When I was 13 I held a gun to my head.
More than once.
The only thing that kept me from pulling it was: well, idk. Maybe I was a coward.
The fact is that I did not get along with my parents,I was unpopular and poor and hated living I guess. Well, I loved life, living was hard.
I have found something though in the many years since then.
The bull crap that I thought was so important then, did not matter at all.
I became successful in spite of all of them.
The jocks in school and the preps that I thought were so cool and above me, dont matter, You never see them after school.
The chicks I used to chase , and get rejected by, soon realized what a real man was. They chased me: and were , in turn, rejected by me , as I realzied, I was too good for them, not the other way around.
I have my own daughter now, and she is my world.
Successes come, and go, and so do failures.
But life , I Know now, is such a gift.
I think of the love I would have missed,
MY girl would not exist.
Circumstances sometimes suck, But we are not responsible for them, only how we choose to react to them.
I found the love of two people, who love me unquestioningly.
And I had no idea that that boy, me, a scared 13 year old with a gun to his head who wanted to die, would one day give life and be the hero to an 8 year old girl.
LIfe is so worth it.
So worth it.
I pray that you are given someone to love and that loves you.
Keep looking for it and keep waiting, it will come for you too.
Every day I look in her eyes, see them sparkle up at me, her daddy, and she kisses my cheek, I read her a bedtime story and she says I love you after prayer.
All I can promise you are these things: the trouble is not as bad as you think, and life does get better, much much better.