13 Yr. Old Son May Have Foot/Shoe Fetish

I have been wondering for awhile if my teenage son maybe has a foot and shoe fetish. I had noticed not to long ago that my shoes in the closet didn't look as neat as I usually keep them organized. A couple of days ago I came home from work early and when I got to my room I saw my son laying across my bed with a pair of my high heelsup to his face and he was smelling the inside of the shoe as he was rubbing himself. Instead of getting all freaked out I slowly and quietly retreated so he wouldn't know I had seen him and I wanted to think about the best way to approach this. Now I'm sure some of you are thinking I was too calm for such a strange sight. When I was in college I dated a guy who had a shoe and foot fetish and once I got over the initial surprise and shock of such a weird attraction I learned it is a pretty common and harmless fetish. My boyfriend loved to sniff my shoes and I learned that particular odors/scents from the opposite sex are normal attractants of humans and most of us haven't realy explored this to know what scents may turn us on. So, I guess my question is how do I approach my son and encourage him to talk about something he may believe is too weird to talk about? Also, being I have no problems with him having this fetish, do I encourage him to sniff my shoes and what ever else he is doing? I have always had a very open relationship with my son being a single mom and being I accept his fetish, what can I say to let him know his attraction to girls and womens shoes and feet is normal for him but warn him about sharing too much about his fetish so as to not scare any of his friends and any girls his age? Thanks in advance for any "words of wisdom" any of you may be able to provide.

I have had a foot/shoe fetish since I can remember, I can recall stealing my babysitters shoes at the age of 4 and smelling them. At the time I didn't know why I was fascinated with her shoes, I just knew I liked the looks and the smell. It was later on in life that I discovered that there was a name for my behavior, foot/shoe fetish. I had always known that I was attracted to women s feet/shoes but thought I was alone in this and that I was some type of freak, thanks to the internet, I realized that I wasn't alone and there were both men and women with this fetish and that it was a pretty common fetish.

One thing I have learned in my 39 years is that every one with a foot/shoe fetish is different, we all exhibit different behaviors. A foot/shoe fetish can be harmless and can actually be good for a relationship as there are tons of romantic gestures that can be had by the other partner being supportive. Can you imagine foot rubs every night without asking for one? Or a partner that encourages you to buy shoes? There are definitely advantages in dating someone with a foot/shoe fetish. In having said that, there is the other side of the coin. There are many people (men and women) with a foot fetish that have difficulty controlling their urges and end up in trouble because of it. For some, it needs to be controlled or it can quickly grow to an overwhelming desire that leads to things such as the stealing of womens shoes or even worse. There are stories all over the internet about this. It is this behavior that gives us all a bad name.

I think the key is to be supportive and to let him know there is nothing wrong with his desires but with every desire there is right and wrong. I wouldn't tell him you walked in on him, however I would have a talk with him and let him know that you know about his fetish and that you are supportive. He shouldn't be smelling his mothers shoes, socks etc, that should be fixed or it could lead to other issues in the future. There and there are other ways to feed his overwhelming desires. I will leave that up to you.

There are celebrities in the world that are very open about their foot/shoe fetish, here are some for example:

Quentin Tarantino, Elvis Presley, Tommy Lee, Christian Slater, Jack Black, Britney Spears, Jay Leno, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Enrique Iglesias, Ricky Martin and tons more. I bet some of these names shocked you! Like I said, it is more common that you would think. Just be supportive!

You seem to have a very good handle on it already. I agree that making a big deal out of it is the wrong route. I'd just come home one evening, slip my shoes off, hand them to him and with friendly smile, say, "you might want to try these, I've worn them all day." Make sure the conversation after that remains cheerful and understanding, not criticism. The object is to get the issue up on the table where both of you can talk about it openly. Then you can provide the guidance on how he should deal with it.

If he's heard the story about the guy you dated in school with the fetish, that may have something to do with it. Kids that age experiment with a lot of things they hear about but the behavior never becomes part of their life.

Why would you bring it up to him? There is no reason to embarrass him like that, some thing s are left best unsaid.

Take him shoe shopping.

Ask_Sean Says, Confront him and speak about the situation calmly and yeh I know it'l be embarasing for him and you but you'l need to get it sorted.

I think you're doing the right thing and approaching the situation in an adult manner. I'm a shoe fetishist and have been all my life. Unfortunately I didn't have the support and understanding that you're proposing for your son. So I had to find myself; it took three failed marriages and lots of heartache until I was able to understand myself. Now I'm completely happy with my life. I live alone with my shoes. Fortunately I'm a shoe fetishist, and not a foot fetishist. Foot fetishists need people; I don't. I think foot fetishists need more support than shoe fetishists, so go for it, Richmond Girl! I think you're great.
DennisJapan

http://www.jahsonic.com/PsychopathiaSexualis.html

Hello, here is a link to “The Bible” on all sexual behavior. If you want to understand your son at the deepest level, take time the read the section about shoes and feet in this book.

Without going into my own back ground, I can let you know that this fetish is about power, believe it or not? There is a reason for everything, and even your son may not know what is going on himself. He is NOT going to come to you and say, “Wow, mom, your shoes smell fantastic”, you did the right thing by not confronting him. There could be an incident with your son where he was hurt or embarrassed by a woman waring high heels, and possibly lowered his eyes and viewed her shoes. Something as seemingly as harmless as an incident that was no big deal at the time could have been the trigger that set him on his path? I don’t know if it is worth trying to find out what happened, or maybe it is?

I hate to say this, and please don’t take it the wrong way, but it looks like your son is desperate? He has no other outlet for his desires except going in your closet. It would appear that he recognizes your power too, and his behavior is about trying to gain his own power at this point. It is for this reason, if you can find out what happened, you may be able to help him? I’m sure that my mom knew about me, in fact, she sent me to my cousins house one time for an overnight stay, and her shoe closet was just too much for me to pass up, although I did not do anything. I remember her coming in when she thought I was asleep, and she went right to her shoe tree. I knew it was a test from my mom.

All and all, your son is at the very beginning stages of this, and what the outcome will be, even he will not be able to tell you at his age of 13yo. He may get over it?

I can say that you are a woman with tremendous love for your son, and there in lies the real power. It is your love that can help him become the best person he can be...:-)

Holly Molly!

What can I say.

Im 29 years old and have had my fetish since the age of about 6ish...

I have to say you are a very understanding person, to not have rushed in a bellowed the child to tears. That definetly would not have helped, and would have left the child really scared what was going to happen now that his mother new his 'secret'!

Im not sure if encouraging the boy to endulge how ever is good. For me..... my desires are only making me miserable and I also do things which (I get away with) but which would also be deemed socially unacceptable.

I too im disgusted to say, started with my mothers shoes. (shakes head) but I forced my self to stop, as I knew that I should definetly not be mixing my sexuallity with my mother. So I broke that behaviour!

However, I did and still do indulge, but more with people whom a sexual attraction is socially acceptable. But the problem with me, is that my urges are somewhat compulsive now. Given the oppurtunity I will engineer a way to get my self beneath the desk of the good looking girl in the next door office at work, sniff and give those wonderfully sexy yet worn and dirty heels and good lick (they leave heels under desk for meetings etc). This is not me justifying my actions or what ever the word is Im looking for, im just giving you an example of the things your son will be compulsed to do especially if you encourage it.

The second problem, which is related is just like gate way drugs lead to hard drugs, well so too can foot/shoe fetishism lead to hard forms of sexuality, such as bdsm etc..... The two have a symbiotic relationship. At least they did for me.

The power and the fantasy is fulfilled through such things as trampling, mistresses etc etc etc..... all within the domain of bdsm.

My advice would be do not scare the boy, and make him think, he cannot confide in you about such matters. However, please do not encourage him either. This things, are by and large still not socially acceptable behaviours, plus why encourage him to get hooked on to something that will last a life time, when he still has the chance to escape it altogether.

On the other hand, dont despair. I paint a picture of doom and gloom. It doesnt have to be like that. This fetish has a huge specturm in adults. It can range from innocent foot massage, to more sensual toe sucking - foot kissing, and thingswhich I will not put down in words!

I think another thing you should be warry of and prepared for is the internet!

Up untill 1999, I only ever had a few brief little things I got from Tv, magazines and my imagination. However, I went to University in 2000, and the first night I was alone with my pc and the internet, I couldnt belive my eyes. To say that was the biggest event in my life so far would be an understatement. I had everything I ever dreamed off, and at 10000% the intensity.

Your going to have to get the balance right I think. Not overpowering nor too liberal. Allow him his freedom, but try to also keep in the loop. Please do not let him get addicted to internet porn, its a huge problem for me and Im stuck now.

My fetish has had over 20 years to develop, what realistic chance do I have of denying it?

Im reaching a crossroads. Do I seek proffesional counceling to try to rid my self of these desires, or do I plunge head first in to the dark and murky world of my fetish... ie fetish clubs, meeting like minded people etc etc etc...

I hope this post, acted like a crystal ball, to a potential future for your son.

By the way, Im not a complete loner, no hoper with no freinds. I have a good job, earn good money, am a good person with values, but on the other hand, I have a shoe fetish, and view bdsm porn. Im still learning the skills to value my self and inreturn learning to deal with and be comfortable around the opposite sex, without feeling like Im worthless etc....

Atcually, that makes me think, the absolute best thing you can get your son to do, is be socialable with the girls. Even if he's fetish developes, he will learn along the way the skills neccessary to be comfortable around the opposite sex.

http://askzack.wordpress.com/

Some insights from someone who is also going through it.

RichmondGirl - It sounds like you are on the right path. It is good that this young man has such a caring mother. I agree with your decision not to let your son know that you saw him with your shoes. I also agree with the other posters who suggested that you need to approach this situation delicately. gemeyildiz provided some excellent insight into what is behind a shoe/foot fetish and provided a good definition of it as a sexual dysfunction. You asked what is the best way to approach him about the topic. As is has been several months since your post I would assume that you have done so already. I can tell from you post that you would have handled the discussion very sensitively and kindly. I would encourage you now if you haven't already done so to discourage him from going to your shoes or feet. However you handle the fetish in general, it is not okay for him to project those feelings onto you. I would suggest that you focus on teaching your son honour, respect, and self-worth. If these are difficult areas for you as well, I would suggest counselling may be of assistance. When your son sees you modelling these behaviours he will benefit as well and you may see a decline in his dysfunctional behaviours.

You may think he is on a path of desperation, but trust me, when he gets past the frustration of exploration, say through mid 20's, and sorts out his desires, he will have no shortage of female fans. Most all of the women I have confessed my desire of "pretty female feet" to love it. First, the honesty in confiding this "taboo" is endearing. Second, if it is incorporated into a healthy sexual relationship, a foot fetish can heighten the experience for both partners. And third, what woman doesn't like a foot massage/pampering? If she has pretty feet and knows it, she will have already desired a man to worship her.

A foot/shoe fetish is the least of your worries for a teenage son. Until he "ruins" a pair of your shoes, let him continue his path, unabated. He can't get an STD from a foot/shoe, or bring one home pregnant!

I'm 32 years old. I had a shoe fetish since age four. My mother was just as supportive as you are : ) I wouldn't confront him about this. I would just sit him down and say "if there is anything you would like to talk about, DO NOT BE ASHAMED", IM YOUR MOTHER AND I LOVE YOU! In the meantime, take him shoe shopping! just look for shoes for you, yoll see the sexual tension, then after that day, sit him down and ask him which shoes you get? hell reply honestly. This will be the best gateway for discussion. HAVE A SLUMBER PARTY! invite an even number of male/female friends. If not a slumber party, have a nice bi weekly cook out. get him active in some social activities : ) Hell turn out ok.

I suggest you leave him alone its his life, if he wants to talk about it then talk about it, but once you start interfering with other peoples private fantasies you have stepped over the line. Besides its not your shoes you need worry about its your knickers.. lol :)

Hi

As one who did what your son did all through my teenage years, I always felt guilty and ashamed and was in constant fear of getting caught. Thirteen is a very sensitive stage, though I had an aunt who loved foot rubs from age 8 and would always ask me if her feet semelled as she lifted it to my nose.

What I wouold do, instead of handing him my shoe after a long day and asking him if he like it, I would come home, take off my shoes and leave thgem near the door. I would also leave pairs of my shoes around the house in conspicuous places where he would find them.

I would also make little hints and comments like, when you come home from work and take your shoes off: "Gee I hope the semell of my shoes doesn't bother you"

And when your girl friends are over and he is in earshod, I would talk loud enough and tell the story of your ex-boyfriend and how you thought it was neat that he got aroused from sniffing your shoes.

Next I would be barefoot around the house a lot and get into the habbit of asking him to get your shoes and when he would hand them to you say: "Gee these seem to smell a little" then hand them to him and ask what he thought. If he seemed to like it, you could say: "I put powder in my shoes. How do they smell"?
Then if he seemed to like it you could tell him about your ex-b/f.

After a while going like this, one day you could remark that the inside of one of your shoes was wet and say to him: "My old b/f loved cumming my in my shoes. I liked it. In fact, I loved to watch" Tell him it is OK.

Then finally, one day, I would park your car around the corner and stay home then quietly surprize him while he was sniffing my shoes then tell him it was OK.

Then I wouold make it a point to invite girl friend over and tell them they had to leave their shoes at the door then take your friends to a different part of the house. When they were all settled in thye basement, I would come back upstairs and ask your son if he checked out all of your friends shoes and which ones smelled the sexiest.

At a later time I might suggest to your friends that you are heading over to good will w/some of your old shoes and did they have any old one they wanted to donate then give them to your son and tell him to have fun sniffing and cumming in them

I am living w/a husband whom has a foot fetish and it has destroyed our sexual life... Unfortunately I didn't catch on to the foot thing until a week before our wedding date when I confronted him and he reluctantly confirmed. I thought we could work through it but we haven't been able to. We've been married almost a year and have been in marriage counseling for 9 mths... I blame myself for not catching onto this sooner and live with the regret that we have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT desires when it comes to sexuality. I could be completely naked...nothing from him... he touches my toes...and he's totally interest and I'm disgusted and completely turned off by this.
I cannot forecast the future for your son. I just hope he doesn't end up in a relationship similar to mine. Since you are seeing this now and he's still very young...hopefully you can work with him and guide him through this trying time. As an earlier response had pointed out, it's not always socially acceptable with everyone and although everyone deals with all different obstacles in their life, this one could pose to be a bigger hurdle down the road.

Okay, the first thing that needs to be done is....you need to break this habit of him smelling his MOTHER'S shoes! Equating sexual feelings with something that his MOTHER wears is outrageous. I've had a foot fetish for as long as I can remember. Women with pretty feet just drive me insane. Fortunately I have quite a few women that indulge this fetish for me by giving me footjobs, allowing me to lick, smell and suck their feet, etc. I'm involved with a beautiful woman that allows me to satisfy my desire for her sexy feet whenever I want. I also love to make love to her so her feet aren't the only thing I want. Having a foot fetish and liking female feet is just like a man who likes breasts or legs or a woman's behind. The problem is when one allows that fetish to go above and beyond a natural desire. I think you need to talk to him and tell him that while he may have a foot fetish and that it's okay, it is NOT okay for him to sniff and desire YOUR shoes and feet. That's almost incestual.

Buy some used womens shoes at gerage sales. Tell him you got them for your self, but they were slightly the wrong size. Here, maybe a girl from school may want to have these. I BET HELL KEEP THEM! THATS OK, least these are not his mother's shoes.

im a girl and I too have a foot fetish!! not only do I enjoy playing with other women's feet, I enjoy playing with my own.
i take daily pictures of my beautiful feet and have made a living selling well worn goods such as shoes and socks.
anyone interested in talking my yahoo is
princessmandy19

:O)

I would love 2! ^

Is it an attraction to the high heels, pheromones or both? Perhaps he was looking very closely at the details of the shoe or sandal and you mistook it for "sniffing". Regardless of the attraction, it is a "normal" part of life (perhaps a very important part of life for some people).

Upon stumbling on this question and reading all the posts on this subject and trying to put myself in the boy's shoes (pun intended), I believe the best thing you could do is give him a book titled "THE SEX LIFE OF THE FOOT AND SHOE" by William A. Rossi. ISBN # 0-89464-573-0 (HARD COVER) or ISBN # 0-89464-756-3 (PAPERBACK). And hope for the best!

Either simply give the book to him mentioning either your ex-boyfriends fetish or saying that you have noticed your shoes in disarray a few times and think he might be exploring different ideas, infatuations, passions or fondness for high heels. Mention that this book can and will shed some light on the subject in an interesting way.

An alternative would be to leave the book lying around where he would be sure to find it (it will probably be hard for you to find it for a while though, so be sure to get a copy for yourself).

This book will explain a lot to him (and you) about this somewhat delicate subject. It will also "break the ice", and allow communication between you and your son.

You might possibly ask him what styles of shoes and sandals he prefers (and why), opening up lines of communication between you and your son and go from there. Always remember that, a fetish can involve a limitless range of objects, activities or actions. Therefore, keep an open mind and try not to look "shocked" by anything you see or hear. This is a very important subject for your son and the last thing you want to do is embarrass or ridicule him, causing him shame or guilt.

Remember that a fetish is very seldom "broken" and therefore does not need to be "fixed". With that thought in mind, the choices you have is:

1. Ignore it. It won't go away, and it will cause your son to take longer to find
out what is going on with his own body.

2. Try to stop it. This will make matters worse and drive him deeper
underground, more cautious, secretive and making him feel that something
is wrong with him.

3. Try to educate him (and yourself) about such things, explaining that there
are many different ways in which all the people of the world "see" things,
opening up a vast array of intelligent conversation. Always keeping in mind
that you can't know what you don't know!

There are also a few websites that could act as a support group to some extent such as sandalsx.com, hhp.org and heels4men.net.

for more information, feel free to email me at sandalfetish1@gmail.com

Good luck

Sandalfetish1

I would like to talk to some one who has a foot/shoe fetish. I have a foot/shoe fithis. And I have many ?s. Am a 16 year old boy who has this fetish. Any one out there that can help me

I am gonna say this might help. im a 14 year old boy with a foot fetish and if I were u I would talk to him. sometimes I wish I could tell my mom but im afraid she would be disgusted. if anyone ever found out about my fetish I dont know what I would do. Take it from a child it would be very very very embarrissing.
so you should talk to him before it gets the best of him and he trys somthin.
-chris

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Just be weary if he meets strangers that have the same. He needs to ensure he has safe fun.

Some guys and girls take it too far and get turned on by humiliation which can often lead to crushing etc and suffocation...

Okay, I am an 11 year old boy, who just found out what a 'foot fetish' is on the Internet. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone here! But, just LOOKING at feet doesn't give me any pleasure. I have to masturbate with my penis to feel the pleasure of seeing the feet. Does anyone know what this is called, and/or what I am doing is done by others? I know that masturbation is also pretty common. Any help is GREATLY appreciated.

I like the idea of while at the mall, just dropping into a ladies shoe store for a few minutes to see some shoes for yourself, "if he doesn't mind". While checking out shoes for yourself, ask his opinion on a few pair. If he responds favorably with perhaps an opinion on design or color, compliment his observance. This could possibly open the door a crack to more involved shoe talk later at home. And, who knows, he may have an eye for shoe design....

Shoe Fetish – Boot Fetish

I have spent perhaps 25 years in gathering and writing this material which I included in a book titled “Out of the Closet” The life and times of a shoe fetishist. I have posted a lot of research and accumulated data to help in your quest for answers. The WEB page is structured for mature adults over the age of 21 that already know who they are and want to gain from my quest to accumulate more information and a few cases.

The data can be found;

shoefetish-bootfetish.com

altsexshoefetish.com

Shoe fetish.us.com

I hope you find this material helpful --

Best Wishes and the good news is that for most a shoe fetish is just plain fun. For a few it can lead to a lonely life style we all have choices.