Why is life so unfair, why am I such a loser?

Hello, I'm 15 years old and I'm a loser since I was a child. Ok I just write smth about me. I have congenital nevus on my buttock and because of it I can't go to the beach, I can't wear mini skirts and so on, it also smears everything (I don't even say about white clothes, it's impossible for me). I think I'll never have a family - what man would want a girl with such a abomination? I'm not fat but I hate my body, my hips are big as for me, I have to wear skirts all the time, no pants. I have a small tits and skin on my face isn't really pure. I hate the type of my face at all too. I'm pretty short. I have never been a winner. Really, I can't remember anything like a win for me. Today I was informed that I've failed my last contest called FLEX, which was a really big hope for me and I've lived with dreams of it for the last 9 months. I don't have real friends, I have a best friend, but I would never say to her anything except for those things I say to everyone else. My character is awful too - I'm very emotional (some time ago I used to cry every day for every reason, I just can't stop my tears), depressive, nervous. I've never shown to people how bad do I really feel, I try to be perfect in the eyes of others, but I feel so lonely and devastated (especially since I failed FLEX). My only savior is music, I can listen for piano for hours, but God I can neither play piano nor sing well...
Asked Apr 07, 2011
The thing I would like to make you understand is that being unhappy with how you look in no way makes you a "loser." Many, many, people who were lucky enough to have been born with a perfect body, waste all of it. Others born with imperfections excel far beyond them. The difference isn't what they came into the world with, it's what they did with it after they got here.

You have a choice. You can look at what you don't have and consider yourself a victim or you can look at what you do have and accept the challenge life has given you to find your place in the sun.

I would advise you to talk to a counselor at your school and tell them everything you've written above. If you feel uncomfortable with that, print it out and let them read it.
Answered Apr 07, 2011
thank you very much. But I'm from Ukraine and we don't have counselors at our schools or anything like them. I've been thinking about psychologist, but I don't have money for it. I don't feel uncomfortable with talking about my problems with person who can understand me, I would be happy to have a person like that, but I don't have.
Amie Apr 07, 2011
If there is an older adult that you trust to talk about your feelings maybe you can give that a try. I'm concerned about the feelings of depression. We need a big smile on your face. :-)
Rob Apr 07, 2011
Ok, I'll think about it. My mum looks like she doesn't perceive it serious, but I'll try to talk to her. Anyway, I'm a little bit happier now after posting on this site, I feel like somebody cares. I'm glad that there are sites like this, thank you again :)
Amie Apr 07, 2011
You're very welcome.

I don't know about you but when I feel bad, just forcing myself to smile always makes me feel better. Any time we can help, put your problem up and we'll do the best we can.
Rob Apr 07, 2011
geez rob I gotta say your really good at answering
Youre not a loser you just need to stop dwelling on your flaws and look at youre perfections. And as for being emotional I am very emotional too. And I also have no music ability either. Just keep youre head high.
Answered Apr 07, 2011
Edited Apr 07, 2011
thank you. I know I need to look at my perfections, I just still haven't find them.
Amie Apr 07, 2011
can you dance?
Abrii Apr 07, 2011
Well, I can't dance as good as many girls on the discos dance and so on. I used to go to irish dances, but leave them because I didn't want to give concerts, I just wanted to have fun.
Amie Apr 07, 2011
You aren't a loser. You simply need to forget about your imperfections and look at the things that you love doing and are great at. I'm sure you can find that you have some kind of talent just waiting to be found.

We all have depression in some way. I know that I have had depression my entire life, but you just have to keep a smile on your face and tell the world that you are perfect in your own way.

As for the guy thing. You'll find someone one day. If there is one thing I have discovered it's that there are literally billions of people out there and there is someone for you. As Rob said, anytime you need help we'll help you in the best ways that we can :)
Answered Apr 07, 2011
thank you :)
Amie Apr 08, 2011
I completely agree with everything that's been said. I wanted to add that a lot of adults I know would describe their teen years as their ugly duckling years. During that time, our bodies are really changing a lot and it just takes time for things to settle out. Just keep your head up and smile. :-) When I'm going through difficult periods, I try to find something to be grateful for every day. That usually helps me feel a little better.
Answered Apr 07, 2011
thank you :)
Amie Apr 08, 2011
You are not a loser,and if a person was really to love you,imperfections wouldn't matter to him.From your description you seem like a nice,cool person that i'd love to meet and i'd love talk and be friends with you. I understand life is hard.It Really is,thats what life is all about.You should just give things a try.If you are really so upset about a congenital nevus why not try to see if you could get it removed or have some sort of makeup on it,when you leave in skirts and bikinis.I personally like congenital nevus I sometimes think they are very cute.Im short too and I dont like how my face looks but other people's opinions on me isn't going to affect my life to the depth of hating myself.So Please at least try.And you're bound to be able to try on pants.And you should be yourself and try not to hide it.It could really effect your life in a good way.So give things a try.
Answered Oct 14, 2011
Everyone is beautiful in their own way - whether it is in appearances or deep inside. Don't stay stuck on your flaws. Think of the beautiful things about you. Even though you can't see it, other's will and there's someone out there who is crazy about you.
Answered Jan 18, 2013
stop believing in god
believe in real things like yourself, love, nature, friendship, loyalty etc
Answered Jan 21, 2013
Hello there I agree you are not a Looser, just a Little confused, keep thinking Positive I cant add aney more Positive things as Has been already said, if you want a friend you Have one in me you are welcom to write me aney time you feel down I been that way Most of my Life, I have alot of friends on Instant messenger, down loade it and add me on my ID is [email protected] so we can chat with each other, and dont speen to much time thinking about youre InPerfections you are more perfect than you think just keep telling youreself that, ok and you see it works,I would be very proud if you were my Girlfriend and Us visit here and someday meet in person what do you think will you be my Girlfriend here untill we meet in person some day, and then we can go from there,I LOVE you and I am thinking about you, my Name is Ralph,what youre name,Have a nice day Hope you get back with me some time, we are both going to be just fine now that we are each other friends,
Answered Sep 21, 2013
Just because of the fact that you told us you love listening to piano music and that you are emotional tells me something good about you. The heart and soul that it takes to appreciate piano is extremely rare. And being emotional is a great thing. It may be very troubling at times, but it means that you have a great deal of empathy and are in touch with your self. I wish I could be like that, I am the opposite. I have empathy, I just have a very hard time communicating my emotions. I as well love instrumental and piano music(if it makes you feel better, ive been on and off playing piano for 8 years... I dont even know most if basic music theory!)and it is one of the very few things keeping me alive, but it's definitely worth living for, isnt it? Listen... You are a beautiful person... And I know you will never be normal, neither will I(mentally). But normal is just a dryer setting. You are not worthless, and you aren't normal. Who wants to be a sheep, who sees no flaws jn anything whatsoever? They can't improve that way! No, you won't be happy in most of your life, and ignore the people who try to say your problems are normal and people your age should feel that way. I have had so many people tell me that and it makes me so mad! You are you. No one else. You may not be able to do things thaf normal people can do, but you can feel with your soul. I am bad at sports, music, school, and most of all socializing. But I know that although we are different we share something in common. We have experienced more than 'normal' people have, and that makes us more mature internally. Any obstacles in your life WILL positively affect you in some way, you may not notice it, but eventually you will. You are coming to terms with the world and how you fit into it and it is very hard and you may feel so alone I can imagine. But your not alone. Im here for you, for anything.
Answered Sep 30, 2013

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