Oni_Kami, I think you you were very thorough, causing her to examine herself. You helped her to empathize even when doing so. Yes, shame on her. Like you said there is no excuse Whatever the situation. Though I've never cheated, or have any tolerance for it, I do not think I should assume what her outcome should be. I wont try to compare faults or measure 'em, but I'm not one to say to each their own,either. However, God Himself gave us choices.This choice she made was a BAD one.She better KNOW that. She should pray for forgiveness. I hope SHE can forgive HERself. Don't go do something stupider.Hey Shorty, the focus should be what damage you've caused to your husband. How is it being dealt with in front of your child? You can't move forward if you relive your past over and over. LEARN from it. You can't move forward if you LIVE in a lie. Be honest. You may lose him.VERY likely. Don't live in that fear of telling him. Just take what you've got coming to you. You were unfaithful!. If you EVER loved him, you need to let Him make the decision of how He feels about disloyalty and you gotta bite the bullet. All you can do is live in the present. You're a Mama. Set a good example. With everything. Do the right thing. Then Handle your faults properly. Be humble. Change. Make and teach apologies. Forgive yourself. Some people make it difficult to be sorry to. If he ever hurt you that's a different issue. NOT an EXCUSE TO CHEAT!. Have more respect for yourself!! RESPECT the man YOU chose to love! I can see why Oni_Kami was so angry about the question you asked.What you did was REALLY wrong and the dilemma you've caused is not yours alone! He was wronged. He's going to feel hurt. Often times, hurt people, HURT PEOPLE. Were you hurt? And two wrong never = a right. It effects all that care for you. You're child is needing role models and might possibly one day be a wife and possibly a Mommy. The option mentioned of prearranged decisions to involve others romantically in your marriage is, in my opinion, (correction), in GOD'S opinion, is definitely NOT okay. Man might have the opportunity to be the head of the household, but marriage is not a man made thing. It's a God made thing who, by the way, created man, in order to glorify Him (God). Anything outside of that is evil and is just one of the many ways the devil deceives the world. Hope this is helpful.-*Stardust