How to tell my mother she can't tell me what to do?

i am 39. the oldest of three.. my mother was 16 when she had me.... she was very hard on me compared to my siblings....she has always tryed to control me and has always miss read everything. i have been on my own since 18 and have never asked for help from her.... i have a family now and she trys to control it.... anytime i confront her about something she gets mad and hangs up...... she wants my 8 yr old and 6 yr old to spend the night and they don't want to.... i told her this and she said i need to make them and stop letting them run all over me........i am so ready to right her off my list. what to do? O YEA I HAVE NEVER MADE MY GIRLS DO ANYTHING THEY DIDNT WANT TO....UNLESS IT IS SOMETHING FOR SCHOOL THAT THEY HAVE TO.... PLEASE UNDERSTAND MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neither you nor her have any right to force them to stay over at her place. I don't care how young your kids are.

i feel bad but my moms the same way im 18 and my mom wants me to stay with her One day i finally just said you know what mom im sick of you telling me what to do im not little but then she started crying and i said i know its hard for you but i will always be around and so will my (kids in your position) but its time we do stuff on my own i can grow up and take care of my self i will still stop over once a week.

And what about your other brothers and sisters??

Just talk with her but don't break her heart.Mom's are very sensitive and they'll very hurt when they childrens mean to them.Talk wit her.Thats all that you can do.
xoxo
Selena Gomez

Do not make them stay when they get older they may want to stay.Don't write her off after all she will be the only Mother you will have and you will not have her always. Maybe if she would try doing something one on one with each of them. Maybe take to a movie or bake cookies to start with just to stay an hour or two to start with. Your mom is not quit my age but remember she still loves you all.Some children just does not want to stay away from home.I have been blessed with 18 grandchildren and all have stayed or even lived with me most are all grown now with families of their own. i now have 3 that are 11,
9 and 4.The 4year old cries at times when he has to go home.The other two use to stay with me alot but now they tell me Grandma I want to spend the night with you Friday and when Friday gets here they will change it to Saturday and most of the time that friday and Saturday will be not tonight but next week and at first it was disappointing but come to terms they just want to be at home doing their own fun things.

Let your Mom tell you what to do and then do whatever you want to do. My grandchildren don't like to spend the night at my house either. We do other things that they like to do.

well if you older yhea you can say that but if you were younger don't you ever say that trust me i'm 16 and i tried to tell my mom that i got slap in the next year so don't ever say that trust me!