How do you deal with a difficult father?

I dont know how much more I can take of this the emotional and verbal abuse. Its driving me crazyy. Hes separating me from everyone I love and turns everything around and throws it back in my face. I've never felt so bad about myself....Should I just cut him off completely?
Asked Jan 03, 2010
I am going through an extremely difficult time with my father. He is paying for an extravagant wedding in 26 days (new years eve) and is very manipulative, unpredictable, and verbally abusive. He has always been extremely difficult to deal with but I was able to feel better about our relationship, and myself, once I became independent of him. He blocked me from any financial involvement from the beginning of the process by saying, "don't worry! it will be a great night." however, now that the wedding is less than a month away, he's trying to blame me for bills being sky-high. He is the type of person to never admit any faults, he offers me the world but then holds it over my head, loves me one minute and calls me a spoiled brat the next. I'm going through so many emotions right now. I have had enough of the verbal and emotional abuse - I don't even want the wedding anymore! help!

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At one point I cut my father off completely. It was the best decision of my life because he came crawling back nearly in tears a few months later and really changed his attitude, he's been a much much better person since.
Answered Jan 03, 2010
Pray about it and let God led the way.You have him now and think what will it be like if you cut him out of your life completely and something happens to him .There could be a medical problem with him that you may not be aware of.
Answered Jan 26, 2010
You didn't mention either one of your ages. If you are a teen just try your best to hang in there until you get a little older and hope things will get better It could be he was treate that way with his parent.
You are a human being and don't deserve to be treated that way. I have a feeling he will never change unless you do something like Oni did. You must save your self-esteem. And yourself. No abusive relationship is worthy of you.
Answered Jan 28, 2010
I have a father similar to that. He is in a stressful stage, but I still believe I dont deserve the emotional abuse. he always complains about my attitude n blames it on stubbornness without listening to my point of view ( im 13). Try for a while to talk to him only when necessary. You have to be DIPLOMATIC and respectful, but stay at a distance, and maybe he will realize how much it hurts you. if like my dad he makes jokes and starts being nice quickly, dont give in. really make him understand.
Answered Sep 13, 2010
Hi, my father is the same way. He would call my sister fat and if I do not live up to his perfect little girl image than it is my fault and I become a failure in his eyes. My parents have be divorce for 7 years and they can not talk to each other. I think if I had the power I would cut him out of my life. I think if you really think that would let go of stress you should do it. I wish I had the power myself to do the same. I think at the moment I am going through a tough time of handling this and it is emotionally straining.
Answered Oct 05, 2010
I am watching my wife of 5 years and my best friend of 10 years deal with the pain her from dad he is constanly on her about every little thing in the world.the main problem is he is gay but he is still in the closet and always has been I know that eats at him but its not my wifes fault she has been controlled mistreated she thinks its all her fault she has a low selfesteem she tries to fix everybodys faults don't let your fathers do to all of above what my wifes father did to the love of my life she is kind,gentle and most of all a goodhearted person like all of you get out seek help. live your lives with love,happiness and and a peice of mind its not worth being miserble and wondering what you have done wrong because you have'nt best of wishes and keep your heads up- Kelly
Answered Feb 16, 2011
i have a different way to deal with my father . I didn't know him much as he doesnot chat with me the same he chat with my elder siblings when I was about 12 or 13 yrs. my siblings almost mke fun of me and he used to laugh at it. when I was 16 , I came to know that he doesnot like me because of my attitude and rude behaviour over my elder siblings ( as I m the youngest one). he used abusive language many a times then I started realising that I should not come in his way so that he should be comfortable with his family , relatives and many other people . he hated my interuption in his life so I ignored him a little bit but it dooesnot make me feel good ! I started chatting with him in decent manner but that is not at all working! Right now I m 22 still difficult to handle him ! Don't know what to do !!!!!!!!!!!
Answered Apr 03, 2011
yeahh , you're old enough . cut him off . do what oni kami or something did . to me it seems like the right idea .
loveya Jul 12, 2011
15 years ago my Dad kicked me out with no money, I had just lost my Mom from cancer. All he wanted to do was enjoy his newly single life with my Mom's life insurance money all to himself. 15 years later, he's sorry & suddenly wants a family again. No matter how hard I try, the past still hurts me. You do what you need to do to be stress free, confront him then move on.
Answered Sep 01, 2012
Hi Bornfree, exactly the same in my case. Did yours begin like that since u were young? I noticed he changed even before my grandma got ill and he'd start damaging my fragile self esteem, opposed to the course I want to take etc. I HATE him! recently I had got to a numb stage.. but provoked again by clearing my stuff says his are more important. I see he has an OCD problem alw collecting junk not throwing anything away that are his. But counsellors don't want to take my case. :( they advise going with friends but I still come back to same problem! Help!
Answered Dec 09, 2013
-Always be good to your parents no matter of what.
-You do not choose your parents, if you can not stand there way of living or the way they treat each other, you, or other family members then politly tell them the way you feel about it but choose your timing.
-You can not change your parents , as they choose to be that person.
-Just be polite and respectfull, there opinion is there opinoin only it dose nit mean it is the reallity or the truth, if you need a support or an opionion ask the professional in the topic.
-If you need a hand, help or support ask a close friend.
-Do not cut your father he is family.
-remmember what goes around comes around.( your children will deal with you the same way you deal with your own parents).
-Do not stress your self find a way to breath.
Answered Sep 02, 2014
Now in my twenties, I have come to realize my dad is a difficult person. He blames my mother or everyone else for every single thing that goes wrong in his life. For instance, he would blame my mother or us his children if he trips and fall on his own. Because I'm the most independent and outspoken of all my siblings and I dare to be and do things differently than he'd like, he belittles the profession I am preparing to get into (acupuncture and pain management) by calling it voodoo and all sorts of things. He is lazy and has quit every job he has ever had just so he can do whatever he pleases which doesn't even begin to pay bills at home but yet he expects a roof over his head, food on his plate, and clothes on his back, and he demands these by manipulating or guilt tripping us. When he does have money, he drinks and smokes it. For as long as I have remembered, my mother has always carried all the burden of our family and yet he blames her for everything he could still do himself. When I was away at college for undergrad, I used to feel so guilty to a point where I was diagnosed with depression because I was constantly worried about my family members. All of that lead me to not being able to graduate on time because I just wanted to be home and fix my family when I told my dad that, he completely ignored me and accused me of partying and socializing too much and that's why I couldn't graduate on time. Being home to help fix my family turned out to be a complete waste of my time (1.5years) because I have never been so frustrated because they all know my dad has many problems but no one is willing to tell it to him and when I do, I'm seen as disrespectful. Now I've just grown numb to the whole idea and just want to be far away from all the emotional draw backs. I'm about to leave for grad school in a different state and for the first time, I do not care if they trip and fall. I have seen that devoting my time and energy to them only enables them especially my father to be more dependent and demanding of me. For instance, I am the only driver in my family and he just thinks I'm his chauffeur regardless of what I have going on with work, school, or just my life and doesn't care whether my car needs gas, oil change or any major work, he contributes nothing to anyone. He only cares about himself, I mean, the guy won't even have a conversation with you if it doesn't revolve around him and favorably so and he would much rather talk about nonsense than sincerely listen to anyone especially when it has to deal directly with the other person's life. I am just over it.
Answered Aug 04, 2015

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