I don't know if I can take this anymore.

I am 15 years old and I have been confused about my sexuality for about 2-3 years now. When I was younger I was always crushing on boys but I've always noticed girls too, lately I have had two major crushes on two girls one left for university, she was 18 I was 14 at the time, and the other was my music teacher, she left too.I just don't see myself with boys anymore but I can't see myself with girls long term. I need some help I need a label for myself and I know that sounds silly but I have always needed a label to know where I belong. I am so confused and I feel like I need closure with this and I tried to see a therapist about it and when I started asking if there was any possibility that I could have HOCD the therapist then assumed I was a lesbian. I then went to another counsellor for my confidence issues and I said every now and again I feel masculine because my family don't have enough money to go shopping all of the time for new clothes and the other therapist asked me if "I still wanted to be a boy" this mortified me so I stopped going. I have kissed 3 girls before and never kissed a boy. I am 345 pounds, spotty, hairy, ugly, my hair is horrible and I even have horrible cyst things under my breasts which are very painful. I just need to know how long does it take to figure out your sexuality? And will someone ever love me?

Trust me, there is someone capable of loving you. The mistakes you're making is trying to predict your future, being overly concerned with labels and thinking that the only factor in relationships is how you look. None of those ideas are true. You need to chill out, do your best to control your weight for health reasons and otherwise accept yourself as you are. Sexuality isn't determined by looking in a mirror.

You sound like someone who always see's the cup as half empty. How you look at things is a CHOICE you make. You can think about what you don't have or you can be thankful for what you do have. I would much rather have a 345 pound "spotty" girlfriend with a big smile and a positive attitude than a skinny model that bitches all day. Think about that because that's what will control your future, not the issues you describe in this quesation.

You want a label? Try "questioning." You don't have to know anything right now. Just relax and trust that you will know when you know, and not a moment before. And you could know, and then that could change. I knew a woman who identified as les for years, then fell in love with a man. I knew another women who was happily married to a man for 25 years. Then 4 years after his death was dating women. Things change, and that's ok.

As for looks, mu husband is gorgeous. Women see him and stop dead in their tracks. Literally. But he's even more beautiful inside... and he's with me. I have acne scars, my family is crazy, and I'm about 50 pounds heavier than I was when we got together. But he loves me.

No one is perfect. We all deserve love. And you will find it.

i agree with rob its better to be optimistic than pesimistic someone is capable of loving u of couse like rob said try to control ur weight for health issues then exept urself good luck:)