems, however, I would be careful.

Ignore what people say, because people will talk about you no matter what. If your doing good or bad. Just learn like Rob says. Hope I helped some.