Why am I such a loser and why should I still be alive

I have been a loser all my life I was not good in school I had no friends and nobody really liked me. My marriage was a joke, I had a son who my mom and another lady raised cuz I wasnt good enough. I am 43 years old,ugly fat, I have no purpose in life I tried going back to college but failed at that was in a car wreck and I am in pain all the time. I have no meaning to live anymore I am to stupid to kill myself I have tried and even failed at that

Just Relax.. Ok?

Now ..your problem is that you seem to be concerned only about yourself. Just try living for others.. and don't expect any good from anyone...

Your attitude should be "the more you hate me, the more I love you."

Dont ever give up.. Life has something good in store for everyone.

dont attempt suicide, think of the good things and please dont think of ending your life , if you feel beautiful you are beautiful, try and reinvent yourself, try and get acheive your dream, get a job, then think about love, try to get painkillers,and get toghether with family, do what you want to do!

Hey man,i'm 14 years old and my life's really messed up, but I guess its not too bad too, i'm a kind of a nerd but I do have some friends though, anyways, if u're lookin for a friend, plz do send me a friend request, the name is Drona Negi of facebook.

As crazy as it sounds, we don't get our beliefs about ourselves because of what happens to us, rather it's the reverse: What happens to you depends on what you believe about your self. A person who believes he/she is smart will study and think and become smart. A person who believes they can't, will not try so their belief that they can't do it becomes true. The only difference between a winner and a loser is what you believe about yourself.

I'd memorize this and say it every day:

If you think you're beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win but believe you can't,
It's almosy for certain, you won't.

Life's races are never ever won
By the stronger or faster man
Sooner or later, the one who wins
Is the one who BELIEVES he can

Everyone is good at something you just have to find it out :)

Hi Lauren Morley. I felt the same way. I was in an accident after dating an abuser and I feel the whole world is an abusive place sometimes especially after you see someone wierd after it happens. Then two of my good friends died right after and now I'm starting to ask all these questionls. Why does alchohol affect people in a bad way? I liked it when I was drinking. But I never did anything. Why is the same people walking around in a weird way still to even though I don't?

you might benefit from this short article I happened to read the other day. it talks about the beliefs and seems to be a nice concept.

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/211513/Understanding-Irrational-Beliefs

First, the fact that you reached out here shows you are not a loser. The fact that others have responded to share with you, shows you are not a loser. Secondly, where else can you reach out and start participating in your community. Maybe a hobby group where you can learn a new skill or volunteer at the SPCA. What do you feel passionate about and find a way to express that. There will be a place for it.
By beginning to step out into your life and seeing what is truly available for you, you will start to have more pleasurable experiences and make some wonderful connections. Pick an area you are interested in and find out what your community offers. You will begin to feel differently and more whole.
Keep on asking questions and connecting with people like here too. We are all social beings and need each other to grow. You can also search for ways to help with your physical pain as well. Physical therapy, Bowen therapy, cranial sacral or meditation can all help you with that.
Lastly, you are unique in this world and we need you to create your song. We all make up a cosmic symphony and you are an instrument that plays special music all of its own. We are not complete without your sound.

Ask_Sean Says, First of all your not a loser, you should be out going to the bar or karokes (if thats your thing) and try and fit in. I know what you mean when nobody likes you around and dont intaract with you cause I had that in 1st Year now im one of the coolest (not THE coolest) What I did was stay strong and ask your family then they may help you.

Start by looking after your apprence and then flirt around with the girls (meh thats what I did (it works)) If that doesnt work then try and make friends like by being funny, smart and cool.

Just relax and things should start to look up I promise things will get better :D

(but what do I know im only 13, 14 this year and im in 3rd Year) Sssh dont tell I like this site :DD (big smile <)

get your son back if they wont call the police take it to court his your son you are the one who should desind witch path to go tho not your mum not anyone else u are the only one dont give up you got a reson to live we all do hold in the good things come to them who waits dont give up

DUDE!! don't commit suicide!! plz don't if you do, I may not know you but I would probably cry ='( trust me, everyone that is born into this world has a purpose in life so don't give up!! =) try thinking positive, look I know its hard but... mm how do I put this... lets say ur stuck in a tunnel right now, at this point ur probably at the darkest point inside the tunnel, but if you think positive and keep on going, you'll be out of that tunnel in no time =) ok? life is difficult but if you give up now, you'll never be able to be happy.... everyone has felt or is feeling the same way you are, they may not say so but trust me everyone has, you're not alone =) SO DON'T DIEE!!! =(
-Rukia1212

My humble advice would be to accept yourself for precisely who and what you are, and be content with what you have all the while trying to better yourself when you can. Don't be to hard on yourself if you fail. We only get one life so don't waste it trying to be what you are not, or cannot be.

I'm going to start by saying...

STOP IT, just STOP IT.

Who wants to be like that? Trying to be unhappier than anybody else, then taking the easy way out and blaming your unhappiness for all your problems. All you can do is brag about how much more unlucky you are than everybody else. And even when you're not, you're the kind of person who'll make sure that you are. Nobody likes to hear the truth about themselves. Does it hurt your feeling that much, telling you that lots of people are just like you? I wasn't wrong. It's tough for everybody. There's nothing special about you. But you don't get it, that's what makes you such a meanie.

Your marriage went down the drain because most marriages do, there is nothing special about your marriage going down the tubes, join the masses of unhappy people that might as well have just stood on their balcony and tossed away half their savings. The fact that you have a kid that your mother and someone else raise is very lucky and so are you, because a lot of kids get messed up out there being stuck with a bad parent. So instead of feelings sorry for yourself you should say thank you mother for allowing me to wallow in my self pity. you should take the opportunity she has given you and even if it is watching paint dry all day long you should do whatever you want to do. Don't have enough money? Tough most of us don't, be creative, don't be lazy. Enlightenment will never come to those who do not wake when it is time.

It really pisses me off when I hear people complain like this. Talking about killing themselves. I know it sounds like nonsense to you but your life is precious, to me it is, there are so many amazing people I know that have died. I for one have lost two children and am unable to have any more. And you know what? I would much rather have them alive than you any day,I'd much rather have them alive than just about anybody I know, even my own family. But that is not how life is, it's UNFAIR. But to hear you, taking the gift of life that you have been given that I would give anything to have for those people that meant everything to me, it disgusts me. Did all that suffering make you a better person? Does all your patience make you feel better about yourself? Me, when it comes to suffering, I'd rather put it behind me.

When things really get that bad, people do what ever they can to escape it. If it's not bad enough to do that, you weren't suffering enough to want to run away. I don't know how to describe it, but you know that feeling when you want to die, and you know that fighting on won't do any good? Talk is easy. Whatever you suffered wasn't bad enough to try to escape from or die trying. Nobody's gonna feel sorry for people who drown themselves in their own misfortunes. After all, living your own life is a full-time job. If you had someone sidling up to you all the time and wanting you to feel all sorry for them, you'd get sick of them. Don't you think?

Honestly,in my opinion, It's asking an awful lot, expecting other people to like you when you don't even like yourself. Isn't it a pain always having to be such a stick-in-the-mud like that? It looks like you ended up hating yourself too. Sure must suck being you... But the problem is, you can never run away from yourself.

hi :

you said you are a loser because u cant do certain things that you are expected by the society to do.That doesnt make u a loser.

Do one thing run away ............
go to some place where people dont know who you are.then find a calm place like some mountain or forest .try to go there every day.Then u will see nature interact with u .that will make u feel better.and will give u a different view point.Try it out I tried and won....

people are incositant shallow jerks. Hate them.

So lets see what makes you a loser: You say that...

"I was not good in school"
I don't think anyone was ever good at school. Nerds had social problems, jocks had academic issues, average (Joe's & Jane's) felt like they didn't fit in. So this cannot be a valid reason. Yes you are allowed to smile even just a little bit:)

" I had no friends and nobody really liked me"
Well the good news is that you HAD no friends so what you have NOW?. I gather that this is related to your youth time again yeah been a parent ain't easy hey. Can you honestly say that you never never ever ever had anyone that you knew, and greeted and had a little chat on one occasion and several occasions and that one you were younger than 10 you played with no one? I think all of us has/had a least 1 friend in our life time. Friends is like a Color Cube Puzzle you have to match the colors up, some prefer to make a pattern, or do their own thing others prefer to match them up, how do you prefer you Color Cub Puzzle to be complete? Then use that as a starting point in BUILDING friendships that LAST as friends are not really forever, but in general people have about 5 (and thats a high number) friends who stick together for a long time.

"My marriage was a joke"
No, it was an eye opener:) You were treated like sh*** but hey half the men/women in the world are treated like that. Women unfortunately get the worst of it. So have a heart, more women are treated like sh*** than men in a marriage. So it just means you are that closer to finding someone who won't treat you like that.

"I had a son who my mom and another lady raised cuz I wasnt good enough"
Hell man, my mom told me in my days "no women would want me" my sister told me "you will amount to nothing", and the outcome I stuck to my values, beliefs, and people don't see as any of the above, in fact the opposite and no I ain't that great looking according to our lovely media or society just because of me. What people say, and do that concerns us. Does not make us that UNTIL we choose to lay down and accept it. That is your son, and you should fight for him no matter what or who gets in your way but they again comes to what you believe WITHIN. PS: I get alone very well with my mom and sister no grudges or going back to the past, its what I choose.


"I am 43 years old, ugly fat"
Age no one can stop. Fat, well now their is something we can change. Lets be honest, if you feel that you want to lose the weight then you need to know that its going to take blood sweat and tears to lose it and don't be a fool who thinks that it will happen in a month, because it will not, more like a few months but it all depends on HOW much you put IN that determines HOW much gets OUT:) plus you will start to feel so so so much better inside, emotionally.

"I have no purpose in life"
Their is no purpose in life! Ask someone who comes from a wealthy background, poor background, and one who grew up as an orphan what their purpose in life would be. 9 out of 10 it would lie along the lines of something similar to their background, but what do you think the orphan would say and the poor one? Makes you wonder or does it. Purpose is like a company's mission statement very deary and mundane would you not say. Change the word purpose to LIFE, then it sounds like "I have no life in life" Now answer this, what is life in life? That is a question that only each and ever individual irrespective of background would have to answer according to what life means to them, and that is what determine our choices, and where we will be tomorrow.

"I tried going back to college but failed at that"
Why did you back? Answer that. You only failed because you stopped trying. Think about it, if you never stopped then you never failed but because you did thus you failed. In a nutshell, again it comes to choices but what motivates us to keep trying are the reason why we are doing it.

"Was in a car wreck and I am in pain all the time"
This can be solved by a doctor. Its like tooth ache, when it pains we see a dentist and they do their thing and the pain is gone, but if we take a pain killer it goes away temporarily but will come back, then eventually the tooth decays away. Pain happens for a reason, its our body saying Hey You! something is not right, please go check it out as I am unable to fix it myself. So, I sincerely hope you able to have it checked out and that it is nothing serious.

"I have no meaning to live anymore"
Okay this one should be at the end it more like a closing but because you choose not to put it at the end and it would be a inner choice, hints to me that you actually want to live, in fact you want to live your life and not the next persons or how society wants you to live it. So, give me 5 you on the path of great change.

"I am to stupid to kill myself I have tried and even failed at that"
In your one of your previous statements you said "I am fat" well if you are doing nothing about it then you are busy killing yourself. So you not stupid at all and if you have done nothing about your fat, then you have not failed at all. Before you answer this, think about it carefully, killing yourself is a sin, one that damns your soul. Now, if you think killing yourself will make your life better then you a fool. A fool to think that by not trusting in a higher being (I believe in God) than you, you are actually saying that you are better than the higher being who has more knowledge in power than any of us. That is what suicide actually represents that are better than something more greater than us and what reward lies for those who think or make their choices that leads to that.


I had many many friends but as life moved on so have they, some just broke away, and I am glad for that because I can see their true persona now. Something that does not compliment me. Life has never been easy, nor sweet but I never stopped believing that I could change it. Finding Mrs right is still a mission and one that I am up for because I will never stop believing no matter what wrongs have been done to me in the past, and no matter what happens.

A loser is not one who rights down their reasons why they are loser, they are one who have seen their destiny and now have the power to achieve it by change certain things through what they have experienced. Most people have not experienced this. I hope you see the positiveness in your post, the hope and the future of it. When the world lets you down, don't frown be glad for your heart lies closer to God.

I would like to thank all that posted here. I am not even the fat guy - just a dude with a gun. Maybe I will put it away. Thank you.

Jesus, nobody should kill themselves. There's enough death in the world. Spend time with your son. Take him shopping, or something. Go on a diet. Take lots of rest and get over the crash slowly. Get a job, or if you already have one work your way up. I know what it's like to fail a lot, it's frustrating but you just have to pick yourself up and keep trying.

I've picked myself up only to fall even harder. I've done this for years and it's only getting worse. I'm 51 been married almost 30 yrs only to find that he's a cheater and lier. To tell you the truth I'm so physically and emotionally drained. I have a 22 daughter and a 14 year old son. Last year I went back to work after 13 years due to the fact that I was a stay at mom. Last week I lost my job because I got to the point that I just couldn't take it no more being stepped on. I've been a door mat for so long that now i'm all worn out. For me I feel like there is no more future and lets be real I'm 51 how much more life do I have? I'm DONE!