I was raped

ok I hate sharing this but
from 2 to 8 I was raped . my nan and pop had a big (huge) garden and my cousin used to rape me there (from the behind) and he did that on easter christmas. (well everytime I was there and he was there)im 13 now and I like just go mad like I hit people at school (if I do it once more then im exspelled) now I cant do it at school (cauze ill get exspelled) so what I do is..... go up to fencez and punch them as hard as I can... I get mad just like that (like it comes to my head THEN BANG I go off) I blame my self for everything like my parints spit up I blame myself for that I cry cause I think that I did it. I just want to get a gun to my head then bang im dead. (the person who did it got away with it.) my mum and dad know that happend to me but they dont know how I feel and I dont want to tell them. so how can I stop all these (plus I do counsing as well) what do I do???

You've done nothing wrong and have absolutely no reason to feel guilty or torment yourself for anything. If he hasn't been punished, consider whether prosecuting him would make you feel better.

The most important thing for you to understand at this point is becoming a victim is a choice YOU get to make. Neither your parents or your cousin have anything to do with it. You can let this drag you down or you can channel your anger into energy, hold your head high, go to work, get a good education and make a contribution in the world. What your cousin did was his demented choice. How it affects you is yours.

i feel really bad 4 u nd I understand you and how you feel I was also rape when I was 8 or 7 I keep it 2 myself and tried to never think of it but its like it dont go noo were I will always remmber this forever I told years later but my family didnt belive me soo nothin much happen so I try to go on with my life but hit back it tay_babii123

There's no reason at all for him to be running free. Just because time has passed doesn't mean that it isn't a crime anymore.

Try and get him arrested. It should ease your anger.

The rest can be worked on with professional help.

My heart goes out to you. It’s difficult for most people to realize what you’ve been through and how destructive that’s been. I know you’ll hear many people say you should do this or that, and for the most part they really want to help, but they are themselves at a loss for words. I agree with Rob when he said “The most important thing for you to understand at this point is becoming a victim is a choice YOU get to make”. I know this may be very difficult to understand, and even more difficult to do, but I suggest you should start by forgiving your cousin. Regardless of what some people may say, vengeance will NOT make you feel better, in fact it can make you feel worse. Someone once said “forgiveness is not something you do to someone else, but it’s something you do to yourself”. Healing goes a lot deeper , and a lot faster when you forgive. The law is still there to protect you and the rest of society against people who do such things. If you decide to lay charges, do so with forgiveness, love and compassion in your heart. This can be done with an attitude to help your cousin, not to try to hurt him and gain vengeance.

Finally, if you want your healing to be complete, there is one person who can really help you. His name is Jesus Christ. I’m not talking about a religion, but about you having a personal relationship with someone who suffered more than we can all imagine. He died on a roman cross, but because he was sinless before God, God raised him from the dead. This means he is completely alive today, and wants to give us all eternal life like he has. To know him, you need to hear him speak to you, and this will happen when you read the Bible. Find yourself a copy of the Bible (or new testament), and start by reading the gospel of John. This is the gospel of love, and in it you will read about how Jesus gave his life for you so that all your sins (and mine, and everyone’s) can be forgiven. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that gave his one and only Son, so that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life”. You can pray to God now, and ask him to show you what to do. He hears and he answers sincere prayer. All you need to do is to believe in Jesus, and ask him to come into your life. If you let him, he will himself heal you, make himself known to you, and give you more joy, love, and peace than you could ever imagine. He also said: “If you hold to my teaching (my Word), you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE”. I can truthfully say that he has done so in my life, and I was very messed up from sin (alcohol, sex, drugs, etc). Sin makes us all suffer. You are suffering from the sin of your cousin. The consequence of sin is death, (the bible says: ...sin entered the world through one man (Adam), and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all have sinned. Romans 5; 12). It was our sin that made Jesus to suffer, and die on that cross. Remember, sin causes suffering and death!!! But now, Jesus also offers us eternal life through faith in him. God gives us the righteousness of Jesus Christ, if we simply trust him, believe in Jesus, and believe his promises for us. If you believe in Him, he will write your name in the “Book of Life”. Jesus said: “Come! Whoever is thirsty, let him (her) come; and whoever wishes , let him (her) take the free gift of the water of life. Rev 22; 17”

Please rest assured that my wife and I are praying for you.

Marc

Yes, It is real hard to be in a similar situation as yours, which you described above. I understood what you say to mean that: you kept being violated by this so-called person for a number of years, that he is a habitual doer of the ugly acts which he committed against you; he did it not only to you but he also did it to other young females too. I will assume that, he's of the same age as yours or slightly older by say up to 3 years or so. That your parents are not together anymore (you may be living with Mom or with Dad currently or since they parted). That the both of your parents know what had happened to you but both of them chose to neglect their duty to protect you.
Protection is the key word.
Like others above have already said , slef-protection is the best weapon and treatment you need and must now get training in it. And you need to learn to acquire the two kinds of self-protection which you need in the situation you are in. Internal self-protection (within you) and external self-protection (against any repeat of any similar act involving violation of you, your body or your rights by him or by anyone else, ever in the future).
For self protection, there is a book I suggest your read the translation of it. It is called the HOLY QURAN. If you can read the original text of that book (It is written in the Arabic language. Had you heared of this language? It is one of the most powerful and most beautiful languages humanity has even known).
If you know Arabic then it is best to read that book (the HOLY QURAN) in its original Arabic version. If not, it is translated in all the major language and if you contact any masjid (mosque) in your area the kind people who are there will be very happy to offer you a copy of the Quran, free of charge. Some of those facilities (mosques) may be having counselling services as well to people, which, if they have, they would normally offer them to you and others, also free of charge.
Habitually and thoroughly reading the Quran will strengthen your resolve to come off all the guilt feelings that you can ever store and will bond you with a supreme being. Generally, you will be able (especially when you do receive support from people in the masjid in your area) to build all the internal self-defence which you do or you will ever need in all kinds of let down situation you will ever come across in life. And there will be hundreds of them down the road. So get ready, and gear up nicely.
Now on to the external protection that you need immediately. First off, you would naturally want to shift that power which your chronic guilt feeling is keeping directed at your person (when you are the innocent victim. Because that feeling is a cause of avoidable problems and weakness which you have been suffering and which you have described in some details I your write up). Now and immediately you would need to to learn the skills with which you can shift that power and energy in such a way that instead of destroying you, you will make it it destroy both the guilt feeling which you have and subsequently any remnants of it - as well as the person who did or can do or would do you any violations. That is your immediate and first job to do now, as others above had said . The good news is that it is not only doable. It is also doable quickly and at a moderate price. For a started up, you will need a kicker, external help, until such time as you build your own self-defences and gain enough mass of the skills you need to acquire which you can re-enforce and renew without external help in the near future, as you shall gain greater maturity with the passage of time.
To get such external support, I suggest you seek female young ladies doing "Da'awah", borrowing words used by people of the Quran. Seek a limited number of them as your new friends. They are the best bet. Okay they should be your first resource in your given status and condition. Seek them out. Let a sister from there/them know outright that you reached the mosque population because you seeking help on a confidential and private basis. Once you are able to trust enough at least one of those fine sisters doing da’awah, then do not delay telling her all what you have in your heart.
I am sure you will only gain and you have absolutely nothing to loose if you take any of the mesaures suggested in this write up.
Sorry for your ordeal. But you have just gotten the right rope to jack you off it (congratulations babe!). Use it.

you should report this person and make sure he is punished. only when the people who harmed you are punished will you feel better. okay? please do it, report the guy who did this to you. if criminals were reported more, there would be much less problems.

You cant go beating yourself up for such a thing. You have done nothing to deserve that and nothing was your fault. Most parents are divorsed today so your not the only one going through this. Dont get angry at yourself. Be happy that you are still alive and are safe now.