How to fight custody arrangement - children deemed "brainwashed"

Father convinced psychologist that Mother brainwashed the kids into hating him. Thus, court would not consider that the kids did NOT want to live with Father. Oldest is 13.

Background: Father is a very good lier. He also has a sister in the county court system and a brother in the neighboring court system. Sister, family, & friends will lie for him in court. He's very presentable and believable.

i.e. Father followed Mother & kids for an hour when moving out & then called the cops that someone was stealing his stuff. 3 cop cars surrounded Mother & kids, kids screaming, scared to death. They were in their grandfather's truck which he had for decades. Father admitted to the officer that he "thought" it might be them. Kids KNOW that he knows it was them. He also lied to the psychologist & told her that he didn't know it was them. Psychologist told the kids that it was just a "misunderstanding" and they s/ forgive Father. Kids know better. Now they don't trust Father or psychologist.

Mother does not try to turn the kids against Father. She tries to encourage them to give him a chance. Evaluator ruled in favor of Father & they now have joint custody.

When the kids are with Father, they get grounded for having ANY contact w/ relatives/friends of Mother - i.e. if they see Auntie in WalMart, they canNOT even say "hi" w/o getting grounded. They cannot even look at her.

Children now HATE their father. They despise him. He doesn't realize that when they turn 18 they will have nothing to do w/ him and he'll probably never see his grandchildren.

Father harassed Mother and still does. He's the one who cheated and wanted out of the marriage. Mother admits that it takes 2 to make a marriage work but Father completely blames Mother for everything.

Since the oldest is 13, is there anyway HE can sue to be able to live with his Mother full-time instead of half-time? Can HE sue to have Mother be full-time guardian? How to go about it?

Other options?

Also, father wants to revisit custody arrangements. Who knows what he has up his sleeves now - probably full-custody request. He's a control freak and wants everything his way. Please help the children (4 of them). Thanks.
Asked Jun 24, 2010
Most of the answers to the questions you ask depend on the laws in the state that has jurisdiction. Some states appoint an attorney to represent the children's interests. Any attorney in your area would know the procedure there.

Making the children the rope in a tug-of-war between two families is insane. Everybody should concentrate on lowering the emotional level and finding a way to do business with each other until the children are grown even if that means remaining silent when your emotions are screaming to be let out.

Regardless of what the adults in the situation think or say, the children are going to form their own opinions. As they grow older they will remember each of you as someone who offered them comfort and support or as someone who kept fanning the flames in a fire they wanted no part of.

They will see the father for who he is. You want to position yourself as the safe harbor they can come to when that happens. If the legal battle continues, they are likely to run away and you never hear from them again.

Answered Jun 24, 2010

TIP: If it's not your answer to this question, please click "Leave a Comment" button under the question to communicate with the question owner.