Girl ive known for a few months is avoiding me, how can i fix this?

Ok so we're both first year students in uni. and i met this girl through one of the programs there and we became really good friends. We talked about a lot of stuff and our past relationships and stuff. She told me that she saw me as a really good friend one day while we were chatting about relationships and I was a little depressed about things and she told me that she saw me as a really good friend, but I really think i have feelings for her now. She told one of my friends that she had a suspicion that I liked her, and ever since then she's been much less talkative and more evasive. I certainly don't want our friendship to die but at this point i dont know what to do. Sometimes it makes me feel really rejected, which leads me to feel insecure. The main reason why she may not like me that way is because Im not in the same religion as she is. Anyways, i was thinking of being upfront and honest about it but i feel like that will make her even more uncomfortable. Advice?
Asked Jan 01, 2010
i would come COMPLETLY clean. if you like her, then tell her. aske her out if she doesnt have a boyfriend. if its one thing us girls absolutly HATE, its waiting.
just be completly honest and all will be well.

good luck darling (:
Answered Jun 02, 2010
It sounds like she's not interested in you as anything more than a friend and the idea that you might want more is putting her off. The fact she told someone that she suspected you liked her and THEN starts avoiding you seems to fit that scenario. I've gone the "come clean" route and it doesn't work unless she's into you, which she'd be letting you know by her body language and making herself available. The fact she's not talking and evading you is pretty much the opposite of that.

No offense intended, but you sound like one of those insecure guys that girls have around to use when its convenient for them but don't want anything romantic with. The best thing you can do for yourself is to not focus your energy on her. Get involved in other things and meet other people. Girls like guys who have something going for them, not guys who are needy and clingy. I was like you in college. I had a lot of girls who I was friends with but they would end up dating my guy friends and coming to me for emotional support. When things were back on track for them, I got kicked to the curb. The thing to keep foremost in your mind is that you are always "cool" with the way things are. Whether you out your feelings or move on, always be nice and say "hi" when you see her. Don't expect much if anything back. If she wants to talk to you she will and unless its anything but chat, you need to let her know you have to go b/c you've got a thing somewhere. You don't want to slip back into mister "nothing going on".

I'm not saying be a "player", I'm just saying be yourself and everything will fall into place. The more time and energy you spend trying to fix this situation, the further from having what you want you will be. Trust me, I've been there and it always ends the same way.

Once I was into doing my own thing, the girls I met wanted to be with me, not my friends. I joined clubs, volunteered for vaious groups etc and joined a Frat. It paid off. I was too busy to focus on one girl or another and then you are more desireable and have more options. Years later, I even had some of my old girl "friends" come around wanting more. That didn't happen until we'd had some time apart though so they could forget about me as a "friend" and see that I might be someone they wanted as more.
Answered Jul 13, 2010
Edited Jul 13, 2010
Hi Janus. I went a step further. I fell in love with my collegue/friend who is engaged.We hung out quite a lot togeather and supported her emotionally, I had also mentioned to her that I liked her a few times .On valentines day I gifted her a box of chocos and she returned it sayin it was not the right thing to do as she was engaged. I said I do understand and backed off.ever since she has been avoiding going out alone with me and only goes out when we have company of other friends.She stopped sending me messages and rarely spoke.We sit next to eachother.2 weeks later she been normal again and does not behave in a weird manner anymore, but I can make out sometimes that she is still sensitive abt certain things. I treat her the same way I did b4 and didnt show I was affected (although I was),this seems to suprise her. We are kinda ok but dunno whats in her mind, shud I do anything diff ?
ask her out tell her how you really feel expresse yourself
Answered Jul 14, 2010

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