Does she still like him/them, or does she just regret the past events?

Hi, i'm a girl and I currently have a girlfriend (we're both bi).

She has had boyfriends in the past in which the relationships ended quite badly. We have been together for about a month now, and the time we got together was the time she began to feel she was bi- although i'm the only girl she's ever liked in that way. In short, she hasn't known she's been bi for that long, whereas I have known I have been bi for over 2 years now.

What i'm worried about is the fact that she keeps crying over her ex boyfriends. I suppose you could say i'm partially worried out of jealousy, but mostly because I care for her and what she thinks.
She is also always talking about them- usually mocking them and saying unkind things about them because of the way her relationships with them ended... Is this true resentment towards them, or do you think she is just displaying anger to cover up the feelings she still has for them? She broke down the other day- as it was a year that she had been separated from one of them, and so I hugged her. At this time I asked her if she still liked them, and she kept on shaking her head and said no, it was just because she was angry and that she truly did not like them. What do you think? Sorry it was so long of an explanation. I just can't really work it out. I just want to know where I stand in this, because I really love her, and I want to do all I can to help her... Thanks :)
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Mar 01, 2011
It's a tough call from a distance.

If she's still in the process of coming out, then she's likely got a lot going on emotionally. Maybe she's not thinking about the ex boyfriends; maybe she's comparing boys to girls. Maybe she's over *them*, but not over the *hurt* they caused. Or maybe she's still really angry at herself for "allowing" herself to be hurt in the first place.

Maybe the best thing you can do is be supportive and create a safe space for her to feel whatever she's feeling. But look out for your heart, too.
Answered Mar 01, 2011

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