Some people overstep boundaries. Is this a psychological problem with a solution?

Why does my grown sister think she can bring her cats into the house and put them in any room of the house, when it is not her house and the house rule says no animals? How can someone think they can come into my room and put pictures of their family and their furniture, clothes and books into my room? When I stand my ground, they get all bent out of shape. They say they do not want to hear it and it upsets them very much that someone stands up to them. Then they cannot sleep or they get sick or something. They whine that there is no place to put their clothes, cats, pictures, etc. and complain if I cover the pictures with mine, or put mine in their place, in MY room!!! This is definitely a boundary issue in both of those cases. I am an adult and have an equal share of the house with them. They have their rooms in both cases, and I have mine, or I thought I did. When I stand up for my rights, other members of the houses say, "Please we want some peace around here." which the people with the boundary issues are happy to agree to so they can do whatever they want. The other aspect is that my sister will not let me use one of the house bathrooms because she says it is hers. I turned on the light in there once and she had a total fit. It is not hers, it is the guest bathroom. The other lady is like that too. They feel justified in walking all over you, but you better not tread one foot into what they think is their territory or it produces some type of emotional reaction--anger, tears, outrage, etc. Except for that, they are nice people--helpful, courteous, kind, and usually Christians. How can I help these people? Should I just let them have their way, or would it help them more if I stood up for my own boundaries and risked disturbing others? What is this syndrome called?

Sometimes when there is an emergency, you have to move over and share your home with family or friends. In that case, the boundaries often get smaller. If this your normal liviing situation however, that's different. In neither case does anybody have a right to go into another person's private area and take, change or use anything without permission. You are within your rights to complain but I doubt it will do much good.

If you have the ability to give them the peace and quiet they ask for by moving somewhere else, I'd do it. This is a classic case of the "Me-Me-Me "syndrome.

From what you said, it seems obvious that they are unable to treat you with respect when it's inconvenient for them, and they aren't receptive to hearing how this impacts you. It sounds like that's not ok with you, and it wouldn't be ok with me either. If they can't at least hear you, no amount of talking will help.

You could take a look at yourself to see if there are others in your life you have these same issues with now or in the past, if you have recurring patterns, etc. Take stock to see if you need to correct behaviors or thought patterns that enable others to disrespect you.

I agree: move out if you can... but do take stock of your patterns to be sure you don't inadvertently help recreate the same situation in the new place.

Oh... and I think that "syndrome" is commonly called "selfishness."

Boundary issues can occur with persons with borderline, dependent, antisocial, or hystrionic personality disorders. Without knowing more about these persons, I would hesitate to say which category they may or may not fall into.

The most obvious answer is selfishness, and you seem to contradict yourself when you describe their actions and then go on to say that they are "otherwise kind and courteous." It sort of sounds like "Besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

People will only take advantage of you if you allow them to do so. Have you backed down from this conflict in the past to "keep the peace?" That might explain their cavalier attitude toward your space. If you plan to stay there, you have to stick to your guns.

If you feel that it makes the homeowners too uncomfortable for you to do so, then I would definitely find another place to live...hopefully without housemates, or at least with some that you know would respect your boundaries.