Why does he keep asking me out and then says he doesn't have time? (casual sex)

So there's that guy I met once and now we keep texting a lot. (We weren't talking a lot when we met though). We both are not interested in a relationship but we want to have casual sex. The only problem is, that he always asks me if we wanna meet for sex,we chose a day, then he backs out by having a cheap excuse. He is always the one asking for sex, it's not me (I kinda just trigger it). Why does he keep saying he doesn't have time then? Why does he keep asking me if I wanted to meet him then?
He is definitely NOT a shy person, so there's actually no reason for him to be afraid or nervous ...he also gets a lot of girls to sleep with him according to what he told me, I have no proof though.
Another problem is: The only thing we really text about is sex. He never answers any other questions I ask, like what he's doing right now,...etc. Also, he takes really long to respond to my text messages most of the time or doesn't respond at all sometimes and I'm sure he does check his phone at least every hour. Is there a reason he doesn't reply faster? Is it a thing guys do to keep girls interested? It's mostly me who texts him first and I kinda feel a bit awkward texting him so much...I don't want to annoy him..
meganww9
Asked Jan 02, 2012
You are willing for him to use you and at the same time you're complaining about being used. That's like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer and complaining that your head hurts. :-)

Rob
Answered Jan 02, 2012
im not complaining about being used. im asking myself why he keeps saying no after HIM ASKING ME.i actually want to have sex with him.
What Rob says makes perfect sense. You're saying you're willing to be in an arrangement with this guy when you KNOW you aren't a priority in his life, yet you're voicing being bothered when he shows you that he'll put many things before respecting you and your time. So are you ok with hitting yourself in the head with the hammer, or would you rather your head stops hurting? He's showing you that you can't have both.
It sounds to me like you're his default. When he has nothing else to do... If you're willing to accept that arrangement, that's your business but you shouldn't be surprised that a guy would be willing to enjoy all the assets without suffering any of the liabilities. The world's full of guys that would appeal to. When there are no strings attached, there's nothing to hold it together. If you want to move up his list of priorities, attach some strings to your relationship.
Rob Jan 02, 2012
It sounds like you feel disrespected. You say, "I don't want to annoy him," but *you* sound quite bothered. It's as if you're starting to put his feelings above your own. Casual or not, you have to decide if you want to be in any kind of "relationship" with someone when it makes you feel like this. Plus, the point of having a fwb instead of a bf is that you get to avoid the emotional crap.

I say don't text him anymore. Walk away and find what you need elsewhere. What's the point of having emotional crap with an fwb without the sex?
skyDancer
Answered Jan 02, 2012
And just to be clear, he's blowing you off because you aren't a priority, and he doesn't respect you or your time. He's continuing to blow you off because you allow it.
wow that just really made sense and opened my eyes :/ maybe I actually started to have feelings for him. gosh this sucks tbh^^
i really like talking/ texting him though...not sure if I can just stop texting him. :/
Then, to borrow a line from Rob, that's like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer and complaining that your head hurts. Don't text him. You deserve better treatment, even from an fwb. You can find better. Really. Cut your losses. If you feel bad already, it's just going to go downhill from here.
And he's showing you there's no possibility of something more if he can't even be a respectful fwb, so there's really no point in pursuing this any further. To borrow another line from one of my friends: Don't be that girl!
okay. thank you so much!!!! its gonna be really hard though.
It sounds like he is playing games,
Maybe he has some kind mental disorder.
That is strange, but yeah everyone is right here.
So go about your own way and drop him.
mysteryshepherd
Answered Jan 02, 2012

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