"Being a quiter" that's why I don't give up smoking, because I'm not a quiter, (rolls eyes)
I posted this on another site earlier today,
"I understand where the OP is coming from, while not the same circumstance as he, I don't want to be here anymore, haven't for, well as long as I can remember. The way I look at those left behind, and this is my view, my rationale, people will be sad, yeah, that's a given, but I think it is selfish that they want you to not do something basically just for the reason so they can still have you around etc, what about the fact that you don't want to be around ? You have your reasons. I'm almost 50, I got a good job etc, but to me life is not really worth the pain, to me it's just not worth it, and if I could find a way that was acceptable, I may not be here now. Basically it's a fear of failing in the attempt, becoming a vegetable, a burden on your family etc. Then there is the actual doing, that would be hard, the moments before, you'd have to be pretty committed. But , and the reason I ended up here, is the not being found by anyone bit, how handy would it be if you shot yourself at home, and your mum or dad come in and found you, blood and body tissue everywhere, decaying, that's all a bit much, or dangling from a tree, no, to much to put on anyone, let alone your loved ones. And the comment up above somewhere ( sorry, didn't read all of them) about if your thinking, or willing to kill yourself you should be brave enough to do anything, well that's a load of BS, it's got nothing to do with bravery or fearing something, it;s not wanting to do something, in this case LIVE, just the same as if you don't want to eat chocolate ice cream, you don't, just differing degree. And all this chemical imbalance crap, not saying it isn't true, but it comes back to the simple fact, that we just would prefer not to be here, is the fact that I don't want chocolate ice cream a chemical imbalance ? Yeah I know holes can be picked, well aware of it, but everything now days has a name attached to it, a reason, it's all a load of BS. "Hey I'm sad, depressed because my family just all got killed in an horrific car accident" . . . ." Never mind son, your suffering from 'some million lettered word', here, take a pill and you'll be fine" He's got good reason to be that way, it's a natural feeling, or "chemical imbalance" if you will.
You like your life and want to be here ? fine, but don't come down on those who have a different experience than yours, or do you expect everyone to like and eat chocolate ice cream ? :) Not everyone is the same, not everyones experience is the same, if I could just push a button right now ad just vanish, I'd be out of here so fast your head would spin. But alas, it seems I must suffer on, because I haven't got the guts, or an acceptable method. Which brings me to . . .
I think the best way, or at least the best way I have come up with, and not being found is not guaranteed, but go somewhere a bit remote, and just starve to death, doesn't require going through that brutal, messy instant fix scenario, but depending on location, may give you the not being found part, or at least until your just bones scattered all over the place. But it does include a longer time, it's certainly not instant, but once, and if you got to the stage of being to weak to move, it's game over, just a matter of time. Leave letters to your loved ones explaining your feelings and desires, sure they will be sad, but they will get over it, the same as they would if you were killed in a car accident. Oh, and of course a message for anyone who may find you, or your remains, but if your just bones scattered around, it's not going to be so traumatic as blood and guts or a dangling corpse or the like, so they will be right. Still hard, but the best I have come across yet, but once you cross the summit, your home and hosed.
Then again, I'm still here, can't actually remember the last time I have actually wanted to be here, nor can I remember a time that I so didn't want to be here, yet here I am ? Oh the God thing, I believe in God, and all 'religions are different, and I don't mean to offend anyone, just the way I understand it' there's no literal burning in hell for ever and ever, what sort of merciful God would do that ? Yes I am aware of the arguments etc, this isn't a religious forum, so lets just leave it there, and suicide isn't necessarily a one way ticket to hell. God understands all, knows all, knows and understands your circumstances, motives and reasons, fair enough your showing a lack of faith by killing yourself, but lets just let him decide hey ? He knows the whole story.
Anyway, I'm interested in methods that are non brutal, and a good chance that no one will have to come across a brutal scene, most of all loved ones. That's where I am, and why I ended up here. Hope not to see you all again, or for much longer, but . . . . . . "