Suicide without hurting others?

Is there a way to kill yourself without leaving people devastated?

Please get some help. Some therapy or a school counselor, or SOMETHING. Because it really destroys a lot of lives when a person commits suicide. It is not a solution to anything. My cousin committed suicide two years ago. It wrecked his family, and worse, his friends. No one wants to lose you, even if your mom said something terrible out of anger, it would destroy her to lose you.

no way you will leave devastation also i believe if you take your life you will have to come back .i had 2 friends die by suicide both beautiful kind women one by shotgun one by hanging over 10 years ago i can' t forget them and just the other night i dreamt of one of them.i can only imagine how the families cope even after all these years.don't give up.

If youre considering it, people around you are already devastated to the point where it is making you feel suicidal.

Please see a doctor who can refer you to a mental health care professional. I know if you're thinking of suicide there seems to be nothing at all worth living for, but you need some help. Please please find it, for your sake and the sake of those around you.

look , ive talked to people who have attempted to kill themsleves and have failed, and they said that the failure was the best thing that happened because a friend of mine was tired of life being the same routine and he just couldnt take it, he attempted to hang himself but the rope snapped. a year after he went out for a walk and met a women who to this day is happily married to him and he is a very happy man now. the point is you never know what may come in the future, you could win a billion dollars tomorrow, who the fuck knows, just look its a selfish thing to do and a completly stupid thing. Id know because i am the friend. i am not a believer in god or organized religion, that didnt help me, the thought of the future did. just dont waste your life, and ruin other peoples. but if you are 100% sure and stupid, try and make it look like an accident.

Everyone here is telling you to see a doctor but let me tell you you are not crazy there are many people who are very much like you and the anwser to you r question is no there are people who love and care about you and you may want to talk to them about being depressed because friends are the best people to talk to when you dont know where else to turn, and you never know they mightr secretly feel the same so support them and they will support you.

It is what it is....If your going to kill yourself I don't think you would be asking for advice...! I was a bad drug addict and wanted nothing more to end my life. When your at that point in your life where you don't have anything left to give, The last thing you want is advice from pple you don't even know!!!! Who am I to tell you what to do!!! All's I no is...Shit or get off the pot, cause nobody wants to hear your bullshit sob story!! I can tell you that Life does get better...Really, it does.

I don't know if you are going to read this-- or who is going to read this. Chances are, somebody will.

I have come across your post because I have the same question. I also need to get out of here-- to die-- without more pain to myself and to those around me. But I don't think it is possible to not cause more pain in this act.

This was posted a long time ago; I wonder if you are still around? I hope so. I really hope so. And I hope that you sometimes still check back here.

I don't have any answers to give here. All I know is that you must be in a lot of pain. I know that I am. It's like wearing a mask all day that hides the screams inside-- so other people aren't bothered. But all the while, there is a slow death killing you, eating like a cancer that nobody can see.

I've read over a lot of these other comments-- some of them are cynical, within which I see a hidden despair that is too afraid to face itself, that is running from itself. But you are not running away-- I think you are reaching out for help. You are in pain, and you asked a serious question. I think you are reaching out for help because there is a part of you and me that is still alive. There is a part that wants to die and a part that wants to live.

The question is always there: do I stay or do I go?

But that is not a selfish question, and suicide is not a selfish action. It is not selfish to hurt, to ache, to be lonely, empty, hopeless. You are not choosing to be in pain. It is not selfish.

So what to do-- I don't know. I think it is important to take a minute and wait. Tell yourself that you will give yourself a day, a week, a month. Take it moment by moment, one thing at a time. Focus on each task as if it is the only thing you are doing. You don't have to do more than that. And these thoughts will probably be there-- they will probably come and go. But that is OK. You are taking a time out for yourself.

But within this time that you are taking out, I think it is really important to find somebody to talk to-- somebody who is compassionate and who you can trust. I don't know how old you are but you could look online for therapists in your city or go to your doctor or call up a local church, synagogue or other faith community and tell them you need somebody to talk to. That's a place to start. If I don't know anything else, I do know that compassionate, caring, and competent people do exist who want to help you and who would want you to tell them about your pain and desperation. Sometimes it is hard to find them, but they are out there.

Maybe that's a start.

One thing at a time. Your burden is terribly heavy. It needs to be shared with somebody else.

Take care

Most of these are asshole answers. Do any of you morons think a suicidal person wants to hear a bunch of BS about how "selfish" they are, or how the magic wizard in the sky put them on this worthless planet "for a reason?" Their life has no meaning, nobody's does, quit lying to everyone.

This kind of thing makes me sick because someone asks a perfectly legitimate question, and gets 1 answer that isn't a load of bullshit.

For those of you who are trying to talk this person into killing themselves, you guys need help too!! Shouldn't that be like accessory to murder or something?? If you don't feel like going on with your lives because your miserable, shouldn't you know how this person feels?? If so, why would you make them feel MORE miserable in swaying them into going through with this!? I don't get it?? I've been there myself! we ALL have, I believe. There is a time in everyone's life where they feel like ending it all... some for stupid reasons or some for "logical" reasons but I'm not about to sit here and say that it's EVER OK to KILL yourself... because it's not. I'm not gonna say it's selfish because I know that is never one's intention. But, it would hurt everyone around you. There is NO way to kill yourself and avoid the pain you will cause others. When I was 15, something happened in my life that devastated me to no end! I felt like I
couldn't go on. I JUST WANTED TO DIE!! I was in the girls bathroom at my school and was about to slit my wrists when I remembered what my mother use to tell me... "Wait till morning. a new day, a new beginning." That might sound cheesy and stupid to some people but for me, it saved my life. I waited, and everything got better (in time). Now, i'm not gonna say that those thoughts haven't crossed my mind since. But I haven't acted on them since. And I have a scar to remind me of what I almost lost! But, also to remind me of everything I have now! Even though this post is really old, I hope if anyone comes across it looking for answers that they see this and rethink what they are about to do... Something that can never be taken back and something that can be avoided! You can call this post BS or stupid or "fairytale talk" but I hope they ignore those posts because they are wrong. I've been there... I won't say I understand your pain because I don't know your situation or what you're going through... but I will tell you this... What happened to me when I was 15 I will live with for the rest of my life... but, I will LIVE!!! And THAT I can deal with... pain doesn't go away but it does subside... it dissipates and becomes just a memory... so for the record, 15-18 yo: lost my bf in a car crash, lost my bff to an OD, dad beat me and I gave birth to a still born... and NOW: 2 kids I would die for (to save them), a mom and lil sis who has never given up on me, and a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally... "fairytales"?? maybe but its all real to me!! I am a volunteer at a shelter for battered women and the boys and girls club and I have had a hand in changing lives... they thank me all the time for saving their lives but they really saved mine... my family and the people I volunteer for... they saved me, for without them, I wouldn't have a purpose... YES, PURPOSE!!! We all have a purpose... if we didn't, then why are we here?? And I hope all of you know there is always someone willing to be there for you... you just have to reach out a little bit... btw, I DO believe in God and Jesus, its ok if you don't but for those of you sarcastically quoting us saying that some magic wizard or whatever didn't put us all here, I'd like to know your view on it is because honestly, everything else seems like a mother-goose rhyme too... so quit bringing your ridiculous religious views into it, when people are hurting here, geesh!! So, please, please, please!!! "Wait till morning! New day, New beginning!" I feel like this IS my calling. Helping others FIND their purpose IS my purpose! I hope you are still here with us and I pray to God that you are happy... If you're not happy, I hope you will be one day... if you are no longer with us then I will pray for your family, because Lord knows they are hurting without you. And for everyone else.... learn for MY mistakes...
~GOD bless~ you will be in my prayers...my thoughts...my heart :')
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Have any of you tried sleeping to take your mind off the suicidal thoughts? How about visualisation? Are you able to forget bad memories? I'm guessing no. When you wake up from sleep, your mind is refreshed. The thoughts of suicide only creep in again because you let them. Hope is what is needed here. Try proving to yourself that you can take life a minute at a time.

The answer is absolutely NO. You're not a completely independent unit in this world. You have friends (at least one), relatives, classmates etc. If you choose to kill yourself, those people I mentioned will definitely get hurt.

To be alive is the most important thing in the entire world, which is something I deeply believe! It's also the foundation of everything.

Life means HOPE, if you're poor at this moment and you're alive, you will have a chance to be rich next year (maybe tomorrow, who knows? Life is a miracle, born to explore, that makes one's life interesting, isn't it?) Well, it's just an example, not for money. Everything is the same.

Understand the word "HOPE" deeply, think, I can tell you, if you have hope there's nothing to fear in this world. :o)

No please don't do that:-( answer my question I've never been on this site before

I don't think there is. I have been struggling with this question too. I love my husband sooo much and do not want to leave him feeling like I do now. So, as hard as it is to everyday find a reason to stay alive, I just keep trying for my husband's sake. Good luck. Hang in there. Try to find a therapist and a doctor who can help with medication. hopefully.

Suicide is a very selfish act.
You need help, and sometimes asking for help is a very hard thing to do. I lost my nephew to a car wreck that has left our whole family devistated. It happened December28, 2008, he was eighteen and was a wonderful person. If he could I'm sure he would like to change places with you. Life is not easy. God put each of us on this earth for a reason. We all have a job to do, so find out your purpose in life. Stay strong.

yeah if you had a dollar to be able to take a day off, so you cant pay your 1400 dollar a month auto insurance, your 2000 dollars a month in back taxes, along with of course your 2000 a month of now taxes and dont forget about your debt consolidation bill now that your credit is fucked and you'll never get anywhere or anything again, but yeah I ll just swing by the shelter and pour some soup before I drive my ass off a cliff in my 1400 dollar a month insured vehicle, hope the family gets something for that fuckin price...oh yeah that was only public liability insurance it was supposed to be 2000 a month for insurance that would insure me...what a world...just disappear...thats the best way..fuck it all

the 4-letter word for all would-be suicides: WAIT.

and I find myself just wishing that my life would cease..

Although I like Guilherme's post about "just disappearing," I don't know if being "missing" makes it easier for the friends and family who survive you.

Probably the best way to go would be to stage it so it looked like a freak accident--of course the catch here is that you really don't want to implicate someone else in this-- by that I mean you wouldn't want to traumatize some poor driver you pick to accidentally run you over, anymore than you'd want to fall off a ledge in front of some innocent bystander who would be similarly traumatized.
I've thought of just leaving the gas on in my apartment, just a little, so it looks like an accident... also, it is supposedly a painless way to go... just make sure someone finds you in time so they can harvest your organs for transplant--that would be a nice way to leave on a generous note...

It's probably hard to pull off but if your friends/family thought you had some terrible disease or were in great pain, then your suicide accompanied with an explanatory note might make it easier for all...

I'm still here, despite all i've written. but

All previous comments are very nice and full of "hope"... And bullshit.

When one feels suicidal, and therefore depressed for sure, the is very little anybody can do.

Who is going to correct any harm I have caused to my loved one? Who is going to get her to at leas be able to interact objectively with me? Who is going to put in heart to see me in a neutral way so there is at least a chance of getting back together.

The proper question should be: how do I kill myself without it looking as a suicide? To which questions do not apply any of the bullshit about it not being the answer, or that our loved ones are going to suffer. Supposedly they are going to suffer even if it ruled a natural death.

So, how the fuck can I do it and make it look as a natural death?

And who is to restore my relationships with my children and relatives?
Yes , I know... Myself some friends.

Well, you know what? Those an other suggestions are full of shit.

Many of us have thought or are thinking of ending our life because it plainly sucks in so many ways.

For example, my wife left me recently, not foer an infidelity or anything like that; but for something even worse. I stopped giving her the attention and loving tender care she did deserve; you know, I stopped doing the little things that are so essential to keeping the fire of love in a marriage; plain and simple I fucked up, big time. To the point that the last time we made love, let me correct that, we had sex it ceased to be making love because although she enjoyed she was not comfortable being with me, it was not the same as always", and that was when she knew she could no longer be with me. I have to add here that it had been a few weeks that she had started going out on her own (no, not because she was seeing someone else; she plainly did not want to be around me). You have no idea how ashamed and low that made me feel, like scum, because it meant that she no longer felt good, secure, at peace, around me.

And let me tell you, she is the type of woman every man dreams to have as a life partner.

And THAT makes me feel lower than cow manure, that because I stopped doing the things that made her fall in love with me she stopped loving me and now I have lost the one that filled my life with love, joy, happiness, peace, security and energy. Even worse, there seems to be no way to redeem myself and win her love again.

So, now I just feel empty, a failure as a man and as a human being, hopeless, insecure, not knowing what the fuck to do for the first time in my 51 years of life. Ah yes, and full of debts I have not being able to pay since the construction industry tumbled.

And you know what? I HAVE NO MORE ENERGY to keep on fighting, to keep on living. The thought of what is yet to come -financial catastrophe, lonely life, the mere possibility of seeing her in the arms of another man- lead me to the one logical conclusion: get the fuck out of this life.

Let's reason about what that would entail. First, those that I have hurt (children, wife, other relatives, and some fiends) will not have to deal with my be anymore; My children, who will not suffer too much, will be better off financially because although not that much, each would collect $200,000; I will no longer worry about my wife and she will certainly be able to move forward, with total freedom and without my presence anywhere near her life, she will not have to "worry" about my well being due to our separation and she will be able to establish a new relationship with a man that will be able to love and care for her as she deserves in all aspects, both sentimentally and financially. And last, but not least, I will no longer suffer or have to struggle living a life I don't give a shit about!

Negatives aspects:... well, NONE!

I have not done it, yet, because I have not found the way to kill myself in such manner that will will not case any shadow upon my children or my father's name.

BUT, if and when I find it, I will definitively kill myself without further thoughts because I believe IS the logical thing to do.

A challenge to all. An example: most people care too much what people think...e.g. You wouldnt dream about walking in your public city during the day naked..but you would if no one was left on earth. I see it that you are rock bottom, there can not be much lower. So I think you may all agree if you didn't feel the way you did then you wouldn't want to die, right? So I see your sorrow as being a REAL human, of real emotion and not a robot like many people are. May be you have always felt different or alone to some extent. Well back to my comment of if you were not feeling so low you may not what to die...so since you are in the REAL club, keep going do things more real....I believe for all including myself, your life has just began, and look at this as a sweet card being delt...so you want to die, let's say you look into a crystal ball and you do it in let's say a week. So now why not do what 99.9% of people would love to do but can't...be totally free!!!! Do what ever, run naked in the main city, kiss a stranger, shout at someone in the street, tell your loved one in a public place everything you wish you could tell them but think it's too late...what ever it may be...attempt to rob a bank, you could do anything and it wouldn't matter cause you don't give a damn your as good as dead in a week. But hey, now you start to do all these things, e.g. You tell that person who u hate what an ass they really are to there face. And then ask yourself do you feel a little happier, and then keep doing everything you could imagen you wouldn't have wanted to do if you were in a dream. Now at the end of the week when your going to die, you might just might, think actually I'm slight happier then I was a week ago. If this is true then keep going because you have uncovered the beginning of a new life..something most never experience until they have stared death in the face. You and I are a new beginning, don't waste true release which is what you are looking for, but through death is not the answer, it's the death of you miserable life and a start to new freedom, you now have potential to become whatever you want...and sure enough the reason why you want to die will no longer matter.

I challenge all of you to do this before you end the end rather than end the old you. I am doing this and I am starting to come back and feel like the rules of life don't apply anymore to me.

I challenge you to try...and tell me about the rush that brought you away from death!!!!

I am 55. I am loosing a grip on my world. Mental pain. Anguish. Pain. Suffering daily. No joy. No hope. If I feel anything, it's sadness. Lonliness in a crowded room, silence of the roaring engines in my mind...numbness. I can't escape the never ending tension that races through me...the anxienty that jumps in my throat and chokes me....I WISH IT WOULD CHOKE ME! Stop the pain. If this is what I have to look forward to after 55 yrs; if this is what I have to look forward to for ANOTHER 30 to 40 yrs.......YOU CAN HAVE IT! It is NOT worth it!

Don't drop the guilt load on me about my family, friends and loved ones missing me....... Yes, they will, and it will hurt for a season but it too will pass and I will be in a better place; a peaceful place. Isn't that worth considering? Is that selfish? Everyone is so quick to "talk" about my "well being" but are they REALLY concerned about my well being and peace of mind or are THEY being selfish? Is that not the question we should be asking here? I only want to be at peace...and I cannot find it in this world. It is too painful here.
Therefore I am seeking serious research involving how to make a suicide look like natural or accidental death. I do not live alone therefore I would need to be selective as to means and opportunity. I have a financial responsibility and if my death is determined suicide my insurance will not pay.
This is my delimma:
1. I want to do this right. I have screwed up enough things over the years (who wants to end up veggie) and I'm not into pain.
2. Don't want to involve anyone else. No partners in crime. No jumping in front of cars, etc.
3. Drugs/alcohol, gunshot/cutting are traceable at autopcy (not to mention the latter are painful).

This is a serious inquiry and I would appreciate ONLY serious responses.
K9

I'm 31, I'm very tired and I have the same problem. I feel trapped in this life. I'm on my 3rd career, my health is not great, I've had health problems all my life, I haven't achieved any of the things I set out to achieve, I hate the way I look, and my dog died last month, we were very close, he was 9 years old and he was my child.

I know that if I took my life my mom and sister would be devastated. We have already lost 2 people in my immediate family (one was murdered, the other died in a car accident) and I feel that ending my own life would cause my family more pain, which I could avoid by staying alive. And yet I feel trapped because I don't want to be here and never did. I've wanted to die since I was about 4 years old, it's all I've ever wanted. Live only seems to get worse for me.

And by the way I'm not looking for attention. If you knew me in person, you would know that I hate being the center of attention and I shy away from people. Anyway, I guess I'm stuck here.

i know what it feels like to be a cutter and it is not fun never start I cant stop o am only 10

Interesting blog responses. I do actually have suicidal tendencies and I believe you do NOT. You're a young kid with the internet at your disposal. Come chill with me over coffee and let's compare woes. My biggest notion: you are not alone. DUDE, u would be surprised how NOT alone you actually are.

I am not saying you should or shouldn't. I know I want to. I know the only reason I haven't is because I don't want to be viewed as a quitter or leave my 11and 10 year old I don't get to see or my 5 month old alone without a father. Why does that matter to me? I am not completely sure. I know that not all the shit around me isn't my fault. However, I am well aware of the shit around me that is my fault. I don't know that we can't hurt those around us, but I do have my own thought to make it easier on those around me that have no ability to understand the feeling of a pit that seems to continuously grow within, or the massive hands that won't allow this6'2" 240 lbs man that is in descent shape from sitting up out of a chair. Relocate... why? Possibly everyone will be used to me being "gone" before I actually am gone. Hopefully this will take some of the sting out for them. Maybe something good will come out of my relocating and I will change my mind, but its unlikely.

What if you need to die to keep someone's secret safe?

Hi,
36 year old, single guy, miserable as fuck.
I've had every chance in this life, PhD educated, had a great job, nice flat, pleasant enough girlfriend, all that about 5 years ago. Now I am entirely socially isolated (as in only my mother and sister will still occasionaly attempt to make contact), I moved country last year as a way to further distance myself to make the transition for them easier.

When I decided to kill myself about 3 years ago it seemed an entirely rational and a natural decision, not a great deal of thought or introspection was given to it. Now its getting closer my thoughts are all consumed about past regrets and failures, it's like my life flashing in front of my eyes but in an extended and depressing as fuck way. Emile Durkeims study seems to put me in the egoistic suicide bracket, basically he sais that 'as a man's bond to society relaxes, so does his bond to life'. That appears to be the case.

I've always been very anxious about people, (eg. the last time a random person who tried to engage me in conversation while in a starbucks, within 5 mins my shirt was drenched with sweat, face beaming red, hands wringing, heart palpitating....) I mean honestly, fuck that shit. I'm pretty sure I've never been at ease with anyone my entire life and its just too damn tiring. I won't even go into how scared I am standing in line at the supermarket.
Social phobia folowed by chronic loneliness seems a reasonable summation.

I'm going to use a tent and a charcoal grill, ala suicide hibatchi. I've told my mum I'm cycle touring round Europe. All my possesions are gone now and all I have is a bike and touring gear, I'm going to find a secluded spot to end it in some distant place. I've perhaps romanticized this part of it as I envisage a philosphical ending staring across mountains and seas listening to Eddie Vedders 'Into the Wild' soundtrack.
I'm not sure whether to leave identification on my body. It's possible it could look like an accident so the parents don't get the whole suicide/shame thing. Although, I'm probably just going to dump all ID and be a john doe in some far away place.

I am 58 years old and there isn't a day that I can remember that I didn't wish I was dead. If there is a way I'd like to know too.

Look, if this person really wants to do this, why the fuck shouldnt he/she? would you rather them live their life suffering day by day? Its not a selfish thing to do, it would leave a lot of pain though behind on your family etc if they found out it was suicide! But, if it was to be an accident it wouldnt be half as bad as the suicide. And, as I am in the same boat as this person, I would like to help them and maybe see what they think to this. 'Acconite' is a natural plant that is very poisonous, it slows the heart rate down making it look like a heart attack. So I was thinking, find some acconite, go on a night out in town with some friends / work colleagues or whoever, slip some acconite in your drink and drink it. Worst outcome will be that they will examine your blood and find traces of acconite, but they wont be able to prove it was a suicide, anyone could have put it there! hope this helps because im considering it I just want to make sure its full proof!

Lots of people here leave their reason here as to why they would want to commit suicide, or how it makes them feel, or how miserable they are. Now don't get me wrong, I can't begin as to understand your pain, but that doesn't answer the question asked. Same goes for the people who are telling this person not to commit suicide: Who are you to tell them what to do and not to? In the end, when a person is depressed, the only one that can decide for them and help them is THEMSELVES. You make life what you want it to be, it all depends on your mentality.
As for my response to the question,

I don't believe there's a way to kill yourself without hurting anyone else in the process. Family, friends, people in your neighborhood will all be affected by suicide. Even if you make it look like an accident, people around you will still be affected.
But if you're really suffering that much, and you're in so much pain, your friends, your family, they should be able to understand if you commit suicide. I'm not trying to convince you to, I'm just trying to state both the pros and cons.
If you really decide to, then you must realize everything will end. Not just your sorrow and pain, but you'll also lose any chance at feeling happiness again. You'll leave the people around you shocked, maybe traumatized, and hurt, but you'll also teach them a valuable lesson: To value human life, and to be more aware of the suffering of people around them. In short, it would bring people together, and create closer bonds to, but with a price.

However, this is entirely what I believe. I'm still young, and many people might not want to take me seriously because of my age, because they believe I'm not able to understand such things, but there's a reason I looked up this question. I don't know if I helped, or if I offended anyone (I'm sorry if I did), but being able to put my thoughts into words is a bit of a relief for me. So thank you for asking the question, and sorry for being a hypocrite, cause I myself am drifting away from the answer.

Your life is your own, live it as you think is right!

"Being a quiter" that's why I don't give up smoking, because I'm not a quiter, (rolls eyes)
I posted this on another site earlier today,

"I understand where the OP is coming from, while not the same circumstance as he, I don't want to be here anymore, haven't for, well as long as I can remember. The way I look at those left behind, and this is my view, my rationale, people will be sad, yeah, that's a given, but I think it is selfish that they want you to not do something basically just for the reason so they can still have you around etc, what about the fact that you don't want to be around ? You have your reasons. I'm almost 50, I got a good job etc, but to me life is not really worth the pain, to me it's just not worth it, and if I could find a way that was acceptable, I may not be here now. Basically it's a fear of failing in the attempt, becoming a vegetable, a burden on your family etc. Then there is the actual doing, that would be hard, the moments before, you'd have to be pretty committed. But , and the reason I ended up here, is the not being found by anyone bit, how handy would it be if you shot yourself at home, and your mum or dad come in and found you, blood and body tissue everywhere, decaying, that's all a bit much, or dangling from a tree, no, to much to put on anyone, let alone your loved ones. And the comment up above somewhere ( sorry, didn't read all of them) about if your thinking, or willing to kill yourself you should be brave enough to do anything, well that's a load of BS, it's got nothing to do with bravery or fearing something, it;s not wanting to do something, in this case LIVE, just the same as if you don't want to eat chocolate ice cream, you don't, just differing degree. And all this chemical imbalance crap, not saying it isn't true, but it comes back to the simple fact, that we just would prefer not to be here, is the fact that I don't want chocolate ice cream a chemical imbalance ? Yeah I know holes can be picked, well aware of it, but everything now days has a name attached to it, a reason, it's all a load of BS. "Hey I'm sad, depressed because my family just all got killed in an horrific car accident" . . . ." Never mind son, your suffering from 'some million lettered word', here, take a pill and you'll be fine" He's got good reason to be that way, it's a natural feeling, or "chemical imbalance" if you will.

You like your life and want to be here ? fine, but don't come down on those who have a different experience than yours, or do you expect everyone to like and eat chocolate ice cream ? :) Not everyone is the same, not everyones experience is the same, if I could just push a button right now ad just vanish, I'd be out of here so fast your head would spin. But alas, it seems I must suffer on, because I haven't got the guts, or an acceptable method. Which brings me to . . .

I think the best way, or at least the best way I have come up with, and not being found is not guaranteed, but go somewhere a bit remote, and just starve to death, doesn't require going through that brutal, messy instant fix scenario, but depending on location, may give you the not being found part, or at least until your just bones scattered all over the place. But it does include a longer time, it's certainly not instant, but once, and if you got to the stage of being to weak to move, it's game over, just a matter of time. Leave letters to your loved ones explaining your feelings and desires, sure they will be sad, but they will get over it, the same as they would if you were killed in a car accident. Oh, and of course a message for anyone who may find you, or your remains, but if your just bones scattered around, it's not going to be so traumatic as blood and guts or a dangling corpse or the like, so they will be right. Still hard, but the best I have come across yet, but once you cross the summit, your home and hosed.

Then again, I'm still here, can't actually remember the last time I have actually wanted to be here, nor can I remember a time that I so didn't want to be here, yet here I am ? Oh the God thing, I believe in God, and all 'religions are different, and I don't mean to offend anyone, just the way I understand it' there's no literal burning in hell for ever and ever, what sort of merciful God would do that ? Yes I am aware of the arguments etc, this isn't a religious forum, so lets just leave it there, and suicide isn't necessarily a one way ticket to hell. God understands all, knows all, knows and understands your circumstances, motives and reasons, fair enough your showing a lack of faith by killing yourself, but lets just let him decide hey ? He knows the whole story.

Anyway, I'm interested in methods that are non brutal, and a good chance that no one will have to come across a brutal scene, most of all loved ones. That's where I am, and why I ended up here. Hope not to see you all again, or for much longer, but . . . . . . "