Overweight women, what do you think?

Hi I am a BIG girl and I have never had a boyfriend (keep in mind I am still only 14) and I just wanted to know do men find women who are of a bigger stature attractive or repulsive it really worries me sometimes and I can't lose weight like normal people and another thing I wanted to know was that how big does a girl have to be to be completely repulsive. p.s. it would really help me if you could answer my second question in stones not kilograms xxxxxxx

A guy who picks out his girlfriend based on how much she weighs sounds more like a farmer shopping for cattle than someone looking for a date. I understand that being overweight is a negative in many men's eyes but people who pay more attention to what things look like on the outside rather than what's within very often learn that everything that glitters isn't gold.

That's not to say that being overweight is OK, it's just more of a health issue than being about attraction. Find someone who will accept you for who you are and they will be willing to help you with the health issues the same way you would be willing to help them with theirs. Relationships are about caring, not how much you weigh.

Answering as a psychology student, I can tell you that the evidence overwhelmingly points away from size when males rate the attractiveness of females (it's actually hip to waist ratio that happens to be the clincher). Big girls are sexy too, it's all about how you wear it!

But let's face it, who falls in love with someone based on how they look? It's probably the least important aspect of a relationship, but God knows adolescent lads can be shallow and cruel so if you haven't started having fun with the boys yet, it's as much about them as it is you. As long as you lack confidence in yourself, t hat'll be the first thing people register about you. Big or small, it's your own ideas about what that means that will make the difference in the long term.

Try not to get too hung upon the way you look. Unless you've been diagnosed with an (incredibly rare) physical disorder or are taking medication which interferes with your metabolism, then you can lose weight - just burn more than you eat, it's not rocket science. Try changing your life in little ways (maybe walking a bit more, cut out the snacks... Easy stuff) and you'll see how much better you feel. By saying "I can't" you've instantly removed your ability to do something. Alternatively, accept you're a bit bigger boned and concentrate on the bits you do like, maybe your hair's fabulous, or you've been told you've got pretty eyes. Everyone's got something going for them honey, it's a real shame you can't see it.

Remember you're worth everything, being beautiful on the inside will win more in a life than small waist will, and if someone can't see you for everything you have to offer, that's their loss. Start to feel good about yourself on the inside and it'll show on the outside, you'll be beating them off with a stick before you know it as long as you have confidence in yourself. Just for now, make sure you're happy with YOU before you start to seek the approval of others.

All the best sweetie x

I hope to be as openminded in the answer I give you, but I can only try.
First of all, I think Hayley gave a poignant answer, especially about the way you tell yourself that you can't lose weight being a blocking mechanism in your mentality of actually losing weight.
From my point of view, if you want to lose weight, it has to be for the right reason. Please don't think that losing weight will bring you instant attention from the boys. Striving to be more attractive in a common societal frame will bring you the kind of attention or oogling from the opposite sex that you may feel objectified by, but it will be just that - attention to the way you look, not who you are inside.
However, from the evolutionary point of view, men are attracted to women that display healthy breeding traits and physical attributes - as in the hip to waist ratio. That is mostly what makes men sexually attracted to women. If you are looking for a man to have a strictly sexual relationship, with the possibility of a long term courtship, then yes, you should think about becoming more physically fit, if that is what you are looking for out of a relationship.
Now, as for what you are supposed to be, or what size you should be, well that depends on many factors. Some of which include your height, bone density and frame size, genetic factors, etc... You should go to a respectable physician that will give you sound advice and not try to make you feel bad about being overweight - believe or not, there are a lot of doctors out there that are prejudiced and emotionally or mentally demeaning to people of larger size. It will be a benefit to you to find someone to council you through weight loss and the emotional side effects that have taken a toll on your self-esteem as a young woman.
Overall, your question about how big do you have to be to qualify as repulsive urges me to remind you that there are a lot more attributes that make a person, whether male or female, repulsive. An exorbitant amount of faults make someone repulsive, regardless of weight, size, or appearance of any nature.
Should you strive to be a thinner version of yourself, just please remember that version will still be you, only with less fluff and possibly a bit healthier. You will still have the apprehension that inhibits you from knowing that you deserve someone that treats you with respect and wants you for you, seriously what's inside. And please don't take this the wrong way, I only say this because you present yourself this way.
Take care, and remember that your attitude about yourself is THE most important aspect to your attractiveness.