How do you deal with a difficult father?

I dont know how much more I can take of this the emotional and verbal abuse. Its driving me crazyy. Hes separating me from everyone I love and turns everything around and throws it back in my face. I've never felt so bad about myself....Should I just cut him off completely?
lookatthestars3
Asked Jan 03, 2010
I am going through an extremely difficult time with my father. He is paying for an extravagant wedding in 26 days (new years eve) and is very manipulative, unpredictable, and verbally abusive. He has always been extremely difficult to deal with but I was able to feel better about our relationship, and myself, once I became independent of him. He blocked me from any financial involvement from the beginning of the process by saying, "don't worry! it will be a great night." however, now that the wedding is less than a month away, he's trying to blame me for bills being sky-high. He is the type of person to never admit any faults, he offers me the world but then holds it over my head, loves me one minute and calls me a spoiled brat the next. I'm going through so many emotions right now. I have had enough of the verbal and emotional abuse - I don't even want the wedding anymore! help!
At one point I cut my father off completely. It was the best decision of my life because he came crawling back nearly in tears a few months later and really changed his attitude, he's been a much much better person since.
Oni_Kami
Answered Jan 03, 2010
Pray about it and let God led the way.You have him now and think what will it be like if you cut him out of your life completely and something happens to him .There could be a medical problem with him that you may not be aware of.
ginnygin
Answered Jan 26, 2010
You didn't mention either one of your ages. If you are a teen just try your best to hang in there until you get a little older and hope things will get better It could be he was treate that way with his parent.
You are a human being and don't deserve to be treated that way. I have a feeling he will never change unless you do something like Oni did. You must save your self-esteem. And yourself. No abusive relationship is worthy of you.
eghall
Answered Jan 28, 2010
I have a father similar to that. He is in a stressful stage, but I still believe I dont deserve the emotional abuse. he always complains about my attitude n blames it on stubbornness without listening to my point of view ( im 13). Try for a while to talk to him only when necessary. You have to be DIPLOMATIC and respectful, but stay at a distance, and maybe he will realize how much it hurts you. if like my dad he makes jokes and starts being nice quickly, dont give in. really make him understand.
bornfree345
Answered Sep 13, 2010
Hi, my father is the same way. He would call my sister fat and if I do not live up to his perfect little girl image than it is my fault and I become a failure in his eyes. My parents have be divorce for 7 years and they can not talk to each other. I think if I had the power I would cut him out of my life. I think if you really think that would let go of stress you should do it. I wish I had the power myself to do the same. I think at the moment I am going through a tough time of handling this and it is emotionally straining.
bunny
Answered Oct 05, 2010
I am watching my wife of 5 years and my best friend of 10 years deal with the pain her from dad he is constanly on her about every little thing in the world.the main problem is he is gay but he is still in the closet and always has been I know that eats at him but its not my wifes fault she has been controlled mistreated she thinks its all her fault she has a low selfesteem she tries to fix everybodys faults don't let your fathers do to all of above what my wifes father did to the love of my life she is kind,gentle and most of all a goodhearted person like all of you get out seek help. live your lives with love,happiness and and a peice of mind its not worth being miserble and wondering what you have done wrong because you have'nt best of wishes and keep your heads up- Kelly
helper
Answered Feb 16, 2011
i have a different way to deal with my father . I didn't know him much as he doesnot chat with me the same he chat with my elder siblings when I was about 12 or 13 yrs. my siblings almost mke fun of me and he used to laugh at it. when I was 16 , I came to know that he doesnot like me because of my attitude and rude behaviour over my elder siblings ( as I m the youngest one). he used abusive language many a times then I started realising that I should not come in his way so that he should be comfortable with his family , relatives and many other people . he hated my interuption in his life so I ignored him a little bit but it dooesnot make me feel good ! I started chatting with him in decent manner but that is not at all working! Right now I m 22 still difficult to handle him ! Don't know what to do !!!!!!!!!!!
sahil_arora1988
Answered Apr 03, 2011
yeahh , you're old enough . cut him off . do what oni kami or something did . to me it seems like the right idea .
loveya Jul 12, 2011
15 years ago my Dad kicked me out with no money, I had just lost my Mom from cancer. All he wanted to do was enjoy his newly single life with my Mom's life insurance money all to himself. 15 years later, he's sorry & suddenly wants a family again. No matter how hard I try, the past still hurts me. You do what you need to do to be stress free, confront him then move on.
sugarbear
Answered Sep 01, 2012
Hi Bornfree, exactly the same in my case. Did yours begin like that since u were young? I noticed he changed even before my grandma got ill and he'd start damaging my fragile self esteem, opposed to the course I want to take etc. I HATE him! recently I had got to a numb stage.. but provoked again by clearing my stuff says his are more important. I see he has an OCD problem alw collecting junk not throwing anything away that are his. But counsellors don't want to take my case. :( they advise going with friends but I still come back to same problem! Help!
ilkar
Answered Dec 09, 2013
If your parents are divorced live with your mother.
Jazzi
Answered Dec 09, 2013

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