Why am I such a loser and why should I still be alive

I have been a loser all my life I was not good in school I had no friends and nobody really liked me. My marriage was a joke, I had a son who my mom and another lady raised cuz I wasnt good enough. I am 43 years old,ugly fat, I have no purpose in life I tried going back to college but failed at that was in a car wreck and I am in pain all the time. I have no meaning to live anymore I am to stupid to kill myself I have tried and even failed at that
Asked Jun 08, 2010
i feel the same way life is never what u expect people say there is something everyone is ment to do in there life time thats not always true there are thousands of people that feel thesame and kill thereselvs and the world keeps going after there dead they wernt ment to do anythingf point is killing urself wont do anything the world keeps turning with or without u shishir51423 has got it wrong ur living ur life by expectations of others live for u and forget that shit about the one who belives more wins a person with no legs can belive all he wants to win a race against the fastes man in the world but he wont if u want to kill urself fine do it but nothing will happen but if u want try giving life another chance u might find happieness u might not nothing is certain but at least u can say tried
Fuck it! Kill yourself! There is no master plan, No god, and no hope. If your not rich, good looking, or super genius smart, your a fucking tool and a drain on the world....im thinking about eating a bullet myself....see you in the afterlife...though I doubt there is one....
Plan a trip, call your relatives, say you are going with a friend, pretend you are happy. Fall off a cliff or something. Nothing wrong with it, rather be dead then live in mental hell.

I'm in mental hell 24/7 even when I do my hobbies which I used to love, and I see no way out , BUT I'm 22 and I should at least try my hardest first.
I think you should to, just try your absolute best, Do everything you can before you go, maybe you can find enjoyment with people like you?
You might have already and if you can truly say to yourself I tried my hardest. I think it is ok to go, and you can go with peace.

Ps: you can be my friend if ya want. I have some tricks to deal with my mental hell, and find joy in things. You can say you have lived, therefore you can still live, you just have to lower your standards and find fun things to do.
Blarghz Nov 25, 2012
I am alone, even though I am still living with my wife who told me a few months ago that after 25 years of marriage she wanted to get divorced and won't even talk to me. I used to accuse her of cheating on me but she wasn't. This was after I had spent 3 months in a crisis center in a local hospital after I half assed try to kill myself. I had suffered from depression for several years before and then bad financial troubles hit and impending job loss, which is going to happen in the next 2 weeks.
I was hoping to maybe start a new life but anytime I even try to talk with someone when I am out in public I am rejected and most people won't even look at me. I feel like I am in a black hole and have no hope. I have 2 grown up kids that I hate to scar them by leaving the planet, but the mental pain and lonliness is unbearable. I used to be the most upbeat person you could meet.
people-- relax. you have much to live for-- if you can just help some one else. life is a gift to share with others. no matter how much education, or how thin or attractive you are, nothing matters unless you can help someone else. then, everything matters. so go serve someone else, and you will realize that you have purpose... really!
So lets see what makes you a loser: You say that...

"I was not good in school"
I don't think anyone was ever good at school. Nerds had social problems, jocks had academic issues, average (Joe's & Jane's) felt like they didn't fit in. So this cannot be a valid reason. Yes you are allowed to smile even just a little bit:)

" I had no friends and nobody really liked me"
Well the good news is that you HAD no friends so what you have NOW?. I gather that this is related to your youth time again yeah been a parent ain't easy hey. Can you honestly say that you never never ever ever had anyone that you knew, and greeted and had a little chat on one occasion and several occasions and that one you were younger than 10 you played with no one? I think all of us has/had a least 1 friend in our life time. Friends is like a Color Cube Puzzle you have to match the colors up, some prefer to make a pattern, or do their own thing others prefer to match them up, how do you prefer you Color Cub Puzzle to be complete? Then use that as a starting point in BUILDING friendships that LAST as friends are not really forever, but in general people have about 5 (and thats a high number) friends who stick together for a long time.

"My marriage was a joke"
No, it was an eye opener:) You were treated like sh*** but hey half the men/women in the world are treated like that. Women unfortunately get the worst of it. So have a heart, more women are treated like sh*** than men in a marriage. So it just means you are that closer to finding someone who won't treat you like that.

"I had a son who my mom and another lady raised cuz I wasnt good enough"
Hell man, my mom told me in my days "no women would want me" my sister told me "you will amount to nothing", and the outcome I stuck to my values, beliefs, and people don't see as any of the above, in fact the opposite and no I ain't that great looking according to our lovely media or society just because of me. What people say, and do that concerns us. Does not make us that UNTIL we choose to lay down and accept it. That is your son, and you should fight for him no matter what or who gets in your way but they again comes to what you believe WITHIN. PS: I get alone very well with my mom and sister no grudges or going back to the past, its what I choose.

"I am 43 years old, ugly fat"
Age no one can stop. Fat, well now their is something we can change. Lets be honest, if you feel that you want to lose the weight then you need to know that its going to take blood sweat and tears to lose it and don't be a fool who thinks that it will happen in a month, because it will not, more like a few months but it all depends on HOW much you put IN that determines HOW much gets OUT:) plus you will start to feel so so so much better inside, emotionally.

"I have no purpose in life"
Their is no purpose in life! Ask someone who comes from a wealthy background, poor background, and one who grew up as an orphan what their purpose in life would be. 9 out of 10 it would lie along the lines of something similar to their background, but what do you think the orphan would say and the poor one? Makes you wonder or does it. Purpose is like a company's mission statement very deary and mundane would you not say. Change the word purpose to LIFE, then it sounds like "I have no life in life" Now answer this, what is life in life? That is a question that only each and ever individual irrespective of background would have to answer according to what life means to them, and that is what determine our choices, and where we will be tomorrow.

"I tried going back to college but failed at that"
Why did you back? Answer that. You only failed because you stopped trying. Think about it, if you never stopped then you never failed but because you did thus you failed. In a nutshell, again it comes to choices but what motivates us to keep trying are the reason why we are doing it.

"Was in a car wreck and I am in pain all the time"
This can be solved by a doctor. Its like tooth ache, when it pains we see a dentist and they do their thing and the pain is gone, but if we take a pain killer it goes away temporarily but will come back, then eventually the tooth decays away. Pain happens for a reason, its our body saying Hey You! something is not right, please go check it out as I am unable to fix it myself. So, I sincerely hope you able to have it checked out and that it is nothing serious.

"I have no meaning to live anymore"
Okay this one should be at the end it more like a closing but because you choose not to put it at the end and it would be a inner choice, hints to me that you actually want to live, in fact you want to live your life and not the next persons or how society wants you to live it. So, give me 5 you on the path of great change.

"I am to stupid to kill myself I have tried and even failed at that"
In your one of your previous statements you said "I am fat" well if you are doing nothing about it then you are busy killing yourself. So you not stupid at all and if you have done nothing about your fat, then you have not failed at all. Before you answer this, think about it carefully, killing yourself is a sin, one that damns your soul. Now, if you think killing yourself will make your life better then you a fool. A fool to think that by not trusting in a higher being (I believe in God) than you, you are actually saying that you are better than the higher being who has more knowledge in power than any of us. That is what suicide actually represents that are better than something more greater than us and what reward lies for those who think or make their choices that leads to that.

I had many many friends but as life moved on so have they, some just broke away, and I am glad for that because I can see their true persona now. Something that does not compliment me. Life has never been easy, nor sweet but I never stopped believing that I could change it. Finding Mrs right is still a mission and one that I am up for because I will never stop believing no matter what wrongs have been done to me in the past, and no matter what happens.

A loser is not one who rights down their reasons why they are loser, they are one who have seen their destiny and now have the power to achieve it by change certain things through what they have experienced. Most people have not experienced this. I hope you see the positiveness in your post, the hope and the future of it. When the world lets you down, don't frown be glad for your heart lies closer to God.
Answered Feb 01, 2011
Holy crap... That was so beautiful I laughed, I nearly cried... It's so amazing to see spiritual people like me in websites where you rarely see that... I love this post it's amazing.
awsome just awsome
"GOD" is a hippocrite... To create ones in HIS image, yet to saddle them with ignorance, and not making them equals, make him a hippocrite.

Why is it that when some psycho mows down a bunch of people at a movie theater, the "Devil" is in him, but when 30 people die in a tornado, "the Lord works in mysterious ways"?

Simple answer: There is no Heaven, and no Hell (granted, if there WAS a Hell, THIS would be it), there is no GOD, and no SATAN.
To loserinstl: God didn't "create people to be ignorant" like you said. People choose to be that way. You can't blame anything bad that happens on God.
rockstargirl: If you can't blame anything bad that happens on God...you can't also credit anything good that happens to God.
I would like to thank all that posted here. I am not even the fat guy - just a dude with a gun. Maybe I will put it away. Thank you.
Answered Apr 09, 2011
First, the fact that you reached out here shows you are not a loser. The fact that others have responded to share with you, shows you are not a loser. Secondly, where else can you reach out and start participating in your community. Maybe a hobby group where you can learn a new skill or volunteer at the SPCA. What do you feel passionate about and find a way to express that. There will be a place for it.
By beginning to step out into your life and seeing what is truly available for you, you will start to have more pleasurable experiences and make some wonderful connections. Pick an area you are interested in and find out what your community offers. You will begin to feel differently and more whole.
Keep on asking questions and connecting with people like here too. We are all social beings and need each other to grow. You can also search for ways to help with your physical pain as well. Physical therapy, Bowen therapy, cranial sacral or meditation can all help you with that.
Lastly, you are unique in this world and we need you to create your song. We all make up a cosmic symphony and you are an instrument that plays special music all of its own. We are not complete without your sound.
Answered Sep 16, 2010
couldnt agree more
When you reach the point of wanting to die, you aren't looking for well-wishes and reasons to NOT off yourself. You're looking for that one person out there who actually UNDERSTANDS you. This person WANTS to die, so the one thing he/she is looking for is someone to tell them that its okay, and that the world will go on without them.
Ask_Sean Says, First of all your not a loser, you should be out going to the bar or karokes (if thats your thing) and try and fit in. I know what you mean when nobody likes you around and dont intaract with you cause I had that in 1st Year now im one of the coolest (not THE coolest) What I did was stay strong and ask your family then they may help you.

Start by looking after your apprence and then flirt around with the girls (meh thats what I did (it works)) If that doesnt work then try and make friends like by being funny, smart and cool.

Just relax and things should start to look up I promise things will get better :D

(but what do I know im only 13, 14 this year and im in 3rd Year) Sssh dont tell I like this site :DD (big smile <)
Answered Sep 17, 2010
hi :

you said you are a loser because u cant do certain things that you are expected by the society to do.That doesnt make u a loser.

Do one thing run away ............
go to some place where people dont know who you are.then find a calm place like some mountain or forest .try to go there every day.Then u will see nature interact with u .that will make u feel better.and will give u a different view point.Try it out I tried and won....
Answered Jan 26, 2011
If you want somthing you need to go and get it, you can't give up you need to keep trying, if one thing dosen't work you need to try somthing difereant! (read the whole thing it's the most insperational thing i've ever read in my life)

I’m going to tell you a little story.

It’s about a man who wanted to know the secret of success, and decided to find out from a Guru.

Now this was a wise, old sage who knew every secret of Life. He lived in splendid isolation on a mountain-top. Our hero set out on his difficult journey to meet this wise man.

He was determined to reach the top, and so he got over many obstacles on his way. Fighting through thick forests, scaling huge boulders, escaping from wild beasts, at last he clambered to the peak and lay on the ground, gasping for breath.

A few minutes later, he sat up… and beheld the Guru seated in deep meditation.

Silently, he waited. Almost an hour later, the Guru opened his eyes and glanced at the man. He raised an inquiring eyebrow.

The man stammered, “Oh wise and all-knowing seer, I come to you in search of the secret of success.”

The Guru didn’t reply. He simply stood up and started walking down the hill.

The man followed. He found it difficult to keep pace with the old man, who seemed to skip from one rock to the other like a mountain-goat. They walked steadily for another hour, and he wondered if they were going back to the foothills.

Suddenly, they came upon a clearing. In the middle was a clear lake. The waters were still, glinting softly in the rays of a setting sun.

The Guru walked up to the edge of the lake and beckoned the man closer. With a gesture, he asked him to kneel down.

Unquestioningly, the man did as the Guru ordered.

Suddenly, he felt himself seized by a strong hand at the back of his neck. His head was forced down under the water, and held there firmly.

“This is some kind of test,” said the man to himself, as he sat still.

A minute passed, and he was growing breathless. The grip on his neck hadn’t weakened. Another minute crawled by, and now he was getting anxious. His heart beat heavily in his chest, his throat tightened, and his lungs screamed for air.

He struggled to arise, and the old man’s grip became even stronger, pressed him further down into the water.

Now, the man was in a panic. He thrashed around wildly, trying with all his energy to loosen the vise around his neck. Precious seconds passed, and he felt his strength slowly ebbing away.

He thought he was going to die!

Just as he was about to give up hope, rueing his folly in ever coming here, the hand on his collar let go.

Violently leaping onto the shore, the man drew in his breath in heaving gasps. Delicious oxygen flooded his lungs. His vision grew clearer, the hammering in his throat slowed down, his hands stopped trembling.

And he felt a deep anger welling up from within himself.

Standing up, he faced the Guru and screamed: “Are you CRAZY? You could have killed me!”

The Guru simply stared at him for a long moment.

Then he spoke for the first time.

“You wanted to know the secret of success. Here it is. Do you remember, just a few minutes ago, how badly you wanted to take that next breath of air? When you want success that badly, you will have it. That’s the secret of success
Answered Oct 24, 2012
Feel your heartbeat. Felt it? Then listen to it. You are here for a reason. You may be a loser to others, but your family and friends, you are one of the most precious things in the universe. Don't hate yourself. You are worth millions to those who love and care about you.
Answered Jan 18, 2013
I would like to say if anybody that may know me!!! I Don't Care What You Think!!!!!!

YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!!!!! I would say you sound pathetic,but I can't because a year or so, I felt the same way. Thought I would never amount to anything. So I figure I didn't need to be alive anymore. My own sister also tells me that I will never in my life will amount to nothing, but I learned that you have to not take those things that people say to heart because they want to see you miserable, so they can have a laugh. As for your age it doesn't matter how old you are. Everybody goes through some rough times. Hey look at me I'm 22. You can never fail at going back to college that is a good thing some people aren't even trying to do something positive with their life at your age. My mother always says to never give up and you will truly succeed. People talks about me constantly, even my own family as I said before, but do you think I let that bother me. No, maybe a year ago it would, but not anymore.
Answered May 07, 2013
Just Relax.. Ok?

Now ..your problem is that you seem to be concerned only about yourself. Just try living for others.. and don't expect any good from anyone...

Your attitude should be "the more you hate me, the more I love you."

Dont ever give up.. Life has something good in store for everyone.
Answered Jun 09, 2010
That is a horrible philosophy; "the more you hate me, the more I love you." That is nothing more than a masochistic idea. Why should you attempt to love others that hate you in return? This is a recipe for disaster. You should try to surround yourself with people who are your true friends. If you have none available then you need to try to enjoy the company of yourself. Being a good person, in many cases, may leave you with nearly no friends. This is no reason to be unhappy. Most people in this world are selfish self centered assholes and if you get along with most of them then you probably are one too.
Seriously?! Go outside and practice falling down! I've tried the "live for everyone else" bullshit. Karma doesn't exist. That's why when you live that way, you go from being miserable to being BROKE and even MORE miserable.
dont attempt suicide, think of the good things and please dont think of ending your life , if you feel beautiful you are beautiful, try and reinvent yourself, try and get acheive your dream, get a job, then think about love, try to get painkillers,and get toghether with family, do what you want to do!
Answered Jun 09, 2010
I agree - don't commit suicide. Even though you feel like you are worthless, your suicide will cause much more pain to others than any pain you are feeling yourself. Suicide is the most selfish solution your problem that you could ever use. You think you're a loser now? If you take your own life, you join the list of selfish people who've left everyone else behind to suffer.
adsfkjl May 15, 2012
Hey man,i'm 14 years old and my life's really messed up, but I guess its not too bad too, i'm a kind of a nerd but I do have some friends though, anyways, if u're lookin for a friend, plz do send me a friend request, the name is Drona Negi of facebook.
Answered Jun 17, 2010
As crazy as it sounds, we don't get our beliefs about ourselves because of what happens to us, rather it's the reverse: What happens to you depends on what you believe about your self. A person who believes he/she is smart will study and think and become smart. A person who believes they can't, will not try so their belief that they can't do it becomes true. The only difference between a winner and a loser is what you believe about yourself.

I'd memorize this and say it every day:

If you think you're beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win but believe you can't,
It's almosy for certain, you won't.

Life's races are never ever won
By the stronger or faster man
Sooner or later, the one who wins
Is the one who BELIEVES he can

Answered Jun 17, 2010
Rob, This is a charming poem. Unfortunately is is not entirely true. If a man who has no legs believes he can win a race, no matter how much he believes it, it will never happen. What this man needs to do is find the one thing that he excels at and place all his energy behind that thing. I this man spend all his energy trying to reinforce the delusion that he is something that he can never be, he will end up a broken man. While he must indeed have the confidence in the man he truly is, he must also accept the man he truly is.
The beginning of this poem is very good though and I could not agree more.
2012 Olympics. A man got second place with two prosthetic limbs.
Everyone is good at something you just have to find it out :)
Answered Jun 18, 2010
Hi Lauren Morley. I felt the same way. I was in an accident after dating an abuser and I feel the whole world is an abusive place sometimes especially after you see someone wierd after it happens. Then two of my good friends died right after and now I'm starting to ask all these questionls. Why does alchohol affect people in a bad way? I liked it when I was drinking. But I never did anything. Why is the same people walking around in a weird way still to even though I don't?
Answered Jun 19, 2010
you might benefit from this short article I happened to read the other day. it talks about the beliefs and seems to be a nice concept.

Answered Jul 18, 2010
Edited Jul 18, 2010
get your son back if they wont call the police take it to court his your son you are the one who should desind witch path to go tho not your mum not anyone else u are the only one dont give up you got a reson to live we all do hold in the good things come to them who waits dont give up
Answered Oct 14, 2010
plus id love to be your friend send me a friend reqest on facebook im laini hansson
babe04 Oct 31, 2010
DUDE!! don't commit suicide!! plz don't if you do, I may not know you but I would probably cry ='( trust me, everyone that is born into this world has a purpose in life so don't give up!! =) try thinking positive, look I know its hard but... mm how do I put this... lets say ur stuck in a tunnel right now, at this point ur probably at the darkest point inside the tunnel, but if you think positive and keep on going, you'll be out of that tunnel in no time =) ok? life is difficult but if you give up now, you'll never be able to be happy.... everyone has felt or is feeling the same way you are, they may not say so but trust me everyone has, you're not alone =) SO DON'T DIEE!!! =(
Answered Nov 01, 2010
Edited Nov 02, 2010
plus i'll be ur frend =)
...If everybody in this world had a purpose, then there's millions of children who will be born in third-world countries today who's point is to starve to death, die of disease, and survive maybe a few years of this hell, just to die in misery?
My humble advice would be to accept yourself for precisely who and what you are, and be content with what you have all the while trying to better yourself when you can. Don't be to hard on yourself if you fail. We only get one life so don't waste it trying to be what you are not, or cannot be.
Answered Dec 29, 2010
Some people aren't as liucky as you. Some people go through their whole lives without purpose. Its an extremely lonely existence. Trust me, I know.
I'm going to start by saying...


Who wants to be like that? Trying to be unhappier than anybody else, then taking the easy way out and blaming your unhappiness for all your problems. All you can do is brag about how much more unlucky you are than everybody else. And even when you're not, you're the kind of person who'll make sure that you are. Nobody likes to hear the truth about themselves. Does it hurt your feeling that much, telling you that lots of people are just like you? I wasn't wrong. It's tough for everybody. There's nothing special about you. But you don't get it, that's what makes you such a meanie.

Your marriage went down the drain because most marriages do, there is nothing special about your marriage going down the tubes, join the masses of unhappy people that might as well have just stood on their balcony and tossed away half their savings. The fact that you have a kid that your mother and someone else raise is very lucky and so are you, because a lot of kids get messed up out there being stuck with a bad parent. So instead of feelings sorry for yourself you should say thank you mother for allowing me to wallow in my self pity. you should take the opportunity she has given you and even if it is watching paint dry all day long you should do whatever you want to do. Don't have enough money? Tough most of us don't, be creative, don't be lazy. Enlightenment will never come to those who do not wake when it is time.

It really pisses me off when I hear people complain like this. Talking about killing themselves. I know it sounds like nonsense to you but your life is precious, to me it is, there are so many amazing people I know that have died. I for one have lost two children and am unable to have any more. And you know what? I would much rather have them alive than you any day,I'd much rather have them alive than just about anybody I know, even my own family. But that is not how life is, it's UNFAIR. But to hear you, taking the gift of life that you have been given that I would give anything to have for those people that meant everything to me, it disgusts me. Did all that suffering make you a better person? Does all your patience make you feel better about yourself? Me, when it comes to suffering, I'd rather put it behind me.

When things really get that bad, people do what ever they can to escape it. If it's not bad enough to do that, you weren't suffering enough to want to run away. I don't know how to describe it, but you know that feeling when you want to die, and you know that fighting on won't do any good? Talk is easy. Whatever you suffered wasn't bad enough to try to escape from or die trying. Nobody's gonna feel sorry for people who drown themselves in their own misfortunes. After all, living your own life is a full-time job. If you had someone sidling up to you all the time and wanting you to feel all sorry for them, you'd get sick of them. Don't you think?

Honestly,in my opinion, It's asking an awful lot, expecting other people to like you when you don't even like yourself. Isn't it a pain always having to be such a stick-in-the-mud like that? It looks like you ended up hating yourself too. Sure must suck being you... But the problem is, you can never run away from yourself.
Answered Jan 05, 2011
Now listen to this person because this is someone who have experience a lot but the difference is what she choose. It's like been given a choice between two boxes and we don't know what is inside. Life is similar to that, the difference is that from our experience we can make better choices, and sometimes hey we need to learn from new ones. Great comment.
You say you'd rather put bad things behind you EAK, yet your hostility towards the person who posted their query is unacceptable. Compassion and understanding are more important than embittered rantings and bullying such as you have shown here. Please, refrain from placing your aggressive comments here. They don't help, "tough love" & the like is actually ignorance, fear, abandonment & abuse.
GrowUp Feb 06, 2012
...Spoken like a person who hasn't a clue what pain is.
Sounds like ur kids are the ones that lucked out. They won't have to go through the shit of break ups and job losses. If I understand you correctly, if someone hasn't killed themselves , their suffering wasn't that bad? How do you know that what this poster has gone through isn't all that bad? I'm sure he/she hasn't listed all the shit that has been put up with during a whole lifetime. By the way, I try to especially like people who hate themselves. It's hard to like yourself when everybody else tells you that you are shit.
people are incositant shallow jerks. Hate them.
Answered Jan 31, 2011
Human beings, in general, are evil creatures. Virtually everything a person does is done for personal gain only. People will lie, cheat, steal, injure, and kill just to get a little bit ahead of the next guy. The Bible tells us to love eachother as brothers... Ever hear the story of Cain and Able? If everyone actually decended from Adam and Eve, every bad thing ever done, between humans, is either incest (a mortal sin), bearing false witness (a mortal sin), or murder of one's brother. Go thump your hippocrite-book somewhere else.
Jesus, nobody should kill themselves. There's enough death in the world. Spend time with your son. Take him shopping, or something. Go on a diet. Take lots of rest and get over the crash slowly. Get a job, or if you already have one work your way up. I know what it's like to fail a lot, it's frustrating but you just have to pick yourself up and keep trying.
Answered Apr 12, 2011
God is an imaginary friend for adults...nothing more nothing less
cdncroc Jan 18, 2012
I've picked myself up only to fall even harder. I've done this for years and it's only getting worse. I'm 51 been married almost 30 yrs only to find that he's a cheater and lier. To tell you the truth I'm so physically and emotionally drained. I have a 22 daughter and a 14 year old son. Last year I went back to work after 13 years due to the fact that I was a stay at mom. Last week I lost my job because I got to the point that I just couldn't take it no more being stepped on. I've been a door mat for so long that now i'm all worn out. For me I feel like there is no more future and lets be real I'm 51 how much more life do I have? I'm DONE!
Answered Jul 22, 2011
I'm totally with you, Camille.
Camille, what happened to you since this comment 5 years ago?
"the glutton castaway, the drunkard in the desert, the lecher in prison, they are the happy ones. to hunger, thirst, lust everyday afresh, and everyday vain, after the old prog, the old booze, the old whores. Thats the nearest we'll ever get to the felicity..." -Samual Becket
Maybe your problem is expecting to be the person you were/are never meant to be. Try not living upto what is expected of you and start living the way you want to. hopefully, when get a full scope of the life you want (through living it), you will learn what is most important to you and gradually, {do not rush yourself} gradually, the person you want to be will start showing himself...

hope you are alive to read this. or better still, I hope you'v had a change of perspective by the time your post and realise how hard on yourself you were :)
Answered Apr 13, 2012
what the hells is that people ...i had the perfect life and perfect job(military for me it was afghanistan everything ) I lost my job and everything ,my wife and after done 30 days in jail cause lost a bolt on someone and what in the bottom you can only go up!!! I start from nothing and now I own an entire land ,im an farmer what I have wanted all my life and I got a little girl a month a go and im married so when you think is finish is not and in jail I cut my hand to finish everything and that doesnt help me ... get strong because life isnt easy and every time your down think about there that,there is no limit in life only the limit you put to yourself ... peace everyone
Answered May 16, 2012
Can I just say to all the comments about a man with no legs not being able to win a race. U have a very good point. A man with no legs should never attempt to win a race because he does not have legs. Rather he should stop dwelling on things he can't control. He will never have legs, boo hoo. Rather than killing ur self because u have no legs and can't win a race u should quit racing all together. Find something u can excel at, and be the best u can be at that. We all have something we are not a loser at. Stop dwelling on the things u can't win at and find and cherish the things u can win at. Then be the best at that u possibly can be.
Answered Jun 26, 2012
14 Reasons I've EARNED the RIGHT to end it:

1. Physical deformities due to underage, drug-addicted, pregnant mother. (Constant pain since birth)
2. Abusive Mother
3. Father dies of cancer 2 days after my 16th Birthday
4. First love, H.S. sweetheart, dies of Lymphoma, 3 weeks before the wedding.
5. 3 years of constant drinking leads to pregnancy of total bitch.
6. Made mistake of "doing the right thing" and marries the bitch.
7. Second kid born one month before bitch files for divorce. (she "forgot" her pill)
8. Miss kids growing up (bitch gets full custody AFTER cussing out judge in court... Gets house AND car I bought before we ever met)
9. Drinks heavily through 1.4 year-long divorce. (Costs over $40k, gains 85 lbs, kidney stones, and a bleeding ulcer)
10. Meets decent woman, moves 200 miles from kids.
11. Bitch moves (without notification, violating state law, but court refuses to hear case) a further 100 miles away. (Kids now live six hours away)
12. Gets married a second time, buys another house, has another kid.
13. Loses job... 9 Layoffs in three years... In danger of losing house/car/wife/child.
14. Lower back pain (spinal deformity from birth) stressed due to weight gain (haven't been able to lose it), now at point where doctors want to install back brace and implant an electronic device to manage pain. (Cost is over $120k, and have no more insurance...) I'm a truck driver, so back-surgery means an end to my career, at only 30 years old...

Now, why am I still dealing with this bullshit?
Answered Aug 01, 2012
it's like ur me! why don't you check out this video. go to youtube.com and search for success how bad do you want it- changed my life.
Answered Aug 17, 2012
I'm finding it hard to breath now days. I know your pain all too well loserinstl..I think..scratch that. I know I'm a born loser. My mother left me alone in the rain on a doorstep, at night before I could walk. You may think I faired better by not being raised by her. 11 foster homes later, after rape and molestation that lasted well over six years...switching school after school..the beatings..real beatings. Thats just a small part of it. My mom died when I turned 15 from alcohol and who knows what. I did manage to get so called adopted by my cousin at 13, but the torture of being teased and shunned by my whole family was heartbreaking. I am the blacksheep. Anyway, that was just my childhood. Then the bomb dropped on me after I turned 19. I left home for my highschool "sweetheart"..WTF. Hell began and never relented. I had vowed to never raise my kids without being married..that I would raise them whatever it takes. I know how it feels to be trapped in your own personal hell. That's putting it litely. After he had beaten me silly,raped, dislocated bones, broke my fingers..finally after moving out...he still stalked, threatened me. Long story short I left the state. I asked his family to take temporary custody while I tried to heal. This MF and his family blackballed me after he filled divorce after nine years. After having documented proof of this long term abuse....I lost my only reason to live..I have never been in any trouble, never hurt my kids...I'm so lost....I haven't seen them in over seven years. My baby girl turned 16 on Sept.11th. Ok, fast forward to my present relationship...oh, who am I kidding..my life sucks. Gave my car away to boyfriend of nine years cause he is the only source of income for the last two years. No job, no money, no kids, no real relationship difference...even though I've been with him almost 10 years. He doesn't beat me, but If you love bootcamp he's your man. Always yelling, loud, obnoxious. Everyone loves him though. I'm trying to be happy and content..Sorry no one tuely loves from the heart anymore. My girlfriend once asked me why won't I just leave...I love hard, harder than most people. My kind doesn't fit in well with mainstream society so...here goes nothing. For all those who did touch my heart with sweet empathy for others like myself..thanks.
Answered Sep 30, 2012
Oh don't do that. You don't want to die, come on. I know things seem hard right now but if you keep your head up and keep trucking on with an open mind and an open heart, you will see that life may not be as bad as it seems. People usually end up in stumps like this because they put themselves there. I don't know you and I'm not saying this is the case but for most people, if they think themselves to be a certain way, then they will act accordingly because they don't see themselves being anything more than that and in turn, they do indeed become that which they have so ingrained in their minds that they are. You think yourself to be a loser and because of this, you have no confidence or no drive to go on so you simply don't. The human brain is a very powerful organ; we are a powerful species. Remember the quote from Spider-man, "with great power comes great responsibility."? Well this applies to humans. As our minds are capable of feeling pleasure, happiness, enlightenment, exuberance, they are also equally susceptible to anger, sadness, loneliness, depression and hopelessness. And the truth of the matter is, these types of emotions are inevitable. Everybody has felt every single one of these at one point in their lives and people feel like this everyday. You cannot let these emotions take hold of you because they will drain you of your spirit and will to go on. Instead, take any little moment, be it for a few seconds, that you have felt happiness, joy or the least bit of content and hold on to that as hard as you can. You cannot tell me you have no happy moments in your life whatsoever and you're just a constant, hopeless quarry of misery 24/7. There must be some things that bring you joy and whatever they may be, try hard to keep those things around and hold on to them until you can find some permanent relief to your miserable life. I have been in your shoes. I know how you feel. It's terrible and it's soul-draining. It feels like you're a tiny, meaningless bug in a world full of prosperous-seeming giants and you wish with all your heart that you could be anybody but who you are. Every time something bad happens in your presence you hang your head in shame because you automatically presume it was because of you. Well, I don't know about you but I know I did for sure. At my previous job, whenever something went wrong in the store, my heart would automatically start racing and I'd bite my lip, readying myself for lengthy confrontation from my manager about it and most of the time, it wasn't even my fault. I was so self-conscious and my self-esteem was so low that I linked any misfortune that occurred to me because I just felt like I was a magnet for nothing but chaos and bad energy. And I guess I was. You see, I had it so ingrained in my mind that I would bring nothing but misery and misfortune to those around me and because that was how I thought, I acted based on it. I lived everyday for about four years believing that I was nothing but scum and worthless and believe me, I thought about dying so many times. I was never brave enough to do it, however because I never really wanted to die. As miserable as I was, there was a tiny bit of me that wanted to prove to myself and my family that I could push out of the psychological hellhole I was putting myself through, that I was strong and not a complete useless nothing like I believed for so long that I was. Really, the only devil I was enduring throughout the entirety of this segment of my life was my own mentality and thinking. The same goes for you, poster (I will not refer to you as the name you assigned yourself). No, you are not feeling this way because you've had a divorce, or because you didn't raise your son or didn't do as well in college as you'd liked to. You are feeling this way because YOU are choosing to feel this way. Bad things WILL happen, poster and everybody DOES fail, some of us many times in our lives but it is from our ability to overcome these struggles and setbacks and be able to stand up and move on that defines us as people. You have to stand up, face the fire and be ready to kick life back in the butt because it will not get easier, I can tell you that. If you don't think you can do it, remember this: you are a human being, just like everybody else. Everybody else screws up, just like you and I would most certainly rather try and fail than not try at all so at least you know you cared enough to do that. There is nothing wrong with failure, my friend, nothing at all. It just means that you have to keep trying and trying until you succeed. You can't fail forever. Failure is not a weakness; not trying at all, however, is.

Note: to EAK, it really bothers me when people try to pass off the old "well there are people going through worse than you so quit crying" card as advise because one, it will do absolutely nothing to make the poster feel better and two, you cannot compare two people and their problems because we are our own people. We have our own minds and we all react to situations differently. What is extremely painful for one person may not be as much for another. The loss of your children was very unfortunate, Eak and I send you my condolences but it is not your right to use this event to put a label on what suffering is or isn't. You have obviously not had any problems with self-esteem or depression because I'm telling you know, it feels like your soul dies all over again everyday and it hurts, it really does. So please, do not use sad occurrences like the one you described to post ignorant comments because it is vastly different from what the poster has described. Thank you.

Poster, I have much more to tell you but this is getting quite long and it's well past my bedtime. I'm terribly sorry you feel this way but remember, you are hardly alone. If you need some more advise or just somebody to vent to or talk with please don't hesitate to email me at [email protected]
Please do not be so hard on yourself, op, you are trying so hard to live up the ideal image of the perfect individual that society has painted and is expecting of everyone. You deserve as much happiness and love as anybody else and don't you ever forget that.
Love, Janice
Answered Nov 08, 2012
Edited Nov 08, 2012
Bro, I'm a Dominican, 29 years old, and someone you see on the street n probably look at with disgrace b/c of the ego problem we face veryday. But when we alone, and feelin pain, everything goes away. The skin color. The race. The background. And we feel what the blue and red blood at our soul suffers from. We drop all boundaries. I wanna really, truly tell you to find a way to find happiness. Its a hard ass life. You ever notice the skinny blonde sexy woman out there getting plastic surgery b/c her nose too big? And then the fat woman sayin "Dam, why she out there hatin life, she look so beautiful and wanna mess with her nose, and I'm all fat". That's the nature of this f-ed up flesh. Bro, find a way. As much as I feel you, as much as others might feel you, or others hate on you, the reality is, that only you can change your life and that nobody else will care. Its hard to believe in shit we can't see. So I wont go down that path. But ima tell you, find a way to make it. When y9ou find a way to love you, you will find a way for everyone else to too. It's hard, I can't give you the answers. Noone on this website will. W need the attention, we need to know that others know we are hurting and going through hell. But please, find a way to find you. I love you bro. I love you b/c you bleed the same sh**t I bleed, I love you because I know what you feelin. I love you because I know you are alone, and the worst, ugliest person on the earth. I love you because I was in your place. Then I went to prison, for 5 years. It changed my life, and made me a stronger person, and let me really understand what it is that we forget these days. I love you man, I hope you really find someone to help you through this world. I love you bro,
Answered Dec 23, 2012

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