I'm 14 & I'm dating a 24 Year Old. Our relationship is becoming a little to sexual?

I'm 14 & My boyfriend of 3 years is 24. We are deeply in love. He loves me and I love him. His personality is great. We have had sex before but only once. He now likes to talk about sex a little to much. We kiss & I have slept in the same bed as him without having sex. I really love him & I never wanna lose him. He is my everything & I am his everything. What should I do? Have sex with him so we can stay together?
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Feb 06, 2011
Edited Feb 06, 2011
Pay attention to that little feeling that things are moving too fast. It's telling you something is wrong with this situation.
Hi, im 14 and I met a guy on holiday and hes 24, we are starting a relation-ship but arent going to bring anything sexual activies into our relatipn-ship until I reach the legal age.. I just want to know what its like been in a relation-ship with an adult at such a young age and what should I be aware of? Is it illegal for me to start a relation-ship at such a young age with him?
she started dating a 21 year old when you! were 10
No man wants a relationship without sex
If you are so concerned about the two of you staying together, what do you intend to do while he serves his 20 years in prison? There is no state in the US where sex between a 14 and a 24 year old isn't considered felony rape regardless of whether the minor consents or not.
Answered Feb 06, 2011
Edited Feb 06, 2011
This answer was amazing in my eyes. I completely forgot about felony rape.

You should probably mention that to your special man, so he knows whatever he does can have him arrested.
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Okay, number one, you have problems.

You said he's your boyfriend of 3 years, who is 24. You're 14. Three years ago, that means an 11 year old was dating a 21 year old. This can be called sexual harassment. Considering on what country you live in, your parents can have this person arrested.

This is also completely unsafe. At your age, what you look for in a relationship is not what a 24 year old man is looking for. He wants to settle down, have a family, buy a house. You aren't out of school yet, unless you're a dropout. The age is way too far apart for anything to happen safely. And you have to realize, if you don't want him anymore, and he still wants you, you can be overpowered, raped, or even killed.

Best thing is to stay away from sex, even with a condom. It is completely understandable that a 14 year old girl shouldn't have sex with a 24 year old man.

If anyone sees this answer who has a similar or different opinion, please comment. Speak some reason into this girl.
Answered Feb 06, 2011
That is a really good answer mohawk651
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completely true, its illegal what your doing, and he can go to jail
I have to say that it's REALLY bad that at 21 he wanted to date an 11-year old. Look at it this way, you were HALF his age then.

Now, first of all, you shouldn't be thinking that sex is the only way to make a person want to stay with you. That's a really unhealthy way of thinking, and I really hope he hasn't put that in your head. Sex is not the currency of relationships.

Secondly, and more importantly, I think you should not be with this man at all. The two of you are in COMPLETELY different places in life, and hold COMPLETELY different ways of thinking. You're not compatible at all. You may not want to hear it, and I hope you try to understand, but it seems a lot like he took advantage of your young age and impressionability and made you dependent on his presence. Made you think that you love him. Maybe not even with really horrible intentions, but he's still taking advantage of you, and it's likely going to stunt you, emotionally. I hope you leave him safely, and bring him to the attention of the authorities.
Answered Feb 07, 2011
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I'm sorry I have one question, is this a boy-man relationship? I looked at your profile and it says you are a 14 year old male. Am I right? I agree that this is rape but it appears that you have been "convinced" that it is not. Was this someone who may have took advantage of your innocensce in the beginning? Was he your first? I need to know this first too better answer you.
Answered Feb 22, 2011
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You are soooooo lucky you're not my kid!!! Ok... 2 maybe 3 year difference would be ok but a 10 year difference.... How do you have anything in common!?!?! Mohawk651 made some very good points! At 14 years old you shouldn't be concerned with pleasing someone who is 10 years older than you! You should be out hanging with friends.... This boyfriend of yours, There is something seriously wrong with him!!!!! Open your eyes and move on!!! When you're 25 years old and you still can't get your mind off of him.... look him up! By then at least you'll have something in common with each other!!!!
Answered Feb 23, 2011
I didn't know that 2 people's ages inferred whether or not that they had something in common. I thought that liking music, tv, going to the movies, eating pizza, going to concerts, having a favorite color, veiw about the furtue and politics, ect we're usual things that determined whether 2 people had somethin in common or not. Hm.
do you have anything in common with most people 10 years younger than you such as taste in music tv foods probably not because they have a whole differant generation of these things than you and what 14 yr old do you know who even has a political view or serious plans for the future
mackala Sep 07, 2013
When I was 14 I had serious plans for the future and they are still in play. I also had political views. Many. Maybe you aren't looking in the right places?
It does not matter how much you have in common if that was the case most people would be sleeping with 90% of the people they know. You were 11 and he was 21 that makes him a predator to see anything sexual in a girl that young. He is sick and needs help and anyone who thinks differently, well I guess they are confused or a sick child predator to. If you were my kid I would make sure that man rotted in prison. You have your whole life ahead of you please open your eyes and see how wrong your situation is. You may have feelings for him but sounds like he has your head really messed up. No man sold ever have a intimate relationship with a minor. He is taking advantage of you .
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Ok, let's look at this from another perspective.

Let's talk about what YOU are doing.

There's this thing called "statutory rape." It means, "Sexual activities where one participant is below the age required to legally consent [18] to the behavior, although it usually refers to adults engaging in sex with minors under the age of consent [18]."

You need to understand that this is illegal in every US state, and nearly every other country.

Here's what would happen to this boyfriend you love so deeply:

1. Anyone convicted of statutory rape who gets out of prison will forever be branded as a "felony child sex offender."

2. IF the person gets out of jail, s/he will have to register with the FBI's national registry and with the local police EVERY TIME they move.

3. Depending on the state, the person cannot live within certain distances of a school or day care center.

4. Their photo, home address, and description of their crime goes into online databases like https://www.neighborhoodscan.com/ so people can know what convicted sexual predators live in their community.

5. They have to declare that they were convicted of a sex crime EVERY TIME they apply for a job or apply to rent an apartment. Most employers won't hire them, and landlords wouldn't want to go anywhere near them, meaning that if they get out of prison they will have a hard time making a living and finding a place to live.

6. If a judge were to look at your situation, s/he wouldn't see a "relationship" but an incident of "child sexual abuse."

7. You also need to understand that the penalties are much harsher in most states when the adult is over 21 and the minor is under 16. These penalties vary from 10 years to life in prison.
(Learn more: http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm)

8. No judge would show your boyfriend leniency because you consent, because no court recognizes that you are old enough to consent.

9. Child sex predators are reviled and hated; they judge would give your boyfriend the harshest penalty in order to protect you and other children. Even fellow inmates would give him hell for that.

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THESE VERY SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. Your boyfriend would endure a lifetime of hardship and suffering, and rightfully so.

Is THIS the life you want for someone you love?

If you *love* your boyfriend so deeply (never mind if you have any love for yourself), then you MUST END THIS TODAY. If he pursues you, tell your parents, a teacher, or a guidance counselor.
Answered Feb 23, 2011
Edited Feb 23, 2011
Skydancer THANK YOU
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wow 14..your timimg is off sweet heaart.You shouldn't be having sex at your age you should even be dating anyone at that age.Understand this if a man want to date a child there is something wrong with his head ...He can easily minipulate you ..I've heard of lots of situations like this and 2 things end up happening you end up pregnat and you in up dating him just for the baby sakes.You end up trapand have to grow up fast.You miss your friends and you want to hang out but you cant.even if you could he would end up jealouscause you want to have fun so he ends up beating you.and mentally ausing you .Trust me these situations always starts off good but end bad.STAY AWAY FROM HIM.
Answered May 11, 2012
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ITS A TERRIBLE IDEA NEVER DATE OR HAVE SEX AT THAT AGE!!!! if your a guy or a girl its bad on your health,life and so on and anyone who someone dates that one that much younger than them is messed up in th head
Answered Jul 27, 2012
Edited Jul 27, 2012
http://gulfnews.com/arts-entertainment/celebrity/freddie-aguilar-60-to-marry-16-year-old-girlfriend-in-philippines-1.1245368 look at this.
Wtf that's messed up your 14 he's 24 that's considered rape and he doesnt love you he probaly just some pervert who wants to see a kid naked who knows he might of had sex with some other girl before and get harpies or some other S.T.D and if u think that sex is the only way to make someone love you forever your wrong he could just sex u then leave. The only way someone will actually love forever is if they are really the right person for u in other words the same age as u or close not a 10 year difference. And you might want to look at the police website and search his name or just look him up anywhere on the Internet cause he has some problems and you are going to need to think about what it will do to your body. Kids who are tricked easily like you are, are the most commonly raped killed or kidnapped
Answered Mar 07, 2013
Well don't scare her. some people are bad and do kidnap people for god knows what reason, but not everybody is a raper or criminal that likes taking children. I believe that her guy does love her because I'm in the same situation as she is.
No you don't that that man loves her they invented somthing called LIEING!
love has nothing to do with age so stop saying it goes
to heathermmb13 just because you are in the same situation doesnt mean its not still a bad situation lets put it this way say she is 18 or over and shes in an abusive relationship and people are giving her grave and serious warning about the risks shes in and you day say something like " oh stop scaring her not everybody who hits their women is a murderer/torturer that I beleive that this abuser loves her because im in the same situation" even if he truly wholeheartedly loves her its still wrong and hes still a pedophile. people who support these relationship are usually in them and cant see anything wrong with it because we dont like admitting we are wrong just like an addict wont say they are addicted or that there is anything wrond with their addiction
mackala Sep 08, 2013
i like your point of view mohawk!!
Answered Apr 20, 2013
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these people are small minded how can they judge your realenship with out knowing you both? okay 11? may be quite young but if you agreeing to sex and using condom nothing wroung with that? if you really dont want to say your on your period or something or just give him head good luck xx
Answered Feb 09, 2011
How are they close minded? They are simply stating that the fact a 24 year old dating a 14 year is old is incredibly disturbing.
Closed-minded might be objecting to a 54-year old dating a 44-year old. However, both of those people would be of legal age of consent. 11/14 and 21/24 is NOTHING like that. I don't think people are being closed-minded. I think they have genuine concern for the health and well-being of a child.
Am 14 soon and I hve had quite enough off this post I was only doing some rand research and stuff .....You know what love is love haven't you ever dated someone that your friends never approved of ... If you fell in love with someone that your parents and friends forbad you to see .. Wouldn't you be kicking and screaming tell them it's your life .. This girl ony asked for advice and she does sound like she's in love shouldn't the advice we should give her is speak to her man and tell him how she feels
Lizzie, I'm turning 14 soon too. But these people has a point, she is too young to date him. Hell if I was her parent I would forbid this too, even if its "love" he is too old.
You people get so caught up in what the law & government considers right. Geez, what do YOU consider to be right?? There shouldn't e a difference between a 14 year old being with a 24 y.o. From a 44 y.o with. 54 y.o., because truth is is that MANY of the best marraiges and relationships over the history of man sprung out of such ages.The law made it that way. You make it seem like people under 18, especially women, are so dumb and helpless and that any man over a certain age (or all men period) only want sex from them, and you try so hard to "protect" women from these men. You forget that she's a human being, and he's a human being. And they should be thought of as such. Not just some number and a stereotype.
Ok, that is really messed up, and anyone who says age doesnt matter is messed up too, there is no way that this is love. 14-24 omg, im so sorry for you, I may sound mean, but this is disgusting, he will suffer such a bad life for this and if you love him so much, I agree with everyone else, end it now, before the suffering starts for both of you...
Answered Jun 18, 2013
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Your boyfriend is desperate and he's also a pedophile dating a 14 year old f
Answered Jun 18, 2013
How come any 18+ year old guy that dates a minor is desperate??? Are minors that less of a human being than a 18+ year old??? Do minors gain some kind of human recognition ID on their 18th birthday so anyone who's 18+ won't ever be considered "desperate" for even considering them to be worthy of their fancy??
while minors are not less human they are less mentally developed incapable of making rational decisions of this magnitude being in this kind of relationships can cripple a person in future ones not to mention do you think anyone under the age of 16 is prepared enough for pregnancy birth and motherhood which no matter how many precautions you take can still occur and it is extremely desperate to seek a sexual relationship with a minor for reasons like that youd have to be desperate to be with some one you cant possibly have much in common with unless you a ridiculessly mature teenager which I very highly doubt when it comes to girls or boys who would date and adult because any mature person would consider the risks and then decide on the healthiest course which is not dating someone who can get arrest for going to second base with you
mackala Sep 07, 2013
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just shut up and stop screaming at the girl. im turning 12 this month and I am in a relationship with a 21 year old. he claims that he has no interest in sex. he knows the consequences of such age difference and is aware that any sexual contact could send him to jail. he was raised through a good background and he is against phedophiles and perverts. I have brought up my concerns that he could be a pervert and he told me the reasons that he would not be one. im still concerned about it but if the male and female love each other and actually have feelings then who are you to judge. if for some reason she is willing to have sexual relations with the guy then thats her decision. if its the right choice then it will turn out to be a good thing but if its a bad choice then it will go down in flames. its as simple as that!
Answered Jul 06, 2013
wow so you are not even or barely in puberty and you think you know what love is, no you don't love this 21 yr old guy hes a creep I bet at some point before you are 16 hes going to ask you for sex people dont just wait 5 years to have sex with some one if not from you or some one else and trust me im not wrong and he is in fact a pervert and a pedophile who by definition target minors and promise them to treat them right up until they get what they want tell me if you are still in this relationship when you are of consenting age and still havent had sex and if that comes true which I hope it does as to restore my faith in society I will become an advocate for your side of the argument
mackala Sep 07, 2013
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Honey you have some problems. Me, being a mother, I would have never let you date this kid in the first place. When I was 11 I was out messing around with my friends having a good time just being kids. Now I'm only 18 so it really was not that long ago I was 11. Your 14 now and this guy is pressuring you into sex, that's not okay. Your still under age sweetie, you shouldn't have to be worrying if your boyfriend wants to have sex with you or not right now. If I were your parent I would make you leave him. Be smart honey, don't try to end your life right now by trying to be in such a serious relationship. You have a full life ahead of you and this man should be dating women his own age.
Answered Jul 25, 2013
Sounds like the child abuser your dating already has your head confused. And I can guarantee he is getting sex from some other underage child behind your back because at that age no matter what they tell u the truth is all they want is sex and he needs to rot in jail and you need therapy. If your parents know about this than they should face charges to. If they don't know than I sure hope they find out and press charges because they can and there is nothing u can do to stop them . Do u want to know why? Because him being with you is a crime. Its a sick crime.
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This relationship should stop.....
Answered Aug 01, 2013
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if u don't want to have sex just tell him the truth be the bigger person :(
Answered Sep 06, 2013
First of all if you really cared about his guy you wouldn't have had sex with him in the first place, because he could go to jail for that. Second you are 14 you don't know anything about love you don't even know proper grammar yet it's TOO sexual not TO sexual. Even not having sex he could go to jail for molestation. Also what could you possibly base a real relationship on with a guy that much older than you, I mean you are barely in high school and hes college age you can't get a job, drive, drink, smoke, rent a car, rent a hotel room, cross state lines without parental consent. I mean come on and if anyone tells you age is only a number tell them a prison cell is only a room. And if all this doesn't get my point across then think about it this way if your relationship is a good thing then what about a relationship between a "consenting" relationship between and 8 year old and an 18 year old its no different. This is serious physiologically damaging stuff not to mention really really illegal.
Answered Sep 07, 2013
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Hey, Are you still dating him? 👀
Answered Oct 23, 2013
Edited Oct 23, 2013
You should not have sex until 20 in the modern world. I.e no one would make a 14 year old president would they - so how come you know that you love him. You need older people to guide you like parents. At 14 you know no better - that's the truth. And you need to be 18 to have relations anyway - Its too risky , what if you regret your mistake in 10 years presuming you live until then.
Answered Oct 23, 2013
I bet now your not even together? am I right? I bet I am...
Answered Oct 30, 2013
that is rape
Answered Oct 31, 2013
I am turning 21 soon and live with my fiance.weve been together for 6 years yes I was 14 and he was 23 our relationship is great were deeply in love and have a wonderful son together
Age does not matter at all...and finished school evrything is going great.
So dont let anybody tell you that it wont work..because if you guys love eachother nothing cant stop you. Another thing he is not jelous he lets me go out with my friends whenever I want my fam adores him..not every relationship is the same..but if you guys love eachother go for it.
Answered Nov 04, 2013
I know how you feel. I'm 15 and I'm talking to a 23 year old. We don't do anything sexual and the most we have touched is an innocent hug. He is my instructor and I'm in love with him, and I think he knows it because of the way I act around him. We flirt a lot it's pretty obvious but yea ik how you feel it's like me and him just clicked. It's like we both forgot how old each of us were and we talked and got to know eachother and I started to fall in love with him, his funny personality, his smile, everything. It's like our souls just connected and age didn't exist.
Answered Feb 03, 2014
So here’s my situation. My bf of three years decided he wanted to take time to fix himself and get right with God (we are both Christians) he said maybe there is hope we can can get back together if God leads us there. I just started no contact and I’m working on fixing myself, getting a new job and stuff. We were almost engaged but our biggest issue was I was not supportive of his family and we argued over that. Immaturity on my part. I also pushed him to change to much and I didn’t realize he didn’t even need to change. I see he joined a Christian dating site three days after he broke up with me but he said its only to meet friends. He is a very honest guy. I need get him back and my last chance was love spell . Entered on the website http://magical-rituals.com , because I read that he has a lot of positive feedback. I’m not disappoint. My lover back to me in only one month. We are happy couple now.
Answered Jun 30, 2015
Sounds like a nice relationship.
But relationships are about what you both like, a bit of give a take if you will.
You should let him know that its ok to talk about sex, just keep it to a few times a week.
Answered Feb 22, 2011
I disagree. The fact that this is illegal makes it not a "relationship". There is no appropriate number of times for an legal adult to talk about having sex with a legal child.
Stop surrounding your whole life (and others) around the law. Especially the nonsense ones that have been used to control people's lives. How about you chose what's best for you with your own morals, beliefs, and religion, and how about the government concentrate more on the real rape laws for people who actually get Raped.
Yeah silver moore thats a nice concept except when an authority figure sees this and the guy goes to jail and his life is forever ruined not to mention the girls reputation. These laws are in place to protect minors from people who seek to take advantage of young people who feel love because at that age every emotion you feel is amplified and your reasoning is short circuited because you're risk versus reward views are skewed would you feel the same way if this was a 19 yr old having "consenting" sex with a 9 yr old?
mackala Sep 07, 2013
if he really loves you, you can get engaged to the time you can make a home, a family, else, it will be just a wondering love ( false ) & a full sex life.
Answered Feb 24, 2011
I'm in love with a 22 yr. old man and I'm 14. Luckly I had a good upbringing and so did he. We both do that kind of dance thing where we know we like each other but can't admit it. I can see that look in his eyes like: I like you. But he holds back and doesn't ask me out because he knows better. We both do. You should just barely be dating, but having sex? And while your a minor? I'm telling you now to White fang him. If you really love him let him go because you could get him sent to jail.
Answer: Don't give him what he wants. A man should love you for you, not for your sex or your body.
Answered May 10, 2013
I agree with superkit. I am 14 and I have been talking to a 21 year old man for the past year and we both know we like eachother. I have know him for 5 years, yet I have never had sex with him. The most touching we have ever done is a hug. He is my best friend and he is going to stay that way for awhile. I care to much about him for him to go to jail. So we will not be getting into any kind of relationship anytime soon. We understand what could happen if we did want to be in a relationship together so that why we are just friends, and we occasionlly flirt from time to time but thats it. The guys at my school that are my age, they are all jerks and they are worse than the older guys all the boys talk about at my school is sex, thats why I like a 21 year old. I am in the same situation sotra as the girl but I know better than to do the things that she are doing.
Yeah omg I'm 14yr old boy, I would love to be with a girl that was in her twenties! And it's not just cuz boys have those fantasies maybey girls have them with older guys also. The only reason that ppl freak out when they see a underage girl with an older man is cuz I guess men are over-powering or something because I know that if your son said I wanna have sex with older women u wouldn't care butt NO NO NO if a girl says she wants to have sex with a older man you slap her in the face, am I right??????
Answered May 29, 2013
No you are wrong anyone, ANYONE in a sexual relationship with some one they can babysit then it's wrong women get sent to prison for the same thing all the time. I would give the same advice to a 14 yr old male as I would a 14 yr old female and that is DON"T HAVE SEX WITH A PEDOPHILE you are not of consenting age and it can be damaging to your mental health and growth. And are you really ready to be a father at 14. YOU sir are a moronic infant.
mackala Sep 07, 2013
well, go ahead FUCK the living shit out of him, have fun! Get caught.... your life is over- u can kiss his ass to jail and you will never be the same. At least fuck someone your own age or better yet wait until you can consent. continue to touch yourself for two years; is it really that long. YOU CAN"T be that horny. WHY Give your body to an asshole. Make him wait- he shouldn't even be touching you.

WAKE UP- NO girls pussy should be fucked before there at least 16
Answered May 29, 2013
Edited May 29, 2013
oh dear
anon99 Sep 07, 2013

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