My cousin wants me to be with him, I don’t know what to do…

I really hope that someone will read this and give me a solving good advice cause I’m desperate to hear it.
This is my story:
When I was very young (6 year old girl) I had a very special person with who I wanted to play the most and spend more time with.
That person was my first cousin and he was only 4 years older than me. He used to defend me when the kids were attacking me in
school because of the fact that I was very shy and didn’t talk to them. Probably they thought that I was dumb. And he was always
there to defend me and telling me that I shouldn’t listen to those kids because they are still under developed and that I was much
smarter than those kids. He was kind of like my hero. And when I asked him: “how come you’re always near, and why are you
defending me?” He said: “You are my little cousin. I can’t stand someone insulting you, and remember you are very smart girl and
a very cute one. Please don’t listen that kids anymore” He was so good to me, I loved him like an older brother. A couple years
his parents decide to sent him in other country and there to continue his studies. I cried a lot that day just because of him I remember
that like it was yesterday. But before he left he told me to stop crying because he will come back again to his family.
It passed so many years. I’m 22 now and everybody says that I’ve change so much (in a physical way) that I suddenly became a swan
from ugly duckling. I can feel that not because they are telling me, it’s because now they are more interested in having conversations and
spend more time with me. I feel very empty because all they can see in me is my look, appearance and not the real me. I’m not a shallow
person I see beyond that.
One day after many years in a foreign country, my cousin came back. When I saw him, I didn’t recognized him at first and even asked him
“who are you?” because he was so changed physically. He is now much taller and masculine, he is handsome, blond with blue eyes. But what
I liked the most about him is that he is the same person when he was 10. He is good to people, fights when see injustice, works very hard to
achieve his goal and like to spend his free time helping me with my exams and teasing me.
But one day when he was helping me with my homework, said that he must say to me something that is very important to him.
And he told me what I never aspect – that he is in love with me. I was shocked and very scared I couldn’t even move, but somehow
I came in my mind and escaped from him.
Whenever I see him I’m going far away from him and I try it to be not very noticeable because I don’t want my father to think that
something it’s not right because he knows how closer I’m with my cousin, I have two other cousins – his brothers but my father trust the most
to him because he was always protecting me when I was a little girl. And it would be suspicious if he sees that I’m avoiding him.
One day my cousin offered me to take me home with his car when he saw me in the street. I said no. But he told me that sreet was very
dangerous and that is very dark and because of that he can’t leave me to go by myself. I stopped for a second because he was right and
I deside to go with him. When we arrived he closed the doors and grabbed me behind my neck and telling me that he loves me and want to be
more intimate with me. I started to cry and got so scared, first because I’ve lost him (my cousin who I loved so much) and second because
he’s having not good thoughts about me, and he see me like an object of his desire. My own cousin wants me to have intercourse with him.
I never had a boyfriend and I’ve never been intimate with someone so when I think of that I’m so scared. Also he kissed me, but not like a cousin.
It was more of the way he want me to kiss him.It was so long, I tried to turn my head but he was so strong and it was my first kiss.
When he stopped I told him that was wrong and he shouldn’t did that, but he wasn’t listening to me, and he was begging me to give him a chance.

I don’t know what to do. He is not thinking of me like his little cousin anymore. He’s so changed
And I won’t tell this to nobody,because I can’t keep this to my self anymore that’s why I ask a good advice
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Sep 01, 2010
Hey, I know how you feel. We're the same my close cousin also love me but he got married with his wife and since then he still love me, we get along well... This happen when me and my cousins when so disco, we start to dance and We hold hands like soul mate I thought it was cousin holding few minutes later his bracelet and my clubbing dress hock together and he told me we meant for each other, and I was shock! I don't know what to say.
Honey Feb 28, 2013
do what u feel is right!
irproguy11
Answered Sep 01, 2010
It sounds like his side of the story at the link below. This is not just what he wants, it's an issue that affects you and the entire family. Tell your parents and his father. He needs to grow up and develop some self control.

http://www.ehelp.com/questions/10441007/im-desperate-to-have-her-and-shes-my-cousin
Rob
Answered Sep 01, 2010
OMG! he wrote that, you're right.
I read what he wrote and it's freaking me out. He's no longer the same.
I can't believe that he wrote this, the same cousin who I loved the most
having those kind of dreams of me. But I can't tell my father, or his parents I don't want them to lose confidence in him. My uncle is a very strict man and I don't want to give up from his son just because of me, no I can't let that to happen I will never forgive my self and after all deep down in me I love my cousin because I still see that boy who would give everything just to see me laughing, I really don't wanna lose him because he was my favorite cousin.
I just don't want to lose that boy and I miss him so much...

anonymouspear
Answered Sep 01, 2010
He's not a little boy anymore. He's an adult with some very misguided feelings. The reason I suggested bringing up the issue with the family is, your family has a stake in this. The two of you can deal with the family issue now or you can wait until they find out and the bomb goes off. Either way you will have to deal with it. As strict as his father might be, keeping it from him will only pack more powder in the bomb.
Rob Sep 01, 2010
yeah, rob is right, maybe he needs counseling, he sounds a little disturbed, tell your dad, and rob, good puzzle solving dude, kudos
gingerkid
Answered Jan 04, 2011
okay first .. He is a big moron ... Second what you need to do is hook him up with one of your friends .. He will love her then he will come to know that his feelings towards you are just lust . he just has studied so much and had no one else a girl female to think about when he was abroad then you so he develoved his feelings towards you when he was maturing . SO tell him this I don't love you and since I don't had any boyfriends or any male friend in my life I don't know what love is .. SO we need to see other people for now . Then you can continue with yourself and he will just forget you. Tell him he has hurted you by kissing him and would not want to see you for a while don't know how long to forgive you . And I don't need any apologies so please don't be sorry . When I will forgive you I will let you know . Don't tell him about the brother thing or anything he does'nt understand that cause he is in delusion . Now what you need to do is Don't be sorry and think about him . Discontinue any contacts with him . ANd try to e seperate from him . If your family memebers asks why you are doing that . Tell them you have grown up and so is he and its good to keep distance between . your parents won't suspect anythinga nd would also Like your judgement . also tell the story to any close friend of your's you trust .SO that when he tries to do something bad I am talking even RAPE ... SO that she would defend you and know that you had no such intentions . Don't be any respectful towards him . He needs to find himself again his soul . MAy god help him . may god bless you
Guidingpath
Answered Jan 26, 2011
mate his not tryn to scare u he loves u his ur cousin but yer so what (then again its ur life) but I beleave u should give him one chanse at lease one c how happy u and him would b but then again its up tio u and his all so wrote something it sounds like him I forgot what its call I think it was .. I love my cousin.... or something like that
pokemon01
Answered May 10, 2011
you know my situation is somewhat like you but the change is that I love my cousin truly not wanting sex or what I am a girl . I think if he really loved you he would tell not kiss you he would show he care for you I think he loves your beauty not you
haadiii08
Answered Feb 07, 2012
this is clearly a troll, look at the similarities between this story and the one written by the "guy". Would they really have covered the exact same things with the same structure?

those who read both and still bought it are all idiots
roxipockle
Answered Mar 29, 2012
i hav kind of the same issue!!
it's been less dan a year am going out wiv dis girl everyfing is kind of perfect btwin us but she is very close wiv 1 of his cousin!he lives abroad bt everytime he comes here he spends most of his time wiv my gf(his cousin) dan his gf!! well wen he coms he stays at her place anyway!!
now am abroad too n dat cousin came to her place again n now she wont txt me or skype like b4:( n d same fing happend last year!!!
she is 19 n he is 24!!n she even told me once dat b4 he used to com to our country for her!!!!now which cousin wud do dat?????
am I being 2 much or is der realy sumfing btwin dem???? how wil I no???
i wil realy appreciate any comments!!!
i realy luv her a lot n 4 me ive found d perfect 1!!!
bt I do feel sumfing is nt rite.....

sss
Answered May 20, 2012
Have any of you heard the term Genetic sexual attraction? If not, please do all of yourselves a favor and look it up. There's a lot of clear explanation of what has happened between this lady and her cousin. Mostly her cousin. This is a real phenomenon that happens to a lot of people all the time and there is help out there! Here's a web site you can go to that can be of great assistance. http://www.geneticsexualattraction.com/ Good luck with everything original poster and with your male cousin. Please pass on that information to him, It will certainly help him understand why he is having those feelings for you before it's too late and he does something both of you may regret later on.
helpster2012
Answered Oct 17, 2012
hey dear I had a same incidence with me this year only... I think he is just having Lust for you.nothing more than that.You have to say away with him.He is been craving for you like anything.My cousin begged m to me to have live in relation with him.11 years he did not talk to me.He is a moron too.
I think you should think about your future,career and if possible start dating someone as he is been close to you.
asmi400 Oct 28, 2012
Oh boy this is a bit sensitive situation.
so here's my advice........
it seems to me that you are ashamed of your cousin for telling you he loves you.
that's kinda normal to react in such a manner.
If you have any kind of feelings for him, you need to let him know in a very adult way. If you don't have any love for him the way he loves you, then you need to tell him in an adult way. I can see that he's desperate to sleep with you because you have become convenient to him by being his cousin. You need to find out from him if he truly loves you for you and not just lust.
tell him that he need to respect you as and adult and respect your feelings.
I know somewhere deep down that you have some kind of love for him, and if you decide to act upon it it would tear your families apart.
My dear, it is important to know what you want, and not let anyone force you in to making any decisions. I can tell that you enjoyed the Kiss, even though it was not what you expected for a first kiss.
it is natural to not have any feelings of love towards him because he has just returned after so long and you dont know him.
he loves you, ever since back then, when you were young. its just that you never realized it. when he left, it was devastating for him and he longed for you and grieved not knowing that he may never see you again or seeing you in the arms of another , not being there for you etc..
Please give him a chance to explain his feelings. all he wants to do is talk and for you to listen, then you can give him an answer.
If you choose to talk, meet at a public place like a restaurant or Library or coffee shop in this way you are protecting each other. especially yourself.
he seems to love you very much, and you don't get that everyday. if he is really in love with you, he must make the decision to marry you and settle down, only then you will know if he is telling the truth. if he is willing to do that and forget about family, then it is genuine. I say go for it. be with him.
In the end, its all up to you and your feelings towards him.
If you have to tell him off, don't do it by yourself, or just choose a public place to tell him and tell him in an adult manner. don't be angry etc..
I know that he has been chasing you, desperately , but its all to talk to you.
Kissing him should have ended with a slap, yet you choose not to .
please give him another chance at being a new person....
regards,
neo peace....
neo4366
Answered Dec 14, 2012
oh ya ya ya , ya ya ya , ya ... ya ya ....yea yea yea yea ...yea yea yea, ho ho ho ho ho, ...la la la la la , la la la , la la la , ho ho ho ho hooooooo........trollo lo lolo lo lo lo lol ol oyea yea yea, he he he he heeeeeee.

oh, ya ya ya , ya ya ya ya troll.
neo4366 Dec 14, 2012
Try to give him a chance cuz from the point of u . U truly care and love him !! Trust me he doesn't like u just for ur look cuz he obviously shows that he had feelings for u from the last just try to give him a chance I'm this situation myself but I'm the one who's in the foreign country and I'm planning to go back to his country thus summer and we use to do the same stuff when I was like 6-7 and he was like 10-11 if I were u I would give him a chance ! Well good luck :)
Barbiegotreal
Answered Feb 19, 2013
ask yourself if you love him and will you be happy with him ?...Get this into your head girl ...loving is not easy in itself..least of al loving your cousin and marrying him in this country...so evaluate ur situation...the way it sounds to me you wil hv to leave evry family relationships in ur life to be with him...if you love him and more importantly TRUST him to b wid u @ evry step...den kep it a secret til u guys r in a country ( trhough job or higher study)dt considers cousin marriage legal...then tell ur parents if u want to.. after marriage...

So if you love him and would regret not being with him for the rest of your life ..go ahead take a leap of faith...otherwise tell him upfront ur don't want this relationship. No one else can make this decision for you. Good Luck . God bless . Always hv a backup plan and enough courage and belief in yourself so that u can continue living on your own in the worst case when nobody is there for you .
catch22
Answered Apr 12, 2013
Wow your cousin huh? That's messed up. I can understand why you're so scared. I would be too. Tell him off. Get angry. Unless you feel the same about him. Then you have decide wether you want to deal with loving you cousin. That's really weird, but it's your life. Make wise choices.
Dawngurl777
Answered Apr 13, 2013
The worst part about this situation is how he forced her into the car.. how he grabbed her and how he kissed her...That for sure is not love...He is a sick person who needs help...Mainly because of how he forced himself upon her... having attraction to somebody is something that askew means cannot control but it's what we do with it that we can control.. you can be attracted to your cousin and have those feelings for her.. it's what we do with them that matters. it almost felt like you was going to rape her.
jawz06
Answered May 11, 2013

TIP: If it's not your answer to this question, please click "Leave a Comment" button under the question to communicate with the question owner.

Categories