My 34 year old son passed away last year. Leaving behind a 4 yr. old daughter

My 34 year old son passed away last yr. leaving behind a 4 yr. old daughter who was adopted by foster parents, mother gave up her rights, and I was not informed of the proceedings, where, when and info was kept from me.
If she is with a loving family in Conn, I just want visitation as she is on my mind and in my heart every day. I raised four kids ranging from 19 to 37 and I was a specialized foster care provider for two prominent agencies. Recently, my brother gave me the adopted parents emails, with their permission, sent two emails, no replies, I am single with empty nest syndrome, a volunteer for the Red Cross Disaster Services. I live on the Cape in Mass. but nothing
holds me here anymore because everyone is living their own lives. What should I do???

This is a very sad situation and my first question is what kind of Mother would do this to her own Daughter especially after loosing her Daddy? Our children are number one and I wouldn't give them up no matter what sacrifice I had to make or job it took. The very thought of doing this to those who depend on me and love me sickens me to my soul. It puts a whole new meaning on the definition of "Self Centered!" I cannot image the emotional scar that this little girl suffered when her own mother gave her up after losing her father? However, on the other hand if your sons wife was handicapped or mentally challenged it is something I can understand -- wanting to have her daughter raised by people who would love her and take care of her, providing her with the things in life she will need. If she simply put herself and what she wanted ahead of her daughter she is what is wrong with the world and I have nothing good to say about her at all. No one worth their salt would do this to a little girl who just lost her Daddy even if she had to scrub toilets for the rest of her life to support this little girl..
You on the other hand are finding not everything about getting older is a good thing with many changes one faces as they grow older. As a grandparent however I believe that in some states you have some right to grandchildren. Had your sons wife not done what she did you might have been able to take over this little girls life and keep her with family. I had some of the best Grandparents a person could have growing up and were much like my own parents. There is no easy answer but if you love this little girl find a way of getting done what you need to get done. If you are a quality person there are plenty of children that need a grandmother figure in their lives. Maybe some counseling will help you find some answers and solutions to the issues that you face. Stay strong and keep your faith. Now is not the time to fall apart this little girl is your flesh and blood and may need you!! Not all Forster homes have the children's best interest in mind but the money they get for them!!

If your state has the Grandparent Law you have grandparent rights. You can get visitation and possibly joint or full custody. Which ever one you choose. Contact a local Family Law Attorney in your state. Good Luck.

Consider applying in the Conn family court to be named as an 'interested party', due to the death of your son and your status as a natural paternal grand parent.
Should the Court agree you have standing, you may then apply to the Family Court for an Access Order granting you access by phone, mail, email or in-person.