Now in my twenties, I have come to realize my dad is a difficult person. He blames my mother or everyone else for every single thing that goes wrong in his life. For instance, he would blame my mother or us his children if he trips and fall on his own. Because I'm the most independent and outspoken of all my siblings and I dare to be and do things differently than he'd like, he belittles the profession I am preparing to get into (acupuncture and pain management) by calling it voodoo and all sorts of things. He is lazy and has quit every job he has ever had just so he can do whatever he pleases which doesn't even begin to pay bills at home but yet he expects a roof over his head, food on his plate, and clothes on his back, and he demands these by manipulating or guilt tripping us. When he does have money, he drinks and smokes it. For as long as I have remembered, my mother has always carried all the burden of our family and yet he blames her for everything he could still do himself. When I was away at college for undergrad, I used to feel so guilty to a point where I was diagnosed with depression because I was constantly worried about my family members. All of that lead me to not being able to graduate on time because I just wanted to be home and fix my family when I told my dad that, he completely ignored me and accused me of partying and socializing too much and that's why I couldn't graduate on time. Being home to help fix my family turned out to be a complete waste of my time (1.5years) because I have never been so frustrated because they all know my dad has many problems but no one is willing to tell it to him and when I do, I'm seen as disrespectful. Now I've just grown numb to the whole idea and just want to be far away from all the emotional draw backs. I'm about to leave for grad school in a different state and for the first time, I do not care if they trip and fall. I have seen that devoting my time and energy to them only enables them especially my father to be more dependent and demanding of me. For instance, I am the only driver in my family and he just thinks I'm his chauffeur regardless of what I have going on with work, school, or just my life and doesn't care whether my car needs gas, oil change or any major work, he contributes nothing to anyone. He only cares about himself, I mean, the guy won't even have a conversation with you if it doesn't revolve around him and favorably so and he would much rather talk about nonsense than sincerely listen to anyone especially when it has to deal directly with the other person's life. I am just over it.