Please don't judge me, I'm just looking for advice because I'm in a very difficult situation?

I just turned 18 years old and my parents found out I had done cocaine one time. They took my car, my freedom, and everything. I think they have a right to take my car because they paid for it but at the same time they expect me to go find a job without my car. And i think taking my freedom and "grounding" me is a little drastic considering im 18. Anyway I got a call from a guy offering me a stripping job that is totally legit. My parents refused to pay for school for me because they want me to be a nurse and i want to be a cosmetologist. im already $1000 in the hole from credit cards so i cant get a loan. My whole life my parents controlled my life, so im considering moving into my boyfriends parents house. my parents hate my boyfriend and told me they would kick me out if i saw him again. His family is willing to take me in. My mom is my best friend but i feel if i dont move out, ill never be able to seperate myself from her. i know she only wants whats best for me but shes controlling my life. stripping would only be temporary. just to pay for school, and a car and the neccesties to live. i just really need some advice, not personal judgements.
agarciax3
Asked Nov 23, 2009
hey sweety, I honestly think that you should go for it and be a stripper and move out of your moms house, go for it!!! I mean my dad kicked me out as soon as I hit 18 and I went and lived with my boyfriend. Things are amazing now and I have faith in you. I think that just cuz stripping is not the best career doenst mean that you cant do it temporarily. So I say go for it but always listen to your gut feeling. whenever something doesnt feel right get out of the situation and go somewhere safe. If you dont feel comfortable, than you shouldnt be there!!! xoxo-jen
jennicatrent, please don't post answers in comments, just post them as answers. Thank you.
what sad advice, you jennicatrent need to mature in your understanding of the real world, you sound 12???
the more your parents try to control you, the more you will resent them and rebel. the more you rebel, the more they will try to control you. this is the endless cycle of control. and it never works.

letting someone control you is just as bad as them controlling you.

it's your life. follow your heart. whatever decision you make, every decision you make, let it be the highest one. the one that will be the most fruitful for your life. don't make decisions out of spite or to rebel or to get back at your parents, etc. that is mis-serving to you and your life, ultimately.

be the best version of you you can be. stripping, cocaine, fighting with your parents, living with your boyfriend? is this who you really are? is this really what you really want?

with the right intentions you can do anything you want.
street
Answered Nov 24, 2009
I don't think you should take the stripping job becaue that can lead to.... certain things and i'm sure even though you would move out from your parents, they'd be upset. I'm sure you can find yourself a better job.
And good luck with the parent thing!
Awesomegirl
Answered Dec 06, 2009
TALK TO THEM.

Talking calmly can solve a lot of issues.

EXPLAIN YOUR PASSION FOR COSMETOLOGY
*Tell them about all the things you could learn if you went to school for that. *Show them your dedication to it. Don't just say "I don't want to be a nurse, I want to be a cosmetologist instead". They see this as you just settling rather than you choosing your own path.
*Plan it out. Look for a good school in cosmetology. Let your parents know you have a passion for it and don't just want to do it because you rather that than being a nurse.
*Tell them "I would hope that you'd help me pay for school... but if you can't I'll find a way to pay for it... but I'm not going to give up my dream of being a cosmetologist."

DON'T LEAVE HOME
*boyfriends cheat. If you're staying at your boyfriend's or his parents'... would you let him cheat because you're afraid of not having any other place to go?

DON'T TAKE THAT JOB...
... if you have any sort of respect for yourself.

It would be understandable if you had a child to look after, a pile of unpaid bills, an eviction notice, or a thousand unanswered job applications filled. You have some time to look for a job though and don't have any mouths to feed (your parents are covering these costs ATM, right?). Let your parents know how dedicated you are to finding a job and they won't hassle you over it. However, if you say you're looking for a job... but everytime they see you you're either online... or watching t.v.... it won't work and they'll keep bothering you about it. Look everywhere. This strip job is the kind of job your parents would definetly be disappointed in you for taking. You don't want your parents to say "where did we go wrong?", do you? Don't take it as a form of punishment for your parents.... they only want what's best for you. When they urge you to be a nurse... they don't do it because they want to impose their authority on you. They do it because it's a decent job... with decent pay... and they don't want you to struggle with the need of money in the future.

AND ABOUT THE CAR
Ask your father how you can earn it back. Tell him that you made a mistake... and that you know it. The transportation thing need not be an issue. I don't have a car... and my dad takes me to work and picks me up from work too. If you talk to your dad, I'm pretty sure you can work up a plan... or you could take the bus if your job is close enough. You can also 'borrow' the car... with certain conditions. For example, you'll only use it to and from work... and will ask for permission if you need it for something else.

You'd be surprised how far talking can get you.



heartless1
Answered Dec 21, 2009
im not sure if strippign is the best way to sort this out but i think you may need to move out, it sounds like its the best way out for you. can i ask why your parents dont like this boy?
katie101
Answered Nov 24, 2009
i no what your goin though i am 17 ina half and i got cought smokin ma ca was takin away but i dont gatta boy freind i did strippin 4 2 months i got wrapped and a man kidnapped me dont do it ur choosin the wrong path but im prayin and hopin you the best heads up kk!
ahjanera
Answered Dec 08, 2009
Stripping is stupid and 1000 dollars in debt is nothing, try being 18 and in over 10,000 in debt. Just get a steady job that doesn't involve lowering your self respect and pay back as much as you can monthly, try to pay more then the minimum payment and it'll go down faster. Stripping is a big decision because you're going to feel like crap about yourself for taking your clothes off and giving your innocence away to a bunch of creeps that probably have naive wives at home. Good luck hun!
lowlife
Answered Dec 14, 2009
you are just confused with the opportunities you are seeing after turning 18. remember, even a person is one day older than you, he has more experience. instead of confronting and fightin and resisting, find out the solutions. talk to your paretns, ask help from your friends and evaluate the consequences of whatever you chose for yourself (thinking the best). your life just started, you want to set a path. your dreams are wonderful, but your baggage (cocaine and stripping ideas) are not going to help you out to get to your destiny. there is not single parent in the universe who does not want their kids to be at the best place. if they are not supporting you, ask them the reasons. think out of the box and create your golden future instead of dark activities.
xmatch
Answered Jan 08, 2010
i wouldnt run off to your bf's place, i dont think thats the answer. as for the job as a stripper, you need to REALLY think about what youre doing. you are taking off your clothes for money. im not judging, im putting it plainly and simply. one of my good friends was in a somewhat similar predicament and needed cash fast so she started working at a strip club. i warned her beforehand that this isnt just a job--it is a lifestyle change. and i have seen the changes in her--not positive ones at that. my friends mother was actually a stripper when she was very young, a fact her mom had tried very hard to hide from her daughter. remember, once youre a stripper you can never say you werent again. its not that you cant just do it for a while and move on--its just that most women dont end up doing that. every girl who dances up there with my friend has a whole bunch of baggage, issues, dysfunctional relationships/self-image. i would suggest taking a look at what youre doing. sit down with your parents and work to some kind of agreement. dont allow either side to escalate it to arguing or nothing will ever get resolved. this is a workable problem, so make a wise decision. good luck!
alav0814
Answered Jan 08, 2010
I've learned that parents are often right about certain things. Where you feel that they are controlling, they feel they are protecting. I think most of the choices you have confronted yourself with is in an effort to disestablish yourself from your parents. There are other ways of doing this. If you are hard up for money - moving out IS NOT a good thing to do-as food, rent, electricity bills, water, heating etc. cost A LOT, and these are costs your boyfriends parents will want paid - either now, or when you've broken up. Talk to your parents about their restrictions, show that you are ready for the responsibility of a decent job, and look into cosmotology schools etc.

Most importantly - blood is thicker than water, and while your boyfriend might stay - he might go. Your family is the only one who truly knows you. When you are old and have your own children, your husband might know what you looked like when you were 20...but will he know how you were when you were 12? Or 3? That becomes so important. Other people knowing your full history - things even you cant remember. I wouldn't give up on your family.
Uniqueshadow
Answered Jan 18, 2010
Tell your parent and do it; get Christian counseling! A Four Squire Church has some good places to help resolve any issues with your parents and the baggage that you may have.

My son is 20, he moves out for two months and gets married! with roommates.

Not a good situation! So I asked them to move in with me and save money while their going to school. They did, and are saving money for school.

So , if I were you; I would get some good Christian support, that would win your over parents support, trust the Lord Jesus, and do what He says, and WOW! you will be amassed how every thing will work out. So I wish you Jesus, He is the way and the truth and the Life!
Ask Him to come into your life, He loves you, and died on the cross for all of our sins, and for gets them too; their buried forever! So I wish you Lords of Lords, Jesus, their is something about that Name, He is second to none!
thepen
Answered Jan 18, 2010
Consider what is urging you to make these decisions. Do you just want to party all the time and get messed up on drugs and not care about facing the less fun parts of life? If you just want to be a party girl and only focus on having fun or partying, all the times that you aren't partying are going to really suck. You are only 18, 18 doesn't mean anything, you don't know what you want. I would say deal with living with your parents and you wont regret any stupid 18 year old decisions later on.

If you are just frustrated because you can't do whatever you want even though you're 18 you will get yourself into a lot of trouble, and I GUARANTEE you will regret it.

SimpleSights
Answered Jan 21, 2010
You have a right to be upset but remember they love you and parents think they are doing the right thing.Give them time and try to talk things out with them and start off praying about your problems and ask God to lead you in the right direction and it will be away from the stripping job. Have more pride for yourself because once you go out there and strip there will be the fools that may hurt you .
ginnygin
Answered Jan 27, 2010
You are 18 - you are officially an adult. Make your own decisions. If they aren't paying for you, then you have to do what you have to do and have no obligation to stay under their roof.
eghall
Answered Jan 28, 2010
frist of all why aer you doing cocain!
keyanna99999
Answered Feb 06, 2010
Edited Feb 06, 2010
hey dear, I think you shoud wait for few months, things will be perfectly allright one day, but you should never leave you parents, one day or the another they will understand you and yours fellings, trust me.
priyanka
Answered Mar 17, 2010
please don't take advice that ultimatley cause you more distruction. I was someone who made these very same choices, very same and live to regret the fact that I used the excuse that it was "temporary", it's a lie from the pit of Hell, making that kind of money so easliy, is a very hard habit to break, on top of it I was brought up to believe in Jesus, and that is the farthest from His truth and is a sinful lifestyle that can cost you your eternal life with him. It's not worth it, this is 15 years later in my life and I'm a mother of two girls, and I would NEVER want to see them lower there values/morals to do that, I'm ashamed as a mother that I did that. Please understand you need to turn it over to Christ, and ask Him to help guide, that was my ONLY hope.
jjba2008
Answered Apr 14, 2010
do not do that u will lose all self-respect and if u love ur boyfiend and he loves u what would he want with a wife eveybody has looked at naked think about the future and what would his mother think of u
sdavis
Answered May 06, 2010

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