I'm jealous of the attention my boyfriend gives others

I love my boyfriend and I'm serious about our relationship. So is he. Since I am serious about us, I try to get over the little things, accept habits, and take care of problems rationally. Despite that it seems I've been getting jealous lately.

I'll notice him talking to other people and giving them compliments and taking to them like he really enjoys their company; more that mine it feels. It's not that I don't trust him, I just want some of that genuine attention. I have to drum up any sort of conversation or connection myself; very rarely does he.

With others he seems to be always asking questions, acting energetic, and really enjoying them. I don't know if this is something I should just get over like other minor things that inevitably come along in a relationship, or if it needs some serious thought and discussion.

Recently I've just been putting it out of my mind because it makes my heart hurt and makes me feel childish to be getting jealous. Please give me some advice on what I should do. thank you.
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Oct 22, 2011
Jealousy is all about insecurity. Ask yourself, what makes him so interested in other people and what about that makes you so insecure? If he was introverted and lazy would you like that? My guess is the qualities you describe are the same qualities you find attractive in him. My advice would be to get in the conversation yourself and accept him as he is, not as you expect him to be. Think about what makes you feel insecure. That's the key.

Answered Oct 22, 2011
i agree and he might talk slighly more to others cause he dont know them he already knows you
Actually I disagree that it's insecurity. If you have a trusting relationship in which you can be honest and vulnerable, I would suggest talking about how you would like to be in a relationship where each person is enthusiastic to see the other. You can only go halfway, and if he cannot find it in himself to remind himself why he was passionate enough in the first place to make you his one and only, then don't you both owe it to yourselves to find that passionate reciprocallity that every person deserves to have? In my experience, jealousy arises for me when my own needs are going unmet in one way or another, otherwise you'd feel satisfied, no?
Answered Dec 22, 2013

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